Prank Calls
by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo
Summary: Edward and the others left to go hunting Bella and Alice, are home alone, Join them as they prank call, The Cullens, The Wolves, Mike, Jessica, Lauren and many more!REVENGE IN STORE! SEQUEL NOW OUT! Prank War
1. Emmett Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. All rights go to .**

**Summary:** Edward goes hunting. Alice and Bella prank call all there friends, join them as they make hilarious funny prank calls!

**Prank call**

**Chapter 1**

I woke up to someone bouncing excitedly on my bed. "URGH. Go away I'm tired." The voice I dreaded spoke. "Come on Bella let's go shopping!" It was Alice's whiny voice. "NO Alice I'm tired" I moaned

"Okay but you better be up soon," She said. I slumped back onto the bed. I slipped back into a deep sleep. But not 5 minutes later music blasted downstairs. I groaned and got out of bed.

And as I walked downstairs there was Alice playing full blast Flo-Rida. "ALICE FOR GOD SAKE US HUMANS NEED TO SLEEP" I shouted, it was a good thing Charlie had gone to work early.

"Aww Bella, your awake, finally, go get changed and we will go back to my house!" She enthusiastically said. I trudged up the stairs and took a cold shower and walked into my room. On the bed was an outfit with a yellow post-it note. It read:

**Bella,**

**You better wear what I have laid out for you!**

**You don't know how long it took to get ****your**** size and **** your**** colour**

**So please wear it. **

**Love you,**

**Alice x**

Great, I looked down to see what she had for me. It was a light blue tank top, dark blue skinny jeans and silver pumps. It wasn't that bad. I put it on and went to the bathroom, to do my hair, and brush my teeth. On the mirror there was a note, in neat elegant script:

**Love, **

**I am really sorry but I have gone hunting**

**with the others I should be back tonight. **

**Alice have stayed behind to look after you. Have fun **

**All my Eternal love**

**Edward **

I read and re-read it. It was beautiful, but he had gone to hunt, meaning I had the whole day with Alice, a shop-a-holic. Great. Oh well, some quality time with my soon to be sister, must be a good thing. "BELLA, COME ON WE NEED TO GET GOING!" Alice screamed.

"Okay I'm coming!" I screamed back. I made my way down stairs. I was curious of what we would be doing today. "Alice, what are we doing today?"

"Umm, well the shopping mall I want to go to isn't open for another 20 minutes so, let's umm…" She had a blank look on her face, she was having a vision. "Oh Bella that is a great idea, let's prank call someone" She exclaimed.

"Okay, how about we prank call, Emmett?" I suggested.

"That is brilliant, get you mobile, I don't think Emmett has your number!" Alice shrieked. I looked at her. "Calm down, Alice," I said

"IM sorry I'm sorry it is just soo FUN I can't wait. NOW GO GET YOUR PHONE!!" She shouted. I ran to grab my mobile, only tripping twice. I shoved it in Alice's hand. She quickly dialled Emmett's number. "Okay" she whispered "Shut up" she warned.

[A/N: _italics= _Bella and Alice **Bold= **Emmett]

**Hello…?**

*silence*

**Hello..?**

_**Hello this is…**_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFF HANGER GIVE ME SOME IDEAS, HOW SHOULD THE CNVO GO?! REVIEW PLEASE! CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES, ALL FUNNY ;) SUMMER POOL MADNESS & NEW LIFE, OLD FRIENDS …**

**NEXT 3 REVIEWS GET THE NEXT CHAPTER DEDICATED TO THEM!**

**XOXOTWILIGHTLOVEROXOX**


	2. Emmett Part II

**DISCLAMER: I DO NOT OWN TOYS 'R' US, BRATZ OR ANY CHARACTERS**

**I KNO SAD BUT I GET OVER IT!**

**Prank Calls**

**Chapter 2**

[A/N: _italics= _Bella and Alice **Bold= **Emmett]

**Hello…?**

*silence*

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is…_

BPOV

…_Toys 'R' us _ I let out a quiet giggle. "Shut up! He will hear us" Alice whisper yelled

**[A/N: I know Emmett would hear them talking on the other line, but just pretend he can't] **__

**Toys 'R' Us? What do you want? Is the thing in stock? **What thing, whatever it was he seems pretty excited about it. I had giggling fits, so I let Alice take over.

_Mr Cullen, it seems that you Bratz limited addition dolls rock band is available! _This is just too funny!

**Is it really? Does it come with the *whisper* Bratz team rock band stage?**

_The what, I'm afraid you need to speak up, Mr Cullen _By now I was stifling my laughter.

***raises voice* Does it come with the Bratz team rock band stage?**

_I'm afraid Mr Cullen the line is weak, please speak up!_

**FOR GOD'S SAKE DOES IT COME WITH THE BRATZ TEAM ROCK BAND STAGE??!**

_Well yes it does, it is being delivered as we speak. It shall be there in about an hour or so. Ok._

**Thank you so much, I can't wait until my sister get's it she will be delighted! **It was obvious Emmett was making up a sister.

_What's your sister called?_

**Ummm….Alice Cullen**

_I shall give it to her then._

**No no, give it to me I want to see her when she gets it. **

_Oh ok, I shall engrave her name on it for you, what's her name ALICE CULLEN ok. Thank you Mr Cullen_

**NO NO wait don't engrave her name in it---**

_*hang up* _

Me and Alice burst out laughing. I was gripping to the sides of the table for support, I was laughing that hard.

EPOV

[The prank call in their POV]

Me and Jasper had finally finished the herd of deer. There was no mountain lions today, quite depressing. We walked over to try and find Emmett. He was on the phone. It was probably to Rosalie. I should call Bella. I quickly typed into my phone Bella's number, which I knew off by heart. 07923841278.

**The number you have called is on the phone at the moment, please try again later.**

Oh, when does she ever use her phone? I decided to listen to whoever Emmett was on the phone too. It was definitely not Rosalie's voice. It was a man. But for some reason it seemed to sound a bit like Bella.

**Toys 'R' Us? What do you want? Is the thing in stock? **What thing, whatever it was he seems pretty excited about it. I let out a giggle. So did Jasper.

_Mr Cullen, it seems that you Bratz limited addition dolls rock band is available! _This is just too funny!

**Is it really? Does it come with the *whisper* Bratz team rock band stage? **I had to strain to hear, but I still couldn't hear what he said.

_The what, I'm afraid you need to speak up, Mr Cullen _

***raises voice* Does it come with the Bratz team rock band stage?**

What did he just say, Does it come with the rats steam rock hand stage…? What is that?!

I decided to read Emmett's mind for some answers

_**Emmet's thoughts: PLEASE BE IN STOCK PLEASE BE IN STOCK**_. This made no sense. Please may what be in stock?

_I'm afraid Mr Cullen the line is weak, please speak up!_

**FOR GOD'S SAKE DOES IT COME WITH THE BRATZ TEAM ROCK BAND STAGE??!**

OMG, he wants a BRATZ TEAM ROCK BAND STAGE…what a gay man. Well actually bratz are pretty cool. No Edward you are not gay, you have already had doubts, anyway back on task. We are doubting Emmett's sexuality, not yours. Jasper stared at me. Wow I must have been zoned out for a while.

_Well yes it does, it is being delivered as we speak. It shall be there in about an hour or so. Ok._

**Thank you so much, I can't wait until my sister get's it she will be delighted! **It was obvious Emmett was making up a sister. Alice wouldn't want that…

_What's your sister called?_

**Ummm….Alice Cullen**

_I shall give it to her then._

**No no, give it to me I want to see her when she gets it. **

_Oh ok, I shall engrave her name on it for you, what's her name ALICE CULLEN ok. Thank you Mr Cullen_

**NO NO wait don't engrave her name in it---**

They had already hung up… Poor Emmett.

BPOV

"Alice let's go to Toys 'r' us and get a bratz team rock band stuff" I gave her a wink.

BACK FROM TOYS 'R' US

"Okay, when Emmett comes back in 30 seconds pretend we got them delivered, and it has my name engraved on the back. Okay" Alice explained. Before I could answer. There was a booming voice.

"Hey Alice, Bella!" Prank Call Part 2. begin

EPOV

WHEN THE OTHERS COME HOME 3 HOURS LATER…

"Hey Alice, Bella!" Emmett boomed. There was no reply. I was worried, Me and Emmett ran up to Alice's room and we saw them grasping Bratz dolls…

Emmetts face flushed.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THEM FROM??!!!" He demanded. He ran up and grabbed the dolls, he flipped them over, there in black font was the words he had been dreading

**ALICE CULLEN **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Emmett screamed

"What? What's wrong Emmett?" I questioned grinning. Emmett caught my reaction and said,

"Umm, nothing I umm..thought they had spelt her name wrong." He grinned sheepishly.

"OH ok, if you guys don't mind, me and Bella are going to throw these away, we didn't even order them TOODLES" Alice announced. Emmett's face was priceless.

"WHATT?! THEY ARE BRATZ TEAM ROCK BAND STAGE DOLLS THEY ARE ONE OF A KIND!" Emmett screamed. He looked around, "I, err… heard it on the radio, and guys let me throw them away for you." Emmett grasped them and ran off.

EMOV

I grabbed them and ran off. I slid them in my Bratz obsession drawer and ran back downstairs…

**I HOPED YOU LIKED IT, WHO SHOULD ALICE AND BELLA PRNAK CALL NEXT? GIVE ME YOU IDEAS!!!!!!!**

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**I SHALL UPDAT QUICKER IF I HAVE INSPIRATION**


	3. Carlisle Part I

**DISCLAIMER: NOTHING IN THIS CHAPTER IS MINE**

**APART FROM BELLA'S PHONE :p NO I DONT EVEN OWN THAT ******

**OH WELL **

Chapter 3.

1 week after the Emmett incident

BPOV

I woke up to the sound of music. I walked down the stairs to see what was the source of the noise was. As I walked down I saw the scariest sight. Emmett, wearing Rosalie's clothes. I mean a 7ft body building man and huge muscles, wearing black stilletos, and a tube top, with skinny jeans ripped down the sides, by his insane weight. I was speechless. **[A/N can you imagine that scene though, big old Emmett in stilletos? Lol ;P] **I didn't know what to say. I thought I would let him know I was here but first. I sprinted up the stairs to get something, a video camera. I recorded Emmett singing and dancing to Shakira- Hips don't lie. This is So going on youtube. I decided to let him notice my presence. *clears throat*

EMPOV

Oh Godd….

BPOV

Emmett turned around, and sprinted up the stairs, 5 minutes later he rushed back down. "Sorry, about that, Getting out of a bra is hard, I mean what is up with them little straps. I don't know how Rose can do it." He trailed off. HE WORE A BRA. God I swear Emmett isn't a man… Maybe I could check….NO I am happily married (kinda) to Edward. Emmett turned to look at me. I grinned. " So where is Edward?" I questioned. Emmett reached into his pocket.

"Yeah, he told me to give this to you." He said. He thrust a note into my hand. It was crumbled up and covered in chocolate…Wait CHOCOLATE. "Emmett why is this covered in a food you don't EAT?!" I questioned.

"Oh yeah, I was hungry, all that dancing in the heel thinfs, TIRING! So I went in the cupboard and ate stuff." He smiled embarrassed. I unfolded the note;

**Love, **

**I am afraid that Me, Emmett, Jasper have to go**

**shopping with Carlisls, the others have to go shopping,**

**Alice will stay with you though, I'm sorry**

**Much love,**

**Edward x**

"Emmett, why aren't you with them then, and where is Alice?" I questioned. As soon as I finished Alice walked in.

"Don't worry, Bella I am here!" She screeched. Great. Because I really wanted her here. But then last time she looked after me, we had such a great time, pranking people. We should do that again! I had zoned out for a while, because Emmett had disappeared. And Alice was laughing in the background, I turned to look at her. She was watching the tape of Emmett dancing in stilettos, he was going to kill me, oh well.

1 hour later…

"Bella I'm bored can we do something?" Alice wonded, I had a brilliant idea.

" yeah Alice let's prank call someone again." I exclaimed, She smiled

"that's brilliant idea Bella! Who shall we call?" She was grasping the phone ready to dial. I started to think, who should we prank call? Carlisle!

"Alice, Oh oh oh can we please prank call Carlisle!" I screeched.

"Umm, Okay, what shall we say?" I have a brilliant idea!

I dialled his number.

**C**_**arlisle**__Alice and Bella_

_Hello_

_**Hello..? who is this**_

_Hello this is…_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFIE, WHO SHOULD IT BE, IF I GET 2 REVIEWS I SHALL UPDATE TONIGHT. SO REVIEW AND GIVE ME IDEAS ON WHAT THEY SHOULD SAY!**


	4. Carlisle Part II

Prank Calls

Chapter 3

_**Carlisle**__Alice and Bella_

_**Hello**_

_Hello..? who is this_

**Hello this is…**

…_Emmett_

**Oh hey son, where are you?**

_Oh Me and Edward just had to go look for something._

_**I forgot to say I had to go to the hospital for an emergency.**_

_Oh okay, I'll tell the others_

**How it doesn't say on the Caller ID that it's you? **Aww crap, what should I say? Umm think Bella. Emmett is fat. GOT IT

_I sat on it, so I got a new one_

_**Oh so is that why you went off? **_ That works.

_Umm… yeah _

_**Emmett, you sound a bit girlish, are you okay? **_Time to put the plan into action

_Now you mention it Carlisle. I want to tell you something._

_**What…?**_

_I'm gay… _I held in my laughter, Alice however was bursting out, I had to silence her, by smacking her. She winced feigning hurt.

_**Son, WHAT?! I mean are you sure. Because if you are I will support you**_

_Thank you daddy, I feel better now, one more thing I kind of find you attractive---_

_*hangs up*_

"OMG Bella that was awesome!" Alice screeched. We high fived. No let's just wait to see what happens tonight. I grinned evilly

CPOV (Carlisle)

_**Carlisle**__Alice and Bella_

_**Hello**_

_Hello..? who is this_

**Hello this is…**

…_Emmett_

**Oh hey son, where are you?**

_Oh Me and Edward just had to go look for something._

_**I forgot to say I had to go to the hospital for an emergency.**_

_Oh okay, I'll tell the others_

**How it doesn't say on the Caller ID that it's you?**

_I sat on it, so I got a new one _Typical Emmett! And that is why we don't get pets. Well that and we might eat them.

_**Oh so is that why you went off?**_.

_Umm… yeah _Was it me or did Emmett sound really girlish?

_**Emmett, you sound a bit girlish, are you okay? **_

_Now you mention it Carlisle. I want to tell you something._

_**What…?**_

_I'm gay… Ahh Emmett always the joker_.

_**Son, WHAT?**_

_**! **_I looked around hoping no one heard, because I was a highly popular doctor, with 5 beautiful kids, not a doctor with 5 kids, one being gay. I saw Dr Cusson looking at me, I decided to put on the role of a supportive dad

I_** mean are you sure**_. Because if you are I will support you I looked around, doctors were listening to our conversation.

_Thank you daddy, I feel better now, one more thing I kind of find you attractive--- _

Glad to help…WAIT WHAT?! He finds me attractive, I mean yes I am quite attractive but…? WHAT It was too late Emmett, my gay son had hung up.

**[A/N I have nothing against gay people, if I insulted you I am very sorry.]**

_*hangs up*_

**2 HOURS LATER…**

**BPOV**

Emmett had returned. I had dared him to dress as a girl all evening. This would make the prank call more believable for Carlisle. "Hey Bella I'm home."

"your home late." I scolded.

"Yeah I went hunting for and hour, I'm sorry love." It was my angel; I ran up to him, stumbling twice, I then embraced him into a hug, he kissed my temple. "Sorry love I have got to go shower, I am filthy." I then decided I should look at his appearance. He was filthy, he had mud all over him and blood all down hi, and twigs in his hair. However he could pull of that look!

1HOUR LATER

Carlisle walked through the door in his suit. Emmett walked up to him and hugged him. Carlisle looked slightly disturbed. "Oh hey Emmett," He unevenly said,

EPOV

I had just finished hunting with Jasper. I walked through the door. "Hey Bella I'm home." I said

"your home late." She scolded. I gave her my dazzling smile, as she called it

"Yeah I went hunting for and hour, I'm sorry love." She ran up to him, stumbling twice,She then embraced me into a hug, I kissed my temple. "Sorry love I have got to go shower, I am filthy." Bella then decided she should look at my appearance. I was filthy, I had mud all over him and blood all down my shirt, and twigs in my hair.

"Hey Eddie," I turned to see Emmett , in girl's clothes

"Emmett, what… actually don't worry" I said. Carlisle walked in an hour later. Emmett ran and hugged him

_What the… I think he wasn't joking! – _**Carlisle **

Wasn't joking about what? "Oh hey Emmett," Carlisle unevenly said.

"OH Carlisle, nice tie." Emmett squealed _Awkward, I think I need to talk to him. – _**Carlisle**

"Emmett can I talk to you for a moment please." Carlisle said leading Emmett upstairs.

CPOV

Well this is going to be awkward. Emmett made his way up to his room. NO. "Emmett I don't think your room is the best place to discuss this. Let's go to my office." I said soothingly.

Emmett sat down. There was no easy way to say this,

"Emmett, are you really gay?" I said, Emmett burst out laughing.

"Me GAY? I'm happily married to Rose. What would make you think that?" he questioned.

"oh nothing. Don't worry"

BPOV

The plan was going perfect. Emmett walked into Carlisle's office.

5 MINUTES LATER…

"BELLA, ALICE COME UP HER NOWW!" Carlisle shouted. Me and Alice looked at each other. Uh Oh.

**HOW WAS THAT? **

**REVIEW PLEASE IF I GET 4 REVIEWS TODAY I WILL UPDATE TONIGHT! SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **


	5. Jacob Part I

**DISCLAIMER: NO CHANGE, I STILL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. SHAME ISN'T IT? BUT IT BELONGS TO THE WONDERFUL **

**BPOV**

**1WEEK LATER…**

Carlisle soon got over the whole joke thing

**FLASHBACK**

"_BELLA, ALICE COME HERE NOW"_

"_What did you girl's thing you were doing, prank calling me like that?"_

"_We're sorry Carlisle please forgive us." Alice pouted irresistibly._

"_Ok, just make sure it doesn't happen again!" We walked out and laughed. Alice whispered, "Oh yes, it will!" _

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

I woke up, showered, got changed and went downstairs. Edward opened his arms to me. I snuggled into his embrace. Alice came storming down the stairs. "Bella we are going shopping, let's go," Before I could say no I was yanked out of Edward's arms, and was being dragged into her Porsche. I struggled in the seatbelt, but Alice had firmly locked all the car doors. Screw her! I huffed and sat patiently.

Alice dragged me into Victoria secret's and got me some lingerie. I flushed tomato red. She dragged me into all the shops. Alice was determined to get me at least 10 matching outfits. Lucky me. My phone vibrated in my pocket.

**Bella **_Mystery Caller_

_Hello_

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is… Alice._

**What the…**

_EMMET YOU IDIOT, ALICE IS RIGHT NEXT TO HER!! FOR GOD SAKE!_ I recognized that voice it was Carlisle. Oh so they were trying to get us back…

Well they obviously weren't as talented as us!

**Carlisle?**

_Oh hey Bella…_

_*hangs up*_

"Who was that Bella?" Alice asked.

"Oh it was Emmett and Carlisle, trying to prank call me, but they gave it away." I answered. By now we had fitted all 100 shopping bags into the car. Alice began to drive us back home. 30 minutes later we still hadn't arrived, how far had we actually came? I was bored. I had just the game to play.

"Alice can we prank call someone?" I asked, Alice pondered for a minute,

"Sure, why not?" She said. She got out her phone,

"Who should I call?" She wondered. Jasper. No. Edward. NO. Jacob .maybe

"Jacob" I replied smirking. I had the perfect idea.

Alice gave me the phone. "I don't know Mutt's numbers, you dial it." I sighed.

"Speed dial 2" I replied. Alice looked shocked.

"What Edward's first?" I said sounding like a question. Alice still looked upset

"Where am I?" She questioned

"Speed dial 3" I said comfortingly. She pondered for a minute.

"Okay" She shrugged.

I pressed 2, *ring ring ring ring*

*the number you have called is busy*

_**Jacob's answer phone-**_

_**Hey it's Jacob, sorry I can't pick up. Oh well. But if this is Bella, come on over! Anyone else, especially Cullens not invited. Only Bella, it is not an open invite! So yeah leave a message after the beep.. BEEP**_

"Oh he didn't pick up, I'll try again." I said

*ring ring ring ring*

**Jacob **_Alice and Bella_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

**I HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA ON WHAT TO SAY NEXT REVIEW REVIEW!! AND ILL UPDATE TONIGHT!**


	6. Jacob Part II

**DISCLAIMER: AGAIN I DON'T OWN**

**TWILIGHT. NEVER HAVE. NEVER WILL ALL BELONGS TO **

**Chapter 6**

**Dedicated to: Raven Jadewolfe for her wonderful ideas**

**Previously**

**Jacob **_Alice and Bella_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

…_Pet Co. _**[A/N Thanks to Raven Jadewolfe for the name]** _Do you have a pet dog?_

**Well you could say that… **He referrinf to himself. I started giggling, but I quickly gained control, as I realised Jacob was on the other side of the line. "Say something, Bella!" Alice whispered.

_Would you be interested in some flea products? _

**Umm… well yes. I would, I have some fleas now and then.**

_.Fleas? _I started giggling. This was priceless. Not many people can say their best friends have fleas!

**You have fleas? **

_I-I mean my dog…_

**Okay. Do you have any queries? Stop yourself from loosing fur…?**

_Well, now you mention it I- my dog, is starting to lose some fur, is their something I could use to stop it? _Here comes the fun! I winked at Alice.

**Well there is one remedy. It is a very simple mixture.**

_Tell me, how much it is._

**Well it is £35. We can deliver it to you in 15 minutes. **

_Okay thanks, call me back when you deliver it. I'm sure my dog will love it! _I started laughing. Me and Alice raced back to my house, of course it was empty. We ran to the kitchen and started to make the 'remedy'. "We need all these things," Alice said. Alice thrust a note in my hand.

**MUST GET:**

**Flour**

**Lime**

**Pepper**

**Ginger**

**Ketchup**

The final ingredient was, onion.

I feel sorry for Jacob!

2HOURS LATER…

We had finished the mixture and had put it in a bottle, and created a label.

"It's finished Bella, let's go deliver it to him.!" Alice squealed. We made our way to her car, we then drove to the border line.

"Bella, I can't go over the line as you know, so your going to have to do it, we can contact each other through these walkie talkies," She gave me a yellow walkie talkie . I put it in my pocket. "Alice is this face mask necessary?" Alice narrowed her eyes to me.

"Yes it is Bella, it's to make it realistic, now go and put this on the doorstop. And run back here."

Alice **Bella **

Bella, hurry up, Paul is going to come home in 1 minute

**Okay I'm coming, ok I have put it on the step, I am making my way back**

Hurry up. Bye

I ran back, not tripping once. I jumped in the car and we drove back home.

**JacobPOV **

I was sitting down watching football, with Paul and Jared. My phone rung in my pocket. _Who let the dog's out woof woof woof woof._

I looked at Paul and Jared who were laughing their heads off.

"Mature guys, real mature!" I grumbled. I picked up my phone

**Jacob **_Alice and Bella_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

…_Pet Co. _**[A/N Thanks again to Raven Jadewolfe for the name]** _Do you have a pet dog?_

**Well you could say that… **I laughed at my inside joke. So did Paul and Jared.

_Would you be interested in some flea products?_

Wow, I was thinking of getting something to get rid of fleas. Paul and Jared laughed. I walked out the room. Some matters need to be in private. I walked into my room.

**Umm… well yes. I would, I have some fleas now and then.**

_.Fleas? Aww crap, think Jake think._

**You have fleas? **

_I-I mean my dog… _Nice save

**Okay. Do you have any queries? Stop yourself from loosing fur…?**

_Well, now you mention it I- my dog, is starting to lose some fur, is their something I could use to stop it?_

**Well there is one remedy. It is a very simple mixture.**

_Tell me, how much it is._

**Well it is £35. We can deliver it to you in 15 minutes. **Reasonable price I guess. Maybe that's why Bella won't get with me.

_Okay thanks, call me back when you deliver it. I'm sure my dog will love it! _

That sorts my worries.

3Hours later…

My phone rang again. Wow they were quick!

**Jacob **_Bella and Alice_

**Hello…**

_Your delivery has been delivered._

**YESSS **

***hang up***

I ran out and grabbed the bottle.

**NEXT DAY…**

I went to shower, I rubbed the remedy on me.

**AT SCHOOL…**

Everyone was looking at me. So I guess the shampoo smelt nice too.

**RandomPOV**

Jacob smells, bad…! Did he have a explosion in the kitchen?

**JacobPOV**

Why does everyone keep looking at me..?

**I KNOW THIS ONE PROBABLY ISN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS. BUT PLEASE REVIEW. I NEED SOME IDEAS**

**WHO SHALL I CALL NEXT?! **


	7. Mike Part I

**DICSLAIMER: I HAVE BEEN STALKING FOR AGES…BUT STILL NO LUCK I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT *BOOHOO* IM OVER IT NOW!**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

It has been 2 weeks. Jacob never found out why everyone was looking at him.

He called for some more, stuff, but of course the number could not be traced.

I woke up to the sound I most dreaded. Hangers! Alice is here. Stay Calm Bella. In out. In. Out.

"Bella, I know you are awake, your breathing patterns have gone up to 100 a minute, your posture is loose. And I saw your eyes open" She grinned,

"5 more minutes, please" I whined.

"No Bella we don't have time! Come on." Alice said. I fell back asleep.

"Bella wake up, your falling asleep!" She scolded

"No I am not, I just blinking…really slowly." I quipped.

"Just get up." She complained. I got up and went to shower. There was a note on the mirror.

**Love.**

**I'm sorry, but Alice has demanded**

**some quality time with you I tried to get**

**you out of it, but I can't so I will see you this **

**evening. I know it is long but I will miss you a lot. **

**Try to have fun. At least you have Alice, I have **

**Emmett!**

**Love you lots**

**Edward x**

Alice dragged me into her car and we set off to the mall. Fun! When we got there I realised something.

"Alice shopping malls don't open for another hour, what shall we do?" We looked at each other

"PRANK CALL" We exclaimed.

"Who?" I questioned.

"Umm, how about Edward?"

"No"

"Mike?" she suggested

"Yeahh!" I shouted. I don't have his number, so you will have to do it.

"Bella, you do, I added it last night" She grinned mischeviously.

I grabbed my phone, went to my contacts and clicked on Mike.

*ring ring ring ring*

'I'm sorry the person you are trying to call is busy. Please try again. Later'

**Mike's voice**

_**Mike's mom**_

_**Mike's**_** answerphone: Hi it's Mike, sorry I missed your call. I am probably chilling out in my pool, **_WE DON'T HAVE A POOL MIKEY, _**yeah we do, my mum's a bit forgetful. So yeah I might also be chilling in our mansion. **_We live in a shed Mike! Are trying to impress that girl again? Stella is it? _**Bella mom. So drop by if your hot. Bella. **_When will you tell people you are gay hun?_** MUM *ends***

***hangs up***

Me and Alice exploded in laughter. Mike Newton is gay? I knew he was strange.

"Call him back Bella." Alice demanded.

"Okay, okay"

*ring ring ring*

**Mike **_Bella and Alice_

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is…_

**THANK YOU, GIVE ME SOME IDEAS! I WILL UPDATE TONIGHT IF I GET 5 OR MORE REVIEWS SO REVIEW. IF I GET 10 I WILL REVIEW IN 2 HOURS! SO**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIIEW.**


	8. Mike Part II

**DICLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT everything belongs to **

Chapter 8

*ring ring ring*

**Mike **_Bella and Alice_

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is…_

…_Edward Cullen _I giggled

**E-Edward…? I swear, I didn't touch Bella!**

_No Mike, I want to tell you something_

**What… I will stay away from Bella.**

_No, Mike. I want to tell you. I love you _I giggled.

**I thought you loved Bella…?**

_No, not any more, I love you..!_

**So… is Bella free then?**

_Yes…_

**So you wouldn't care if I like went out with her. **He doesn't give up fast!

_MIKE I AM DECLARING MY LOVE TO YOU AND YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH MY EX-GIRLFRIEND? DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY, AS ME?_

**Umm.. well, do you really…love me? **

_Yes!_

**Well…umm, I have always been in love with you, I just asked Bella out to hide it. But don't worry, when it is out in the open we can express our love, together. **Wow. Mike must have been practising them lines. Who would, mike was gay?

_So, do you wanna go out tonight?_

**Yeah sure! **

_Tonight, 8pm, I'll pick you up._

**Okay, Bye Edward Cullen…My lover **He squealed.

I hung up. Me and Alice cracked up laughing. She was holding on the counter for support, she was laughing too much. I however was losing breath fast. Blackness engulfed me. I had fainted.

10 MINUTES…

I woke up.

"Bella finally!" Alice grinned, "I have set everything up, Edward thinks you are at Mike's house so he will pick you up. I'll call him and tell him that you have gone out, he will stay for a bit.

"Ahh, sorry for that Alice, let's get going, we want front seats."

"Bella we are the only ones there, so of course we are going to get front seats!" Alice said. We made our way to Mike's house.

**MikePOV**

I was watching. America's next top model. Nigel Barker. He is good looking! My phone vibrated in my pocket. _I'm too sexy for my shirt, I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy it hurrrrts. _It stopped ringing. Oh I always forget to pick up the phone! It rang again. _I'm too sexy for my shirt, I'm too_

**Mike **_Bella and Alice_

**Hello..? I **asked wondering who it was

_Hello this is…_

…_Edward Cullen _OMG the hottest guy in the world, was calling me. Well after Zac Effron, he is HOTT. No Mike back on task. He is married. I COULD RUIN THAT. No no, I won't. Wait, why was he calling ne, I didn't touch Bella, I wasn't even interested in her!

**E-Edward…? I swear, I didn't touch Bella! **I started to panic. I mean he has got a brother, who is on steroids. Or was two people morphed into one person.

_No Mike, I want to tell you something _

**What… I will stay away from Bella.**

_No, Mike. I want to tell you. I love you _I literally fainted. He loved me? There is a God

**I thought you loved Bella…? **

_No, not any more, I love you..! _Oh My God.

**So… is Bella free then? **I asked. Not that I care

_Yes…_

**So you wouldn't care if I like went out with her.**

_MIKE I AM DECLARING MY LOVE TO YOU AND YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH MY EX-GIRLFRIEND? DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY, AS ME? _So he really did love me?

**Umm.. well, do you really…love me? **I have to make sure, don't I 

_Yes!_

**Well…umm, I have always been in love with you, I just asked Bella out to hide it. But don't worry, when it is out in the open we can express our love, together. **Wow. That was my first time I said I was gay. To anyone but my mother.

_So, do you wanna go out tonight?_

**Yeah sure! **OMG Edward Cullen called me

_Tonight, 8pm, I'll pick you up._

**Okay, Bye Edward Cullen…My lover**

I have to call my best friend. Speed dial 1

*ring ring ring*

_Mike _**Mystery caller**

_Hey CHRIS_

**Hello this is Clinic Health for Residents In Security**

_Hello Mike…again_

**Umm…BFFL, I have just been asked out by Edward Cullen!**

_Your Gay?_

**Yes…**

_*hangs up*_

[A/N I have nothing against gays, so please don't take offence]

Must have had a bad connection.

**2 HOURS LATER…**

I better get ready for my date with Edward. I dressed In a black tux. I waited patiently for Edward to come.

**EPOV**

I was in a rather foul mood, Alice, had forced my fiancé to go shopping. I had been playing on the Xbox, with Emmett, and my phone rang

_Metro Station- Seventeen forever _started to play.

Emmett and Jasper started laughing their heads off.

"Mature guys, Real mature." **[A/N Déjà vu? ] **I picked up my phone,

**Alice **_Edward_

**Hey Edward,**

_Where is Bella?_

**She is at Mike's house. Can you pick her up at say… 8?**

_Yeah sure. _

**She may have gone to the toilet at that excact moment, don't panic, she has some things to sort out, just sit and talk to Mike**

_Okay thanks Alice Bye_

**Bye**

2HOURS LATER…

I made my way to Mike's house.

AT MIKES HOUSE…

*ring the doorbell*

"Hello Edward…" He smirked at me…

"Hi Mike, where's Bella?" I questioned, craning my neck to try and look for her.

"She is not here don't worry, we are alone" he said alone, really weirdly.

_I love him_

He didn't mean me did he? He loves me? That is weird. I knew he was gay! I am flattered, I shouldn't be, I know how persistent he could be.

"Well Mike, I am going to go now…" I said unevenly

"WHAT NOOOOOO… YOU CANNOT DENY THE LOVE WE SHARE!! EDWARDD CULLEN YOU WILL COME BACK ONE DAYYY!!"

I ran off. "No I WON'T MIKE!"

Mike POV

"Well Mike, I am going to go now…" He said unevenly

"WHAT NOOOOOO… YOU CANNOT DENY THE LOVE WE SHARE!! EDWARDD CULLEN YOU WILL COME BACK ONE DAYYY!!"

He ran off. "NO I WON'T MIKE!" And then. The love of my life walked off

He then reappeared.

"I forgot, my car keys…" he bent down. He ran off

"NO EDWARD WAIT!" He screamed running after him. He had disappeared. I might not see him for the rest of my life.

Oh well I'll see him tomorrow…

**WHO SHALL I WRITE NEXT? WHO SHALL I PRANK CALL NEXT. GIVE ME IDEAS!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	9. Charlie Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. ALL BELONGS TO !**

Chapter 9

_Previously_

"_NO EDWARD WAIT!" He screamed running after him. He had disappeared. I might not see him for the rest of my life._

_Oh well I'll see him tomorrow…_

EPOV

Mike hasn't come to school for a while. I wonder why

MikePOV

After I had found out that it was a prank call, I went into hiding, in a top secret hiding place. There was a knock on the door, and it opened. My mum came in, "Mike get out the dog hut! Go to school!" She shouted. I got up and went to school.

2 WEEKS LATER…

BPOV

Mike and Edward never found out about our prank. Even though Edward was suspicious. I woke up to find two notes on my bed.

**Love,**

**I am sorry, but**

**I need to go hunting,**

**Alice has offered to stay behind**

**Miss you**

**I Love you**

**Edward x**

I was a bit upset about that. The second note was from Alice.

**Bella, **

**Edward and the others **

**Have gone hunting**

**So it's just me and you**

**Love**

**Alice **

Great shopping!

I drove down to the Cullen's house. Alice appeared at the front door in a flash. "So what are going to do today?" I inquired.

"We are hang out, first we are going to watch one of mine and Emmett's favourite tv show" She answered. I looked at the tv screen. GOK'S FASHION FIX,

30 minutes later…

"Alice can we do something different?" I begged. Alice paused.

"Okay," She ran to get her phone, I knew what this meant.

"Who shall we call?"She questioned. I grinned evilly and answered sweetly,

"Charlie" Alice smirked, good one

**Charlie **_Alice and Bella_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

**YOU LIKE…? I HAVE A HILARIOS PLAN FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! SO REVIEW, I NEED TO HAVE AT LEAST 5 REVIEWS BEFORE I WILL UPDATE SO, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	10. Charlie Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I STILLL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.**

**TRUUST ME STALKING DOESN'T HELP!**

**Chapter 10**

**Previously**

**Charlie **_Alice and Bella_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

BPOV

…_Dr Carlisle Cullen_

**Oh hey Carlisle **

_Hi so how are you?_

**I'm good thanks, how are you?**

_I'm good thanks, Bella's kinda pregnant…_

**WHAT**

_.pregnant_

**WHAT?!**

_Bella is with child…_

**WHAT?!**

_BELLA HAS ANOTHER HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF HER!_

**.GOD, **

_Yeah, that was my reaction, then I got over it, I think you should too._

**A-are you sure?**

_Yes, unless she has eaten a animal…that is still moving…_

**So who's is it…?**

_Emmett's… _

**I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH EDWARD?!**

_She was, but he wasn't as good at, y 'know, so she moved on_

**I WILL KILL EMMETT…**

_I don't think that is a good idea…_

**Why is he still on steroids…?**

_Yes, I am afraid he is._

**It doesn't matter I can take him,**

_I don't think you can, _Me and Alice were laughing so much.

**I am going to come over now.** As soon as he said that, Emmett walked in.

_NO FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT WANT BRATZ DOLLS! _I shouted and hung up.

"Bratz, ahh Bells, you should of given them my number…" He pouted. Me and Alice eyed him carefully. Emmett smiled nervously,

"I mean I would sort them out for you" He said, unsurely.

I just had to wait 30 minutes, then Charlie would come, ready to beat the hell out of poor, unsuspecting Emmett…

**CharliePOV**

I had just come back from fishing with Billy Black. I stepped in the house. To find a note from Bella.

**Dad,**

**I am spending the day with**

**Alice, I will be back this**

**Evening**

**Bye love you **

**Bells,**

I could not be a prouder dad, My daughter is getting on with her life. And is a responsible adult. My phone ringtone went off. _We're all in this together, once we know---_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is Dr Carlisle Cullen _Oh. Carlisle, he was nice.

**Oh hey Carlisle **

_Hi so how are you? _So polite.

**I'm good thanks, how are you? **

_I'm good thanks, Bella's kinda pregnant…_ I did not hear that…

**WHAT **

_.pregnant _ I could not believe that.

**WHAT?!**

_Bella is with child…_

**WHAT?! **He must think I'm retarded

_BELLA HAS ANOTHER HUMAN GROWING INSIDE OF HER!_

**.GOD, **

_Yeah, that was my reaction, then I got over it, I think you should too._ Get over it?! How can I

**A-are you sure?**

_Yes, unless she has eaten an animal…that is still moving… _Possible…

**So who's is it…?**

_Emmett's… _Emmett, the steroid man.

**I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH EDWARD?! **

_She was, but he wasn't as good at, y 'know, so she moved on_

**I WILL KILL EMMETT…**

_I don't think that is a good idea…_

**Why is he still on steroids…?**

_Yes, I am afraid he is._

**It doesn't matter I can take him,**

_I don't think you can, _Me and Alice were laughing so much.

**I am going to come over now.** I threatened. I knew the crowbar Renee told me to throw away would be put to good use…

Now where was it? I realised I was still on the phone. Bella's voice filled the phone

_NO FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT WANT BRATZ DOLLS! _She must of gotten home. I hung up, and made my way over.

AT THE CULLENS…

I knocked on the door, Esme opened it. She took one look at my crowbar and let me in.

BPOV

As soon as Emmett got changed I charged into his room.

"Emmett the school called today, we are doing a fake pregnancy thing for PSCHE so you are now the baby of my father ok." Emmett looked confused.

"Okay."

Just then there was a knock at the door. It was probably Charlie. Esme went to answer the door, I see he had a crowbar in his hand, Oh Sugar Honey Ice Tea **[A/N Fist letter of each word ****S****ugar ****H****oney ****I****ce ****T****ea=S**t ********]** "WHERE IS HE?!" My dad screeched. Esme looked taken aback. " Who Charlie."

"That imbecile, you call your son!" He explained.

"Emmett," She shouted, he came down the stairs,

"Mom it is depressing that you always think of me as the imbecile, but it might not be me!" Emmett whined, Esme rolled her eyes,

"Was it you Emmett?" She questioned. He looked down to the ground,

"Yes" Charlie advanced forward towards Emmett.

"Why have you got my daughter pregnant?" He shouted

"I didn't mean to! It wasn't my choice, the school forced us!" I giggled. They didn't understand that the other person was talking about a different thing completely. Alice knew as well and giggled quietly.

"YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO!" Charlie said astounded. "How are you going to look after it, feed it, change it, buy things for it," Charlie questioned.

Emmett looked astounded, he turned to face me, "Bella I thought it was made of plastic?" He said. Charlie looked at me dumbfounded,

"This is the father of your baby?!" Charlie screeched, "HIM?! Barney would have been better Bells." He said. Ouch. At least now Edward would look like and angel compared to Emmett.

"Bella give the baby to the school, put it back in the cardboard box, it can live their, who cares if we get a F?" Emmett demanded. Charlie turned purple with rage.

"GIVE IT TO THE SCHOOL?! IT IS NOT THEIR RESPONSIBILITY?! AND MAKE IT LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX, YOU CAN'T JUST PUT A BABY IN A BOX! AND FOR BABIES YOU ARE NOT GIVEN A GRADE." Charlie screamed outrage. "I want you to get an abortion Bella." Charlie declared. Emmett stared at my stomach. "It's in there?" he pointed. Charlie was furious.

"You don't even know where babies are from?! Bella save the baby, have an abortion!" Charlie begged. I decided to break up the fight.

"IM NOT PREGNANT! IT WAS A MISTAKE, IT WAS A CHICKEN I ATE THAT WAS NOT KILLED PROPERLY AND WAS STILL MOVING **[A/N can you imagine that?!]** OKAY SO STOP FIGHTING!!!!" I screeched. Emmett and Charlie, looked embarrassed and Charlie walked out. Muttering "Sorry". Emmett went to his room and Rosalie was sitting on the bed. "So you got Bella pregnant?! Huh?!" Rosalie advanced towards Emmett…

**WAS IT GOOD? WHO SHALL I PRANK NEXT? I NEED AT LEAST 5 REVIEWS UNTIL I DO THE NEXT CHAPTER ******** SO**

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	11. Lauren Part I

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Me:I own twilight**

**Edward: *cough***

**Me: I own a little bit**

***Edward glares***

**Me: OK OK I OWN NOTHING, but I am stephenie Meyers daughter**

**Edward: *cough***

**Me: OK I AM BAND FROM ANY CONTACT WITH HER, I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER.!**

**Chapter 11**

Emmett didn't understand why Charlie was so embarrassed. Charlie rarely comes to the Cullens now, because he is too embarrassed.

It has been 1 week since me and Alice's last prank call. We thought we would stay inconspicuous and wait until we strike again.

I woke up. Edward was next to me with his cool arms around me. I was sure he would hear me stir, but he did not open his eyes. I stood up and went to clean up. I came in and sat on the bed, Edward's eyes were still closed. I kissed his temple and walked out, "Bye," I whispered, sure he would hear. As soon as I said that, he bolted over to me and embraced me in a hug. He delicately kissed my lips, and pulled away much to soon. I sighed, he chuckled. I was about to embrace him again but I was wept away by a strong force. I heard my kidnapper laugh, EMMETT!

"Emmett put me down no!" I demanded. Edward echoed what I had said.

"EMMETT PUT HER DOWN NOW!" Emmett just laughed. Minutes later we were in a darkroom, I looked around, Alice was there too. Emmett looked at me in the eyes. He thought for a minute,

"Okay guys, I know what you are up to" He stated, I was confused. Confused by something Emmett had said. Wow! Is Emmett getting smarter, or am I getting dumber? I think I am getting dumber. He narrowed his eyes.

"Whenever you two are alone, something happens, first me. He looked down, embarrassed by the memory. "then Jacob stinks, Carlisle think I am gay, then Charlie thinks I got you pregnant." He looked at us. Crap we were busted. I glanced at Alice, she was shaking her head vigorously. I shrugged at shot an apologetic glance at Alice, who was still shaking her head. I looked at Emmett.

"You are right, Emmett, a couple of months ago we let fairies escape into our world, they are now causing trouble.!" I said as convincingly as I could. Emmett believed it. I continued. "Now can you please untie me and Alice." I said looking at our handcuffs.

"Okay." He paused, He narrowed his eyes.

"Wait, everyone knows fairies don't exist." He exclaimed Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

"Yeah they do" I lied pathetically.

"No they don't, leprechauns do, but not fairies. I have a theory" He stated, " I think you two have been prank calling people, if you have I am very disappointed." We looked down guiltily. Emmett bounced up and down chanting. "

"CAN I JOIN PLEASE" he begged. I looked at Alice, dubitably

"AWW COME ON I WILL BE GOOD!" He got down on his knees, "I WILL KISS YOUR FEET!" I looked disgusted. I pointed at my shoes, to see if he would do it. He bent down, approaching them.

"You know what I can't, but please let me join!!!!" He said

"Okay Emmett just one thing…" Alice started

"What" He said

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" We both shouted. Emmett looked down.

"I will work on it, CAN WE PRANK CALL SOMEONE NOW?!" He begged.

"Okay" I said I got out my phone.

"Who shall we call?" Alice questioned. I thouht for a minute.

"Lauren" I said simply.

Alice dialled the number

**Lauren **_Bella,Emmett and Alice _

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is…_

**WHAT SHOULD THEY SAY?? GIVE ME IDEAS.**

**AND THE OTHER WILL GET PAYBACK ON BELLA, ALICE AND EMMET LATER ON. GIVE ME IDEAS.**

**HOW LONG SHOULD MY STORY BE?**

**2-3 MORE CHAPTERS?**

**OR SHALL I CONTINUE,.**

**IF YOU WANT ME TO GIVE ME IDEAS! WHO SHOULD THEY PRANK NEXT??? **


	12. Lauren Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. BUT ONE DAY I WILL!**

**I WILL CONTINUE STALKING ( IDONT REALLY) UNTIL**

**SHE GIVES ME TWILIGHT**

**UNIL THEN ITS HERS ******

**SAD I KNOW!**

**Prank Call**

**Previously**

**Lauren **_Bella, Alice and Emmett_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

…_**Gloss Magazine**_ Emmett laughed

**OMG really, why are you calling me?**

_We have looked at you a lot recently_

**Oh cool** **[A/N familiar: a similar reaction someone BELLA gave when someone EDWARD said he watch her SLEEP ********]**

_We are making the latest version the magazine, and we need 1 __beautiful person_

**And that's me****?**

_Yes, would you be interested?_

**HELL YES!...I mean sure…**

_Okay could you please come to the shoot._

**Are you there now?**

_Yes_

**It doesn't seem to loud!** Shoot. Alice shouted OWW I GOT A PAPER CUT! I made useless clicking noises.

_There are, there probably so much, you can't hear_. Who would buy that?

**Oh okay that makes sense** Obviously Lauren!

_SO Lauren, is it__?_

**Yes**

_We could come pick you up at say 6 __tonight_

**Tonight?**

_Yes sorry for the short notice_

**That's ok, great, is there anything I need to know?**

_Well the theme is fluorescent pink_

**Okay.**

_*hangs up*_

"Good one Emmett," I applauded him. Maybe him knowing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Thanks Bella, we need to plan where our fake shoot is!" Emmett exclaimed. Panic struck Emmetts face, "We only have 20 minutes, what happens if we don't make it? O god we need help." hE got all worked up

"CALM DOWN!" I screeched. "Me and Alice will set it up, you just pick her up, and I will text you where we are shooting, ok!" I reasoned. Emmett nodded,

"We need to dress up so she doesn't recognize us. Let's go upstairs, I have brought 3 outfits, two men, and one woman, let's go try them on!" We all rushed upstairs.

5MINUTES LATER

Alice walked down the stairs, I was the first ready, even though they had vampire speed, I picked the tuxedo, I walked up to Alice,

"Hello my name is Giovanni Pizza" I said giggling at my heavy Italian accent.

Alice came and introduced herself.

"Hello I am Peter Pasta." She said shaking my hand.

"Pasta?" I questioned giggling.

"Yes" she said.

"Okay Mr Pasta" I said laughing. " Where is Emmett? EMMETT!!!" Emmett walked down the stairs,

"Why do I have to be the girl?!" He complained. We laughed.

"Shut up now, come and introduce yourself.

"Hello my name is Gemma" Emmett sounded realistically like a girl!

"Maybe Emmett, is a girl!" Alice laughed. Emmett scowled.

"Come on guys let's do this!" I demanded

Emmett walked out,

"Em" I called,

"Yeah?" He questioned. I looked at his phone on the table.

"Take your phone!" I said. Alice laughed. Me and Alice made our way to the 'shoot'.

LPOV

I was watching Americas Next Top Model, trying to get some tips, I mean I was already beautiful, but I wanted to be Rosalie pretty. My phone started vibrating in my pocket. _My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard Damn right…_ I opened it.

**Lauren **_Bella, Alice and Emmett_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

…_**Gloss Magazine**_ OMG!

**OMG really, why are you calling me?**

_We have looked at you a lot recently_

**Oh cool**

_We are making the latest version the magazine, and we need 1 beautiful person_My favourite magazine thought I was hot?!

**And that's me****?**

_Yes, would you be interested?_

**HELL YES!...I mean sure…**I said cooly

_Okay could you please come to the shoot._

**Are you there now?**I wondered

_Yes_

**It doesn't seem to loud!** I then heard someone shout OWW I GOT A PAPER CUT! I then heard clicking noises. Obviously cameras.

_There are, there probably so much, you can't hear_.

**Oh okay that makes sense**

_SO Lauren, is it__? _*swueal they know my name.

**Yes**

_We could come pick you up at say 6 __tonight_

**Tonight?**

_Yes sorry for the short notice_

**That's ok, great, is there anything I need to know?**

_Well the theme is fluorescent pink_

**Okay.**

_*hangs up*_

I jumped up and down. I HAVE TO CALL JESS!

**Jess **_Lauren_

**Hey Lauren you would NEVER believe what just happened, it is amazing**

No wait me first!

**Okay quick though**

I HAVE BEEN HIRED AS A MODEL!

**What magazine**

GLOSS

***Squeal***

**OMG congratulations, no listen right today--- **

*Hangs up*

Sorry Jess but I couldn't care about you right now. I thought.

I ran upstairs and put on my fluorescent pink fairy outfit. I LOOKED HOT! There was knock on the door. I swung it open, a big smile on my face. It was Jess, I frowned.

"Nice to see you too Loo!" She said sensing my upset. I apologize.

"I'm sorry Jess but I mean GLOSS!" We squealed. Jess looked at my outfit.

"So do you like it…?" I questioned

"It's…ummm different…?" She said sounding like a question.

"Oh well you don't know fashion. Now can you go, the limo will be here any moment now." I shooed her with my hand. She walked and got in her car, she was about to drive off. But a limo came. "OMG Jess that's my CAR!!" I screamed. The limo drove straight passed me. I ran after it. "Wait I LIVE HERE!!" I screeched, falling in some mud. Shoot I better go get changed. Too late.

"You must be Lauren I am Susan, a model, I am here to pick you up. Come with me" She led me to her mini. WAIT MINI?! **[A/N No offence mini owners!] **We arrived at the shoot…

As I got there I was greeted by two handsome men. They approached me.

"Hey I'm Giovanni and this is Peter" Giovanni said with a thick Italian accent** [A/N that is Bella and Alice btw] **"Okay, Lauren stand here" Giovanni said pointing to the place with a green screen. I went there.

"What do I do now?" I said.

"Pose" they said. I started posing, doing irresistible pouts

2HOURS LATER…

"That is enough, I don't want to break the camera!" I glared at Peter.

"I mean with your beauty!" He ammened. I glistened. I went home and decided to go on the computer. I clicked on the Forks High website. I was shocked at what I saw.

BPOV

Me and Alice had set up the shoot, I heard Emmett rental mini park outside. I walked up to Lauren, who was wearing an awful outfit. "Hello I am Giovanni and this is Peter." I introduced. "Okay, Lauren stand here" I said pointing to the place with a green screen. I went there.

"What do I do now?" She said.

"Pose" we said. She started posing, doing resistible pouts. Man she knows how to turn off a women!

2HOURS LATER…

"That is enough, I don't want to break the camera!" IPeter declared. We chuckled. Lauren glared

"I mean with your beauty!" Aliceammened. She smirked. We raced home adjusted the pictures, and sent them onto the school website. *click click POSTED*

LPOV

There were lots of pictures of me, in different backgrounds. There was me kissing a fish. Me with hairy armpits. I was fuming!

I looked at the comments: In the last 5 minutes, it had gotten 250 comments.

_OMG is that the Lauren chic from school? Well I guess she aint a chic anymore! _I saw what he was reffering to, it was me with male parts. I WAS FUMING! But who would of stole them from Giovanni, Susan and Peter? I KNOW!

I marched to Mike's house. I crashed open the door.

"MIKE YOU ARE DEAD." I went up to him and punched him in the face. His nose started to bleed.

"Maybe it was right." He said in a quietened whisper. I looked curiously.

"What was right?" I asked

"You are a man" He said. I was outraged.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!" I screeched.

"You punch like one!" He said

**MikePOV**

Darkness overcame me.

**I KNOW IT PROBZ WEREN'T YOUR FAVE BUT I MEAN PLEASE REVIEW, WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE PRANKED NEXT? DO YOU LIKE EMMETT JOINING IN?? 5 REVIEWS AT LEAST BEFORE I CONTINUE!**


	13. Paul Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!**

**Prank Call**

Mike never found out why he got a black eye. Emmett joining wasn't a bad Idea.

I woke up. Edward wasn't near me, I ran to get changed, stumbling a few times. I went to do my hair in the mirror there was a note in the mirror

**Love,**

**Meet me at my house when**

**You awake. Sorry I was not there,**

**Love you**

**Edward x**

I ran to the car and drove to his house

Edward was there ready to greet me by the door. He kissed my cheek.

"Hey, beautiful" I blushed. Emmett's booming laughter filled the room.

"Shut up" I shouted, turning a darker shade of red.

"Come in love" Edward said, I was greeted by Esme and Carlisle. Esme came and embraced me into a hug. "It's been to long Bella, darling," I gave her a weird look. I mean I saw her yesterday! Jeez. I still love her though. I walked into the living room. I laughed as I was the only one living. Everyone looked at me, "What you laughing at." Edward breathed against my neck. I blushed,

"Nothing." I said

"So Bella, some of us need to go with Carlisle to his work place, pick two people, to stay with, love." Emmett and Alice winked at me.

"Alice and Emmett" I said, too quickly. Edward looked disappointed.

"Okay then, Rose, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle let's go." He said as he rushed out. I felt bad. I was about to run after him, but Emmett stopped me.

"Emmett" I whined, he looked at me and winked. I laughed. Who needs Edward when I have my phone I chuckled.

"Are you thinking what I think you are thinking? Alice asked.

"YES" Me and Emmett shouted at the same time.

I got out my phone. And dialled Paul's number.

"Who you calling?" Emmett wondered.

"Paul" I answered.

*ring ring*

**Paul **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

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	14. Paul Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! ALL BELONGS TO **

_**Previously**_

_**Hello…**_

_Hello this is…_

…_AMSFYP _Alice gave me questioning glance. I winked

**What the hell is that?!**

_Anger Management Society For Young Peers_

**Why are you calling me?**

_People have recommended you to us, saying you have 'problems'_

**I do not have an anger problem.**

_I can hear your stress levels rising._

**They are not rising. I DO NOT HAVE A ANGER PROBLEM!!** Paul was getting really angry. Brilliant.

_Would you like a trial run tonight to see if you need our help_

**NO**

_Paul. It seems you have anger problems,_

**HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!**

_Here at AMSFYP we know everything._

**YOU FREAKY STALKER, DO YOU WATCH ME SLEEP OR SOMETHING? **I grinned.

_Only on one occasion!_

**I AM CALLING THE POLICE!**

_How? You are on the phone to us at the moment_

**I will hang up,**

_YOU MUST NOT HANG UP!_ YOU NEED HELP I screeched a little too loudly

**I DO NOT HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS!**

_Can we speak to a close friends of yours?_

**JACOB!! **

**Yeah Hello, Jacob here.**

_Does your friends Paul, have anger problems?_

**Severe ones. Yes**

_Okay thanks, can you put him back on, please_

**Sure, here is the angry spirit in human form!**

_So Sir is there anything you would like to say?_

**Yeah when are the lessons?**

_Every Monday (today)_

**How much?**

_£5_

**How much does an average person take?**

_3_

**I'll take 5 please.**

_Okay, send a film of yourself saying 'hi my name is Paul, and I have an anger problem.'_

**Okay what's the address **I said the first thing that came to my head.

_AMSFYP 13 the anger road _Emmett laughed.

**Okay Bye *hangs up***

Me, Alice and Emmett burst out laughing. We made our way to the boundary line, of course I was alone in this mission.

"Okay Bella, don't worry, you'll do fine!" Alice soothed. I gave her a grateful grin.

"She's right Bells, Just don't think about the fact that if your caught, you probably are dead!" Emmett said. I stared incredulously at him. God he is annoying. I tiptoed up to their house I saw Paul had just finished writing the address he left it on the table. I ran in and picked it up. Without turning back I ran back to the car. Emmett looked proud. I smirked.

**PaulPOV**

I was watching High school musical. I don't normally. It's just that, Claire is here **[A/N Embry's imprint, she is like 2, pretend she still is ] **No, who am I kidding, I am alone. And I like, no LOVE high school musical. I stood up and started singing. STICK TO THE STATUS QUO. Just then my phone went off. I stared at my phone. WHO WOULD CALL ME WHENN I AM WATCHING, MORE IMPORTANTLY SINGING?! Calm Paul. In. Out. In. Out. I looked at the Caller ID it said Unknown. Hmm I wonder who it is.

**Hello…**

_Hello this is AMSFYP _What the…?

**What the hell is that?!**

_Anger Management Society For Young Peers_

**Why are you calling me? **I wondered

_People have recommended you to us, saying you have 'problems' _OMG STUPID PACK!

**I do not have an anger problem. **I argued

_I can hear your stress levels rising _What freaking stress levels?!

**They are not rising. I DO NOT HAVE A ANGER PROBLEM!! **I demanded

_Would you like a trial run tonight to see if you need our help_ FOR GOD'S SAKE!

**NO**

_Paul. It seems you have anger problems, _OMG, they did not just say my name.

**HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!**

_Here at AMSFYP we know everything. _Stalkers

**YOU FREAKY STALKER, DO YOU WATCH ME SLEEP OR SOMETHING? **I grinned.

_Only on one occasion!_ OMG, I look HORRIBLE when I sleep, they should of come when I was working out. Who am I kidding, my weights are collecting dust!

**I AM CALLING THE POLICE! **I threatened

_How? You are on the phone to us at the _moment

**I will hang up,**

_YOU MUST NOT HANG UP!_ YOU NEED HELP They screamed. Weird people

**I DO NOT HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS! **I do. But. Oh well

_Can we speak to a close friends of yours?_ I looked around, only Jacob was here. I guess he would do.

**JACOB!! **I shoved the phone into his hand. He gave me a questioning look. I shrugged.

**Yeah Hello, Jacob here.**

_Does your friends Paul, have anger problems?_

**Severe ones. Yes** I glared at Jacob and tackled him.

_Okay thanks, can you put him back on, please_

**Sure, here is the angry spirit in human form! **I growled

_So Sir is there anything you would like to say?_

**Yeah when are the lessons? **No harm in knowing, is there, they could come in use.

_Every Monday (today)_

**How much?**

_£5_

**How much does an average person take?**

_3 _I better take double then. I do have BIG anger problems.

**I'll take 5 please.**

_Okay, send a film of yourself saying 'hi my name is Paul, and I have an anger problem.'_

**Okay what's the address **

_AMSFYP 13 the anger road _I chuckled. How ironic.

**Okay Bye *hangs up***

I got up a grabbed the camcorder.

RECORD

"Hey I'm Paul and I have an anger problem. I sometimes hit old ladies, if they move too slow. SO yeah. BYE

STOP

I took out the tape and sent it to the address they had given me. I placed in on the table and went to watch the rest of High School Musical.

1HOUR LATER…

I was in a happy mood, High School Musical never bores me. I went to get the tape. It wasn't there. Oh God! That cannot be seen by the public eye. I looked everywhere, no one had seen it.

MONDAY MORNING…

I walked into assembly. There on the computer projector was me. I wonder what I had done?

START

"Hey I'm Paul and I have an anger problem. I sometimes hit old ladies, if they move too slow. SO yeah. BYE

FINISH

Everyone looked at me. I sunk in my chair. OH God. Who would do this to me…?

**BPOV**

I bunked off school to film Paul's reaction. I was brilliant, he went redder than I would!! I ran back to my house and showed Alice and Emmett who were waiting.

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	15. Eric Part I

**DISCLAIMER:**

**EDWARD: Say it…**

**Me: No**

**EDWARD: I will sparkle for you!**

**Me: Okay… I don't own**

**EDWARD: What don't you own?**

**Me: BISCUITS!**

***Edward gives a serious look***

**Me: FINE I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, ARE YOU HAPPY DEAD, SPARKLY VAMPIRE!!!**

**EDWARD: Well I can't say that didn't hurt but YES I AM!**

**Chapter 15**

After the whole Paul incident, 3 weeks ago. Grannies tend to stay away from him. Also, girls, have stayed away from him to. Me, Alice and Emmett, were the best.

MORNING….

As I woke up I got a letter from Edward

**Love,**

**I have had to go hunting**

**I will miss you**

**Bye x**

I went to get changed. I looked on the mirror. There was another note, it was from Alice.

**Bella,**

**Me and Emmett are waiting for you**

**At our homebase (our house)**

**Hurry up and**

**Get here, Emmett is literally **

**eating the phone!**

**Alice x**

I hurriedly got changed, and made my way to their house, in my car. Alice was outside tapping her feet. A frown across her features. I just stuck my tongue out at her. Emmett emerged from nowhere

"I KNOW BELLA DID NOT JUST DO THAT!" He screamed. I looked at him and answered.

"Oh yes I did!" I retorted back.

"Bella, I can't believe it took you this long to get here, I mean it would only take me 5 minutes, not 15!" Emmett whined. I looked at him.

"Emmett, one I SLEEP, and two I am not a vampire." I said. Emmett shrugged.

"So?!" He questioned.

"Well, unlike you I VALUE my life." I said. Alice sighed, and signalled me to come in.

Emmett bounced onto the couch, and grabbed my phone. He immediately started dialling a number.

"Who are you calling??" I questioned. Emmett shushed me, and mouthed, Eric. Oh great.

**Eric **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello…?**

_Hello_

**Bella…? **Desperate much?

_No Eric it's…._

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	16. Eric Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

**BTW CONGRATULATIONS TO TWILIGHT AT THE MTV**

**AWARDS FOR WINNING 5 AWARDS!!!!!!**

**WOOOHOOOO**

**YEAH I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!**

**Previously**

**Eric **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello…?**

_Hello_

**Bella…? **

_No Eric it's…._

_Lauren_

**Lauren…? What do you want?** I heard the disappointment in his voice

_Uh…well I wanted to declare my undying love for you!_

**Me?**

_Yes, you_

**You do know this is Eric…**

_No, I randomly call guys, and tell them I love them OF COURSE I KNOW! _

**Pretty greasy hair. Showers, once every week, that Eric?!** He sounded unsure

_Yes, Eric, all that about you, it turns me on!_

**Really… Well I guess you are no Bella, but, yeah ok…**

_ARE YOU SAYING BELLA IS PRETTIER THAN ME?!_

**Yes. I will make Bella jealous so she would want to be with be,**

_So you are using me?_

**Yes. I hope you don't mind.**

_No. I'm used to it. Boys use me all the time. Your just another one to add to the list. So you don't like me , _I chuckled

**ON the contrary, no. But you are…umm…nice.**

_NICE?! ERIC YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET BELLA, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SETTLE FOR ME! I know Bella is nice, pretty, kind _I started listing all these things, Emmett snatched the phone from me. _AND FAT BUT GET OVER IT_ I slapped him. Hard. My hand began to sting.

**Bella isn't fat she has meaty curves! They are nice.**

_Whatever Eric, if you change you mind, and want to go out with me. Show you love me by following me around at school All the time.._

**Okaay, what about Tyler. He might get angry, he might beat me up. Not that he could.** He could beat Eric up, no sweat.

_ERIC stop complaining, be happy you got a girl! I like people who show their chest, I have noticed you have nice abs. Please come to school tomorrow, with nothing but boxers on. _

**NO WAY!**

_Please. I have heard Bella say she likes boys wearing that. Her last boyfriend. Wore it ALL the time! As soon as he put clothes on. DUMPED! _I slapped Emmett. He was saying I liked men, literally naked. But Edward I guess, is pretty nice naked…. No Bella, clean thoughts.

**Did she say any particular colour?**

_Pink_

**Good thing I have spare pairs of them. **OMG he has PINK boxers **[A/N no offence to anyone who wears pink boxers] **

_Yes it is._

**Any partic---**

_BYE ERIC!_

_*hangs up*_

Me, Emmett and Alice burst out laughing. We couldn't wait to see how school would be tomorrow morning.

**EricPOV**

I was cleaning the dishes singing to the jukebox. I know jukebox we are in 2009, but they are seriously COOL! Anyway my favourite song came on. Love story by Taylor Swift. _We were both young when I first saw you. _I started singing along. My phone rang. _It's raining men. Halleluiah its raining men AMEN. _And some people think I'm GAY! Back on task Eric.Since when do I get phone calls? Bella OMG it could be Bella I rushed to my phone, spilling the washing foam all down me. Great.

**Eric **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello…?**

_Hello_

**Bella…? **I said hopefully

No Eric it's L_auren _What does that girl want?

**Lauren…? What do you want?** She must of heard the disappointment in my voice. I did as well. What did she want. Make up? I had already given her my eyeliner last week! I mean guyliner!

_Uh…well I wanted to declare my undying love for you! _Must of got the wrong number?

**Me?**

_Yes, you _Eric who stalks girls! Actually I don't think many people know that.

**You do know this is Eric… **I checked

_No, I randomly call guys, and tell them I love them OF COURSE I KNOW! _Would make sense.

**Pretty greasy hair. Showers, once every week, that Eric?!** I sounded unsure

_Yes, Eric, all that about you, it turns me on!_

**Really… Well I guess you are no Bella, but, yeah ok… **I voiced out loud.

_ARE YOU SAYING BELLA IS PRETTIER THAN ME?! _Clever Eric

**Yes. I will make Bella jealous so she would want to be with be,** Clever again Eric

_So you are using me?_

**Yes. I hope you don't mind.**

_No. I'm used to it. Boys use me all the time. Your just another one to add to the list. So you don't like me, _thought so

**ON the contrary, no but you are…umm…nice.**

_NICE?! ERIC YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET BELLA, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SETTLE FOR ME! I know Bella is nice, pretty, kind _ Lauren started listing all these things, _AND FAT BUT GET OVER IT_ fat. Bella Fat?!

**Bella isn't fat she has meaty curves! They are nice. **I defended

_Whatever Eric, if you change you mind, and want to go out with me. Show you love me by following me around at school All the time.._

**Okaay, what about Tyler. He might get angry, he might beat me up. Not that he could.** Who am I kidding, he could KILL me!

_ERIC stop complaining, be happy you got a girl! I like people who show their chest, I have noticed you have nice abs. Please come to school tomorrow, with nothing but boxers on. _Boxers?!

**NO WAY!**

_Please. I have heard Bella say she likes boys wearing that. Her last boyfriend. Wore it ALL the time! As soon as he put clothes on. DUMPED! _So Bella likes it all hanging out. No wonder she doesn't go for me! Edward probably strips all the time…that would be nice. NO ERIC YOU ARE NOT GAY!

**Did she say any particular colour? **Must be Perfect

_Pink_

**Good thing I have spare pairs of them. **I just had to wear my pink boxers this week.

_Yes it is._

**Any partic--- **I started I was cut off

_BYE ERIC!_

_*hangs up*_

I decided to call Tyler to rub it in his face

**Tyler **_Eric_

_Hey Tyler, Lauren loves me! Not you_

**What…?!**

_Please don't kill me. *hangs up*_

**EdwardPOV**

SCHOOL MORNING

Bella, Emmett and Alice have been acted weird this morning I wonder why. I started reading people's thoughts.

_What is Eric doing, there is more meat on a skeleton!_

_What the hell is that boy doing?_

_And he thinks he can get Bella._

_Is it me or is Eric following me…_

_Toothpick legs!_

I turned to see Eric in bright pink boxers with red hearts, and topless.

**[A/N sorry bout the shortness of EPOV but I wanted you to know what people were thinking]**

**EricPOV**

SCHOOL NEXT DAY…

Every second of the day I followed Lauren around. I came to school in my boxers and bare chest, but the head teacher told me to get changed! By lunch Lauren was pissed… I wonder why. She was walking to her locker, I followed, she turned around. I smiled a toothy grin. She lost it,

"ERIC WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME AROUND. YOU CRAZY STALKER!!!!!!!!!" I looked taken aback.

"I thought you loved me" I said downhearted. She looked at me incredulously,

"ME, LOVE YOU, girls with asses like mine, don't date guys with faces like yours! **[A/N that was from She's the Man]** I walked off embarrassed and ashamed.

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	17. Esme Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THWILIGHT. SOME MAY DREAM. BUT WE DON'T DOES.**

**I LOVE TAYLORLAUTNER!!!**

**BUT I DON'T OWN HIM EITHER ******

**LIFE IS HARD!**

**Chapter 17**

Lauren was pretty pissed of with Eric for the whole week.

**SATURDAY MORNING…**

I woke up in Edward's arms. He kissed my temple. Next week was our anniversary. I woke up. Edward tried to kiss me on the lips. I shook my head and muttered, "morning breath" He frowned, but he chuckled. I got up and got changed. I made my way to my bed. Edward had disappeared.

I went to my bed, there was a note.

**Bella,**

**If you want your precious**

**Edward back, come to our **

**House. And join me and Alice**

**In you know what.**

**Emmett**

I knew what. You know what was. But I'm sure if anyone else read it they would think different. I giggled. I threw on some clothes and drove to the Cullen's. Emmett was outside. I went up to him,

"Where is Edward?" I questioned, whining. Emmett shook his head.

"No Bella, you won't get Edward back until you help me and Alice do you know what.." He said. I saw Edward in the room. I ran over to him. He looked at me, sincercly,

"Bella, you aren't cheating on me with Emmett AND alice are you?" He questioned, his voice broke. I shook my head vigorously.

"Of course not Edward I love you! And anyway, if I was it would be with some much better, not them" I looked at Alice and Emmett. "No offence" I added. Emmett nodded,

"It's ok," Alice looked shocked.

"OFFENCE TAKEN, am I not good enough for you?!" She screeched.

"Umm…Alice I am not a lesbian, so you know." Alice shook her head.

"What if I were a man?"

"Well you would look a lot like a girl!" I said laughing. Alice scowled. She grabbed my arm and dragged me inside. Edward was still tied up, but he managed to break free. He sprinted off. WAIT he didn't think to save me?! Idiot! Well, handsome idiot! I screamed mentally.

Emmett sat on the couch bouncing up and down. He dialled a nuber.

"Who are you calling." I whispered. Alice shed me.

"Esme," He replied

*ring ring*

**Esme **_Emmett, Bella and Alice___

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFIE! REALLY SORRY**


	18. Esme Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!**

_**Chapter 18**_

_Esme _**Bella, Emmett and Alice**

_Hello…?_

**Hello this is**

…**Garden Makeover**

_Umm….God What do you want? Has Emmett nicked some plants or something?_ Emmett looked down, ashamed. Me and Alice looked at him. We giggled.

**NO! We were wondering if you would like a garden makeover?** I looked at Emmett with a questioning glance. He shrugged.

_Um…me?_ _Well my garden is pretty good. But ok. _

**Ok when is a good time for you?** Emmett questioned. This must be THE worst prank call Ever! I groaned.

_Umm…what about tomorrow, then I can claim I did it to my kids!_ We blinked.

**But you can't claim you did it, after?! It would be our wonderful work! I SHALL NOT LET YOU CLAIM THIS!** Emmett screeched. Me and Alice looked at him, shocked.

_O-okay, I was only joking!_

_It didn't sound like you were joking! Jeez people these days. So when is a good time for you then? _Emmett paused.

**Tom—**

_Tonight GREAT._

**What about tom—**

_WE WILL DO IT TONIGHT OK! Make sure you are out of the house though._

**Why..?**

_So it will be a surprise when you get back_. Emmett winked at us.

**Ok, I will be gone from 3 to 12 that enough time?**

_Don't you need sleep? Or are you a zombie? _

**You could say that. Could you do it in that much time?**

_I will work my magic._

**Do you have any idea on how I can make my geraniums grow faster?**

_What the HELL are they?! _We slapped Emmett, great now she will know it isn't us.

**Oh Jamie, always the jokster**. Phew

_That's me, Jamie_. Emmett looked clueless.

**No Seriously**. Emmett looked at us begging in his eyes. We shrugged.

_Put magic bean in them?_ He suggested.

**I will try that** Esme said undobtily. I looked at Emmett. Magic beans?!

_Ok, bye_

**NO ONE MORE QUESTION!**

_*hangs up*_

"What do we do now Emmett?" I questioned.

"We wreck her garden" Me and Alice looked awestruck. We shook our heads vigorously.

"No way, if Esme catches us. We are DEAD!" Emmett pouted.

"Fine I'll do it by my self." He said looking down.

"Sorry, Em but if we get caught. SOME of us aren't immortal." I said pointed out. He chuckled.

"We could change that, you know!" He said edging closer. I screeched.

"EMMETT!!!" I said running around the room. He looked at me innocently.

"Don't you trust me" He said

"No" I said bluntly. Alice laughed, I joined in. Emmett stared and ran off to do his plan.

"Alice, should we watch in the bushes?" I questioned she nodded her head. We ran out back, and hid in the bushes, watching silently.

**EsmePOV**

I was in the hospital with Carlisle, keeping him company. My phone began to ring. I picked it up.

_Hello…?_

**Hello this is Garden Makeover**

_Umm….God What do you want? Has Emmett nicked some plants or something?_ I said annoyed with my son. Again

**NO! We were wondering if you would like a garden makeover?** ARE THEY SERIOUS!

_Um…me? Well my garden is pretty good. But ok. _I squealed. The patients looked at me. Great now they think I have problems.

**Ok when is a good time for you?** Tommorrow, I don't think anyone is home

_Umm…what about tomorrow, then I can claim I did it to my kids!_ I voiced out loud. Oopsie.

**But you can't claim you did it, after?! It would be our wonderful work! I SHALL NOT LET YOU CLAIM THIS!** The person screeched. I flinched back.

_O-okay, I was only joking! _I said laughing lightly

_It didn't sound like you were joking! Jeez people these days. So when is a good time for you then? _

**Tom— **I was cut off

_Tonight GREAT._

**What about tom— **I tried again

_WE WILL DO IT TONIGHT OK! Make sure you are out of the house though._

**Why..?**

_So it will be a surprise when you get back_. Makes sense

**Ok, I will be gone from 3 to 12 that enough time?**

_Don't you need sleep? Or are you a zombie? _You could say that. I laughed at my joke

**You could say that. Could you do it in that much time? **If they catch on that I am a vampire, I will blame Emmett, he is always the one that is most likely to blow the secret.

_I will work my magic._

**Do you have any idea on how I can make my geraniums grow faster?**

_What the HELL are they?! _Nice joke!

**Oh Jamie, always the jokster**. I giggled.

_That's me, Jamie_..

**No Seriously**.

_Put magic beans in them?_ MAGIC BEANS?!

**I will try that**

_Ok, bye_

**NO ONE MORE QUESTION!**

_*hangs up*_

I stayed at the hospital until 7 and left to do some grocery shopping for Bella. I saw Carlisle, Edwar, Rosalie and Jasper outside the house. I went up to them.

"Hey Esme!" Rose called. I smiled in return. They all walked in. I however started to unpack the groceries.

BPOV **[A/N sorry for shortness]**

2HOURS LATER…

Emmett was now singing along to 'My Humps- by Black Eyed Peas'. He had made lots of holes in the garden, uprooted every plant, and the green grass was all brown, thick with mud. Emmett might not survive this! I heard a voice at the door.

EMPOV

I had successfully uprooted EVERYTHING. Plan complete. I stood and admired my work. I looked at the mud hill, walked up to it and placed a dead dandelion on it. I heard a ruffle in the bushes. Bella and Alice came stumbling out.

"Alice! Why push me?!" Bella screeched. They looked at me,

"Oh hey Emmett, we just got there, it's not like we were there the whole time, watching you, slowly edge closer to your death" Alice said grinning sheepishly. I looked shocked.

"You wouldn't help your dear brother. Guys I am ashamed." I said.

"Anyway look at my final result what do you think?!" I said doing jazz hands, Alice replied.

".God. .Dead!" She said. I shot her a glance. Alice shoved Bella on her back and they sprinted off.

"EMMETT WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!" I turned around. OH god. It was Carlisle, Edward, Rosalie and Jasper. Alice and Bella appeared behind them. Traitors. They grinned at me.

"Well, umm, there was a mole invasion." I said.

"In our garden?" They questioned.

"Yes." Esme walked in. I sprinted into the crowd, She looked livid.

"WHO ON EARTH DID THIS??!!" Everyone looked at me. Traitor. Edward read my mind and laughed. I ran. I don't know where, maybe Mexico. No to close.!

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	19. Edward Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ALL BELONGS TO .**

**Chapter 19**

After Esme found Emmett, he went missing. We think he went to find his missing limbs. After 3 weeks he had managed to find them all. Esme was not as angry anymore, because while she was killing Emmett, we transformed her garden back again. So animals could actually come without dying.

Today was me and Edwards anniversary. I woke up, in his stony cold arms. I ran to get a shower. I got dressed. Edward drove me down to his place. Emmett greeted us. They all had presents for us. After opening all their presents Edward whisked me off, but before Emmett and Alice grabbed me. "Give her back you two" Edward growled.

"Edward don''t worry I'll meet you in the car." I replied soothingly.  
"Okay" He said, Emmett looked at me.

"So your not going to help us prank call anyone today?" Emmett said. I shook my head,

"It's mine and Edward's anniversary, I don't want to spend it prank calling people. Like in 20 years time. Hey Edward do you remember our first anniversary when we prank called people. Yeah that was brilliant." I said mockingly. Alice nodded

"Fine me and Alice, the loyal ones will have fun WITHOUT YOU, won't we Alice." Emmett pouted. Alice shook her head,

"You know what I think I will spend the day with Jazzy, I have been spending WAY too much time with you, it's starting to rub off." Alice chuckled. Emmett crossed his arms and pouted,

"Fine, I don't need you guys. You just slow me down!" He screeched. I made my way to the car. Edward was closing his eyes.

"Edward, what you thinking about?" I questioned. He opened his bronze, hypnotizing eyes and answered,

"You" I blushed.

30 MINUTES LATER…

We had reached our destination. We hiked for about 5 minutes, quite fast for me. who was I kidding? Edward carried me. I thought in my head. We came to a stop at a cliff edge. Edwards phone began to ring. His ringtone was Seventeen Forever, typical Emmett. I sighed, Edward picked up his phone. It won't be Emmett, would it?

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

Yes it was. I should warn Edward. Actually maybe we shouldn't!

**SORRY BOUT THE CLIFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REVIEW REVIEW**


	20. Edward Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT… **

**I HOPE YOU LIKE**

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

Yes it was. I should warn Edward. Actually maybe we shouldn't!

**Emmett **_Edward _

…**Volvo **Car Company

_What…?_ Is this the best Emmett could do? I giggled, Edward looked at me. I shook my head. He looked away

**We were wondering, would you like an upgrade on your car?** Edward looked at me, I shrugged, attempting to look innocent.

_Yeah._

**Would you like to order…?**

_Um… yeah, _

**Any particular colour, type or design…?**

_Umm, can you put another coat of silver, blue stripes, and VOLVO painted on the side._

**Okay. So car painted in pink, light pink striped, and GAY painted on the side. Anything else? **WHAT?! Probably a joke.

No.

**Nothing else. OK**

_Nothing else ok_

**NO I DON---**

_YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG!_

**What wrong?**

_Oh don't worry. That's it thanks .When will you do it…?_

**How about now?**

_Okay. Shall I drop off my keys at the shop…?_ I felt really bad,

**No, we have them.**

_OH MY GOD. YOU STALKER!!!!!!! I WILL HANG UP!_

**Fine**

_No actually I won't, how much will it cost…?_

**Umm… £30**

_Wow, that is cheap!_

**Oh, is it? I meant £300.** I laughed. Edward looked at me, questioning my sanity. I shook my head, again.

_You can pick up my car, how about---_

**TONIGHT! GOOD**

_Well I was thinking---_

**TONIGH---**

_Well, I can't really _

**DO YOU WANT TO GET YOUR CAR DONE OR NOT?!**

_Umm… well I won't be home tonight._

**Getting busy…?** I blushed. Edward growled

_I think it is not your business!_ Edward screeched. I giggled.

**Well, I shall drop it off to your house. I shall give it to your hunk off a brother.**

_He isn't that hot… _

**YESS HE IS!**

_Not really. He washes like once a week!_

**I BELIEVE THAT HE IS VERY GOOD LOOKING!**

_Anyway… I will be out so yeah. So if you can—_

***hangs up***

I crawled into Edwards lap. We walked over to a spot. We laid down, in each other's arms, comforting each other.

EmmettPOV

Alice and Jasper had gone. I was all alone. No one was there to help me. I was all alone. I pouted. Rose had even gone. I rushed upstairs and picked up my phone. I dialled Edward's number. Time to put my prank to action. I will show Bella and Alice I could do it without them!

**Emmett **_Edward _

…**Volvo Car Company **This idea is legendary! I thought

_What…?_

**We were wondering, would you like an upgrade on your car?**

_Yeah _Brilliant_._

**Would you like to order…?**

_Um… yeah, _

**Any particular colour, type or design…?**

_Umm, can you put another coat of silver, blue stripes, and VOLVO painted on the side._

**Okay. So car painted in pink, light pink striped, and GAY painted on the side. Anything else? **I said

No.

**Nothing else. OK**

_Nothing else ok_

**NO I DON---**

_YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG!_

**What wrong?**

_Oh don't worry. That's it thanks .When will you do it…?_

**How about now?**

_Okay. Shall I drop off my keys at the shop…?_ I felt really bad,

**No, we have them.**

_OH MY GOD. YOU STALKER!!!!!!! I WILL HANG UP!_

**Fine**

_No actually I won't, how much will it cost…?_

**Umm… £30 **I guessed. Sound reasonable.

_Wow, that is cheap!_

**Oh, is it? I meant £300.** I amended

_You can pick up my car, how about---_

**TONIGHT! GOOD**

_Well I was thinking---_

**TONIGHT**

_Well, I can't really _

**DO YOU WANT TO GET YOUR CAR DONE OR NOT?!**

_Umm… well I won't be home tonight._

**Getting busy…?** I could imagine Bella blushing I heard Eddie boy growl

_I think it is not your business!_ Edward screeched. I laughed

**Well, I shall drop it off to your house. I shall give it to your hunk off a brother. **I said smiling broadly

_He isn't that hot… _My mouth hung open.

**YESS HE IS!**

_Not really. He washes like once a week! _I was insulted. I wash TWO times a week!

**I BELIEVE THAT HE IS VERY GOOD LOOKING! **I said in my defence

_Anyway… I will be out so yeah. So if you can— _I hung up

***hangs up***

I went to get ready for the trick. I ran to the shop and brought. Pink paint, and balloons, and pink marker pens.

30 MINUTES LATER…

I had finished my masterpiece.

Edward's car had now been totally redone. It had. Pink balloons on his wing mirrors, pink paint covered it. In pink marker pen I had written 'HONK IF YOU THINK I AM HOT' Across the car. Edward would kill me. I had to make a quick phone call.

**Hello Crane company…**

**EPOV**

Me and my angel had been laying down for what seems like hours. We walked for about 5 minutes. We had reached a diner. Bella order some dinner, while I watched in astonishment. How did I deserve such a beautiful creature? I stared at her.

She blushed self-consciously. I smiled her favourite crooked smile. This causes her to blush more. I decide to release her from my powerful gaze. She continued to eat her mushroom ravioli and Coke **[A/N familiar] **When she had finished I took her to a beautiful spot, I laid down a blanket, and she curled up to me. I love Bella. Bella fell asleep. I looked into the valley, there was a car, covered in pink, a Volvo. I laughed. Bella stirred. I tried to get her back to sleep, but she got up.

"Edward, why did you laugh?" She questioned. Confusion crossing her face. I pointed to the car suspended in the air.

"Some prankster has someones car in the air, and has given a complete makeover. I would hate to be that guy!" I said. Bella looked at me doubtfully. I looked at the number plate **S3Xi CUL3N** OMG it was my car **[A/N I know Edward wouldn't have that as his number plate but you know ********] **I ran home with Bella on my back.

Mission: KILL EMMETT!

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**TELL ME WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHAPPY.**


	21. Aro Part I

**DISLCAIMER: IF I WAS OR I DID OWN TWILIGHT, DO YOU THINK I WOULD WRITE THIS?! I THOUGHT NOT, I DON'T OWN THIS.**

**Chapter 21**

Emmett had been missing for days now. I don't know where he has gone. I am a bit worried. It shows that prank calls should not be done without Bella and Alice supervision, especially if you have a mental age of 3 (Emmett).

Emmett had finally returned after 5 days, everyone was wondering where he had been, he just shrugged. Me and Alice-well mostly Alice- dragged him into his room for interrogation,

"Did, you tell Edward, about our mischiefs?" I questioned. He shook his head.

"Are you sure? Because if you did we would hav-" He cut Alice off.

"I DIDN'T OKAY! NOW CAN WE PLEASE DO SOMETHING!" He screeched. I nodded,

"What, as long as it is not life threatening sure."

"Well I wouldn't be too sure, because it probably is." Me and Alice shook our heads vigorously,

"No Emmett, but out of curiosity what did you want to do."

"Prank call someone," He said,

"How is that life threatening?" He smiled,

"Because we are going to prank call Aro," He grinned sheepishly. I backed away, scrambling for the door.

"No way Emmett, Aro already hates me. I do not need him to have another reason! NO WAY" I kept repeating. Alice was bouncing up and down.

"That is a brilliant idea Em. Let's do it. Hopefully he won't find out it is us."

"Do you have his number?" I questioned, giving in.

"No, Carlisle does, let's use his." We got Carlisle's phone and found Aro's number. We stupidly pressed 'dial'

**Hey Carlisle my good friend**

_Aw crap_

_*hang up*_

I forgot he has Carlisle's number! Let's use my phone. We copied his number down.

**Aro **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello… Carlisle?**

_No this is…_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY, I NEED REVIEWS, WHAT SHOULD THEY SAY?!**

**I AM PLANNING FOR ALL OF THEM TO GET PAYBACK ON ALICE, BELLA AND EMMETT AT THE END? SHOULD THAT BE SOON.?**

**SHOULD I END THE STORY AFTER AROS PRANK CALL, OR DO YOU WANT MORE. REVIEW AND TELL ME THANKX**


	22. Aro Part II

**DISCLAIMER: IF I DID OWN TWILIGHT I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS**

**ALL BELONGS TO **

**Chapter 22**

**Hey Carlisle my good friend**

_Aw crap_

_*hang up*_

I forgot he has Carlisle's number! Let's use my phone. We copied his number down.

**Aro **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello… Carlisle?**

_No this is…_

…_Dress Company_

**Oh, you must need Jane**

_No, I am looking for Mr Arrow Volturay_ I laughed, Emmett sure knows how to piss of A member of the Volturi guard.

**It is ARO VOLURI**

_Volutaray?_

**VOLTURI, pronunciate women! **

_I am a man_

**Don't sound like it!**

_Mmhmm_

**Anyway, why did you call and start this pointless conversation? **I giggled

_Well, I called to tell you that your dress is being delivered_

**What dress…? **

_The dress you ordered from us_

**Im a man!**

_Yes, don't worry we sell to drag queens._ Me and Alice were laughing, alot

**I'm not a drag queen!**

_Don't worry, the first step is admitting it. It is common to deny it. _

**I am not a drag queen, or am I gay**

_Well, we know that you wear girl's clothes, don't deny it_

**Fine fine, maybe I have once or twice **OMG Aro has worn girl's clothes before! Me and Alice had to leave the room we were laughing so much. We entered a couple of seconds later.

_Really, just once? _

**Okay, Maybe I do it on a regular basis**

_Really... So do you know what your dress look like?_

**Is it the one with red sequins, and a V neck?**

_Yes_

**But the lady said it was sold out!**

_It is _Oh Emmett is soo clever. I said rolling my eyes

**Then why have you got one left **Emmett looked around, begging for help. Me and Alice, looked away, pretending not to notice.

_It was…but you got the last one…yeah that works!_

**Ok, that's good**

_So, what made you turn into a trannie?_

**Trannie?**

_Tranvestite_

**Oh, I'm not, I just find pleasure as dressing as a women. **Me and Alice were holding on the counter for support

_Sure…_

**What it's not my fault I HAVE AN HOURGLASS SHAPE**

_Okay_

**SOME MEN ARE JUST BUILT FOR WOMEN CLOTHES! OKAY ARE YOU HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE MADE ME ADMIT MY SEXUALITY?! **Me and Alice were laughing so much. I was loosing breath, I was laughing so much.

_Well I didn't make you soo…_

**YES YOU DID**

_No I didn't, but anyway could you dress in your favourite dress as we come and deliver it to you?_

**Why…?**

_So we can…umm…see what you look like. _

**I'll tell you, dreamy brown hair, bloody red eyes. Slim, [A/N I know that aint what he looks like but just go along with it]**

_Well, we would love to see that in REAL life_

**Okay, I will wear my- I mean Jane's blue dress, do you know why?**

_No, but I am sure you are going to tell me anyway!_

**It matches my complexion**

_*hangs up*_

Emmett looked at us. "Okay guys lets go,"

"Where?" I questioned confused. Alice looked into the future. She smiles,

"amazing." She whispers. I look at her,

"Anyone want to fill me in?" Emmett grinned

"We are going to Italy!!!!!!" We squealed.

"Okay" We creaped out and went to the airport.

ON THE PLANE…

Edward called me

**Bella, where are you? **

_I am on a plane_

**Where…?**

_Italy _I said nervously

**ITALY?! Are You Crazy! **

Emmett took the phone and hung up. I screeched, "Emmett?!" Alice just laughed,

"we don't need any distractions"

**AroPOV**

I was hunting with Jane and Felix. I had just sucked dry a human, it tasted pretty nice. My phone started to ring. _I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt…It hurtsss…_ I looked at the Caller ID. It was Carlisle. I picked it up.

**Hey Carlisle my good friend**

_Aw crap_

_*hang up*_

What was that about? I wondered. Jane and Felix looked at me. I shrugged.

"Dunno" My phone rang again. I read the Caller ID, it read unknown. I picked it up

**Aro **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello… Carlisle?**

_No this is……Dress Company _Why would the dress company call me?

**Oh, you must need Jane **I assumed. But I hoped it was for me.

_No, I am looking for Mr Arrow Volturay_ I scowled, how dare they say my name wrong.

**It is ARO VOLURI **I corrected

_Volutaray?_

**VOLTURI, pronunciate women! **I said losing my temper

_I am a man_

**Don't sound like it! **

_Mmhmm_

**Anyway, why did you call and start this pointless conversation? **I wondered

_Well, I called to tell you that your dress is being delivered _OMG are they talking about THE dress? I hope so

**What dress…? **I said sounding indifferent

_The dress you ordered from us_

**Im a man!**

_Yes, don't worry we sell to drag queens._ Drag queen?!

**I'm not a drag queen!**

_Don't worry, the first step is admitting it. It is common to deny it. _

**I am not a drag queen, or am I gay**

_Well, we know that you wear girl's clothes, don't deny it_

**Fine fine, maybe I have once or **twice I wasn't really comfortable with telling people this, I could always kill them if it gets out of hand

_Really, just once? _I might as well tell them everything.

**Okay, Maybe I do it on a regular basis**

_Really... So do you know what your dress look like?_

**Is it the one with red sequins, and a V neck? **Wow that sounded really gay.

_Yes_

**But the lady said it was sold out!**

_It is _What??

**Then why have you got one left **

_It was…but you got the last one…yeah that works!_

**Ok, that's good**

_So, what made you turn into a trannie?_

**Trannie?**

_Tranvestite_

**Oh, I'm not, I just find pleasure as dressing as a women. **

_Sure…_

**What it's not my fault I HAVE AN HOURGLASS SHAPE**

_Okay_

**SOME MEN ARE JUST BUILT FOR WOMEN CLOTHES! OKAY ARE YOU HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE MADE ME ADMIT MY SEXUALITY?! **I looked around, Felix and Jane were looking at me weirdly. I grinned sheepishly. I mouthed. Im not gay. They started laughing

_Well I didn't make you soo…_

**YES YOU DID**

_No I didn't, but anyway could you dress in your favourite dress as we come and deliver it to you?_

**Why…?**

_So we can…umm…see what you look like. _

**I'll tell you, dreamy brown hair, bloody red eyes. Slim, [A/N I know that aint what he looks like but just go along with it]**

_Well, we would love to see that in REAL life_

**Okay, I will wear my- I mean Jane's blue dress, do you know why?**

_No, but I am sure you are going to tell me anyway!_

**It matches my complexion**

_*hangs up*_

They just hung up. When we went home it was empty.

"Jane, Felix, go hunt!" I demanded. They looked at me strangely.

"We just did." "Must be old age" Jane whispered. I growled

"Well you still look hungry GO" I shouted

"No" They protested.

"Fine, go play in the garden or something." I said, They looked at me incredulously.

"What are we, eight?!" Felix exclaimed. I shrugged. They ran off, much to my surprise. I sprinted to my wardrobe, activated the secret door and went into my second closet it was filled with all types of dresses, I put in my favourite one, Blue.

2 HOURS LATER…

I had been sitting in the living room for hours! The bell rang. I went out and saw a brown package it was addressed to me. I ripped it open, I must burn the evidence. I burned the brown address label. I heard a rustle in the bushes *Click*. Oh God no…

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY… **

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	23. Jasper Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

** DOES **

**Chapter 23**

Afer we had the picture of Aro in a dress, we had sent it to every vampire in the world. Now people won't fear him. Although when we got home Edward, Jasper and Rosalie had a go at us, it was worth it. I had just woken up, there was someone bouncing on my bed. Oh god please don't be…

"Bella, I'm sorry did my enthuastic jumping wake you, I am sorry" Emmett screamed. Alice ran in and shoved Emmett on the ground.

"Shut up guys, Charlie," I moaned. Alice laughed,

"Charlie left hours ago, he left a note, here." I groggily sat up. I started to read the note:

**Bells,**

**I am really sorry but I have gone**

**Fishing early, you won't be awake, i**

**Will be back this evening, don't worry**

**About cooking. I will order, I might be in late**

**About 10ish**

**Love,**

**Dad**

I sighed and went back to bed.

"BELLAAA WAKE UPP" Emmett whined. I glared at him, I really was not in the mood for his child like games.

"What Emmett," I said. I was drifting back to sleep.

"BELLA, DON'T YOU DARE SHUT THEM EYES ON ME WAKE UP." He slapped me, not hard, but it hurt. My cheek had turned red. I ran into the bathroom.

"Emmett, why would you do that?" I went to the mirror, there was a note on it:

**Love,**

**I have to go hunting with**

**Alice and Carlisle**

**See you tonight,**

**I will miss you**

**Love**

**Edward**

I sighed, I clutched the note to my chest. I soon fell asleep.

**EmPOV**

Bella had been ages in the bathroom, I mean I didn't hit her THAT hard. Jeez. I walked into the bathroom. Bella was curled in a corner. SHE WAS NOT… "AW HELL NO" I screeched. Alice came running in.

"What?" Alice came in and asked. I pointed to Bella. Alice looked shocked, "Oh, no Bella is sleeping, someone arrest her!" She said, I picked up my phone and began to call 999, "Hello, what's the emergency?" A voice questioned, Alice slapped me, she mouthed, hang up, "I'm sorry officer, I thought my friend, had died, turns out she was just sleeping in a bowl of water" I said. I quickly hung up.

"Emmett you are so dumb!" Alice exclaimed. I ran out of the bathroom, and returned with a bucketful of water. Now I had seen this on TV programmes.

**BPOV**

I screamed as loud as I could. Freezing water had been poured down me.

"Emmett, what the Hell? Why did you do that for?" I screeched, fuming. He looked down innocently.

"I thought you would wake up." He answered.

"So you thought you would throw ice cold water over me? Couldn't you just. I don't know. Said my name?!" I screamed. I went to shower, a boiling water.

Emmett and Alice were waiting on my bed, phone in hand,

"It's time" Emmett said. I grabbed the phone and started dialing Jasper's number…

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?!**

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	24. Jasper Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, GOTHS, EMOS**

**OR STRAIT JACKETS**

**Chapter 24**

"_It's time" Emmett said. I grabbed the phone and started dialing Jasper's number…_

**Jasper **_Emmett, Bella and Alice_

_**Hello…?**_

_Hello this is_

…_E-M-O_

**What's that?**

_Emotional Male Organisation_

**I am not a Emo!**

_Well we have had many worrying notes from family and friends concerning your emotional state._

**I am not an emo!**

_Well the first step is denial, so I guess you are making progress._

**I am not an emo, ok, I can control my state!**

_Fine, we can say Emotionally Unstable, is you wish?_

**That sounds like I am mental.**

_Well by the force of which you are speaking, you sound mental. No offence_

**Offence taken!**

_Would you like some classes to help you?_

**FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT AN EMO, I DO NOT WEAR DULL CLOTHES, **

_What are you wearing_

**Black**

_Point made_ **[A/N no offence to emos!] **_Would you like me to go threw the symptoms with you?_

**Okaay…**

_Well, do you have rushes of weird emotions, and don't know why _

**Well yeah, but in a different way**

_There is only one reason. YOU ARE CRAZY_

**I thought I was an emo**

_Potato Patato _**[A/N no I don't think emo's are crazy**_**] **__Do you sometimes cut yourself?_ **[A/N I will say it again I KNOW NOT ALL EMOS ARE LIKE THIS, IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY] **

**Well, it aint my fault,**

_It is no one's but your own._

**OMG I have all the symptoms, when are the classes?! **Jasper's voice was rising, Me and Alice were in hysterics. Emmett was struggling to keep a straight face, the corner of his mouth was wobbling.

_Tonight,_

**How much?**

_Umm… £5 _

**Oh good, cheaper than my other classes! I will go! **Jasper squealed

*hangs up*

"Did my husband just squeal?" Alice said. We all broke into severe laughter.

Me, Alice and Emmett were laughing. Now time to set up. We ran into the local hall.

"Excuse me, can we rent out this hall" I begged. The pointy nose guy looked at me,

"I am sorry, no" Emmett came up behind me.

"I mean, of course," Emmett frowned, "Free of charge" the man amended. Emmett grinned.

"Good" We all stared at the guy. He looked confused.

"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!" Emmett screeched in his face.

"Rentals start at…at 5" I glared at him… " I mean now." He scrabbled out of the room,

"TAKE YOUR STUFF MOUSE!" The man ran in and gathered his stuff, speedily, "HURRY UP!" Emmett shouted. This was so funny to watch.

After 5 minutes we had planned it. We had 100 Goths in the hall, and 50 emos. We also had some 70 year old women, to give of the horrible stench.

**JasperPOV**

I was watching Tv with Rose, my phone began to ring. _Super freak, Super freak, Super FREAKY. _Wow, embarrassing, I picked it up

_**Hello…?**_

_Hello this is E-M-O_

**What's that?**

_Emotional Male Organisation_

**I am not a Emo! **I debated

_Well we have had many worrying notes from family and friends concerning your emotional state. _EMMETT?!

**I am not an emo!**

_Well the first step is denial, so I guess you are making progress._

**I am not an emo, ok, I can control my state!**

_Fine, we can say Emotionally Unstable, is you wish?_

**That sounds like I am mental.**

_Well by the force of which you are speaking, you sound mental. No offence _OMG!

**Offence taken!**

_Would you like some classes to help you? _Already done

**FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT AN EMO, I DO NOT WEAR DULL CLOTHES, **

_What are you wearing? _Pervert?

**Black**

_Point made_ **[A/N no offence to emos!] **_Would you like me to go threw the symptoms with you?_

**Okaay…**

_Well, do you have rushes of weird emotions, and don't know why _

**Well yeah, but in a different way**

_There is only one reason. YOU ARE CRAZY_

**I thought I was an emo**

_Potato Patato _**[A/N no I don't think emo's are crazy**_**] **__Do you sometimes cut yourself?_ **[A/N I will say it again I KNOW NOT ALL EMOS ARE LIKE THIS, IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY] **Are they calling me crazy?

**Well, it aint my fault,**

_It is no one's but your own._

**OMG I have all the symptoms, when are the classes?! **

_Tonight,_

**How much?**

_Umm… £5 _Wow

**Oh good, cheaper than my other classes! I will go! **

_It is at the hospital_

*hangs up*

I made my way to the local hall, which I assumed it was in. Rosalie was looking at me, "I'm not an Emo" I said. I walked in, millions of emotions overcame me. Love, Death, Hate, Confusion, Hot I was really confused. What was happening?! There was a poster on the wall

**EMO HELP CLINIC BEEN MOVED TO HOSPITAL**

I went to the hospital. There were people everywhere. At least I was not the only one with an emotional state. I walked up to the desk. "Excuse me, where is the Emo clinic?" The lady looked confused,

"Excuse me young sir, we do not have one." She replied,

"YES YOU DO, DO NOT LIE TO ME WOMAN!"I was getting angry. Someone was making me feel angry. [**A/N in case you aint worked out, it Emmett, Bella and Alice] **

"I'm sorry sir, there really isn't"

"WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED. TELL ME THE TRUTH PLEASE?!LISTEN LADY I WILL GIVE YOU THIS FIVER AND YOU WILL TAKE IT AND BE GRATEFUL!!!" I was losing it,

"I will take your fiver but I cant give you a emo lesson I am afraid" the lady continually pressed a red button, it read SECURITY ON IT

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING SECURITY/ I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS?! OBVIOUSLY NOT." Two large security guards came and took me away. They shoved me in the back of a van it read **MENTAL CLINIC **

"I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!!!" I YELLED "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL JUDY?!" I was furious. They put me in a strait jacket. One officer called someone on his walkie talkie

**We have a crazy suspect coming**

_Scale 1-5?_

**20**

_OKAY EVERYONE GET THE BUCKLES!_

"Why would judy do this to me?!" I screeched. An officer looked at me.

"Her name was Jane…"

"POTATO PATATO!!!!!!!!!!"

IN THE CLINIC…

They were struggling to put the belts on me.

"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MOLESTING ME, I CAN PUT SOME BELTS ON!!!!!!!!!!!" I screeched. A medical doctor put a gas mask on me. I could only blackness…

**WHAT DO YOU THINK? FUNNY? FAVE CHAPPY? WHO SHOULD BE NEXT**

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	25. Rosalie Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**I WILL OWEN TAYLOR LAUTNER ONE DAY**

**SO BACK HE IS MINE**

**I DOUBT I WILL EVER OWN TWILGIHT!**

**Chapter 25**

_They were struggling to put the belts on me._

"_CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MOLESTING ME, I CAN PUT SOME BELTS ON!!!!!!!!!!!" I screeched. A medical doctor put a gas mask on me. I could only blackness…_

**A/N okay I know that a gas mask wouldn't effect him, but y'know, just go with it.!**

It's been 3 weeks, Jasper has apparently been 'cooling' down. The doctors had said he was not in a stable state to see us. Wow, he must really have let go! But then again, being in a room full of insane people wouldn't help him make a quick recovery. We were apparently aloud to pick him up today. Great. I hope he doesn't suspect us!

**JasperPOV**

I have been in this death hole for like what? 3 years. Oh wait 3 weeks! Jeez, I am not crazy.

"I am not CRAZY!" I screamed out. A patient looked at me sceptically.

"And they thought I was crazy!" She muttered, too low for a normal human to hear, but with my extra hearing I could. I scowled at her. She whimpered. A doctor walked in,

"Hey Jasper, you have people coming to take you home." I looked at him, and scowled, the doctor backed away. "Don't worry they are friends" He said like I was a two year old, trying to learn English. I nodded. "We will take it slowly" Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Alice all walked in. All memories came flooded back. It was Emmett's voice on the phone, and Bella and Alice's I looked at them. I pointed at them,

"YOU" I screeched. Bella looked at Alice,

"Excuse me, come one Jasper let's go home." She dragged me off. We were in the hallway. She started unbuttoning my shirt,

"Jazzy, you have been gone for 3 weeks, I want to spend some time with you," She started dragging me into the toilet, the same old patient that insulted me came out,

"Maam, I wouldn't go in their, no ones in there!" She warned,

"Your point," She asked. The lady pointed to me.

"You are going in their, alone, with him?" She insulted, Alice nodded.

"God bless you young lady." She said and walked off. Alice kept dragging me, as I entered I was hit with a huge force,

BPOV

I didn't want to. But he knew to much! Emmett whacked him over the head with a baseball bat, He fell to the floor. **[A/N I kno this wouldn't happen but JUST IMAGINE] **

"Emmett, do you normally carry a baseball bat around with you"

"Yes, something wrong" With Emmett. Yes. Emmett stuffed Jasper in his backpack. Wow he came prepared. He noticed me looking.

"I saw it on a tv show" He said smiling. We nodded. We walked out of the hospital with a bulging backpack.

"Excuse me, what is in your backpack?" A nurse asked. I looked at Emmett,

"Umm, my oversized Barbie doll!" Emmett said. With that we ran off.

BACK AT HOME…

We had gotten over the whole problem. Jasper barely remembered anything that happened in the last 3 weeks. I was in my room with Edward, we were curled up on his bed. Emmett came crashing in, and grabbed me,

"SORRY EDWARD, I NEED BELLA!" He screeched. Edward growled,

"EMMETT GIVE IT BACK!" He screamed, Emmett ran me to my room at my house, Alice was sitting on my bed, phone in hand.

"Who?"

"Rose" Emmett grinned stupidly

**Hello**

_Hello this is…?_

**MIGHT UPDATE TONIGHT IF I GET OVER 10 REVIEWS!!! CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE.**

**WHAT SHOULD THEY SAY TO ROSE? PLASTIC SURGEON???**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	26. Rosalie Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**SAD I KNOW ALL BELONGS TO **

**Prank Call**

**Chapter 26**

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

…_the hospital_

**Oh do you need my brother, Jasper, has he gone loopy again?**

_No, no not this time. We are the plastic surgery department_

**Oh do you want Emmett, he has already had like 5 this year. I don't think he would want another one.**

_Has he really_. I looked over at Emmett. He looked down.

**Yeah, but it didn't go very well,**

_Where exactly did he have surgery?_

**Don't you know?**

_We have so many patients under the name Cullen it is confusing!_

**Oh, I knew Alice, secretly had it. Obviously, not on her boobs, they are FLAT.**

_Okaay… _

**Sorry you were saying…?**

_Well, we were wondering, would you like to have some plastic surgery done?_

**Okay, what do you recommend…?**

_Well, would you like to send a picture to us, we can recommend? And make sure we can see the naturality of your face, so no make up_

**Okay, I have one of me in a tight ponytail, I will send that one to you *Click***

"_YOU HAVE RECEIVED A TEXT MESSAGE"_

_HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE?! Is that you you are uglyyy!_ I smacked Alice. Too far,

**Excuse me?!**

_I mean is that you?! It is beautiful! _"Nice save" I mouthed. She nodded.

**Ohh right. I thought so cos I am so damn beautiful.**

_If that is what you call it nowadays_

**Whatever. Jealousy is a common reaction. So what should I have done do you think?**

_Well we can get a bit of your moustache off_

**MOUSTACHE?!**

_Ooops, okay, well we can get off that mole off you_

**It's my BEAUTY MARK!**

_If you say so _**[A/N no offence]**

**Actually wait. It's a marker pen!**

_Well, that's lucky._

**Anywhere else**

_Well we could do your hair. Layers, Highlights and dye's. _

**Okay. That sounds good, so when should I come?**

_Tonight good?_

**Well umm**

_GOOD SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN, at the local hospital_

_*hangs up*_

Me, Alice and Emmett went to plan.

2HOURS LATER…

We had kicked everyone out of the hospital. Apart from the patients **[A/N I know not possible] **

_FLASHBACK_

_At the hospital…_

"_Can all the nurses and doctors please go?" Emmett said, _

"_I am afraid I cannot do that." Emmett shouted,_

"_YOU WILL DO AS I SAY." The nurse looked scared. A doctor, the same one as we asked for Jasper came and stood behind us. _

"_Hello, I remember you, you were the aggressive steroid enhanced one from before!" He declared. Emmett put on his innocent face, _

"_Me, no, not me, these muscles, are inflatable." He said falsely. The doctor frowned._

"_Lets feel then" He reached out. Emmett swiftly moved his arm away._

"_What are you now, gay?!" The doctor scowled._

"_Well, I have you know, I have been working out like everyday." He flexed his muscles, what the hell, they were pretty small. We all laughed. I realised Alice had snuck off. All of a sudden the fire alarm went off. Over the intercom a voice sounded, it was Alice _

_**THERE IS A FIRE! ALL NURSES AND DOCTORS EVACUATE. PATIENTS, YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE SOONER, SO STAY IN HERE!**_

_Another voice sounded_

_**DON'T WORRY THERE IS NO FIRE. PATIENTS, WELL YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY SO. YEAH. **__Alice soon appeared, shaking her head. I smiled. We tried a different approach. Emmett walked up to the desk,_

"_Excuse me we are here to take over the hospital, for a test run day." The lady didn't look up from her crossword. "Name," Emmett looked at me I mouthed Mr Fillis,_

"_Mr Filangee" _**[A/N yes from friends] **_The lady moved and cleared the whole of the injury ward._

_FLASHBACK_

**RosaliePOV**

I was looking in the mirror, admiring myself. God. I swear it's illegal to be this beautiful. I bet everyone is jealous of how I look. I mean Emmett is pretty lucky, I mean a fitass wife, lately he has been disappearing off with Alice and Bella, well I guess he wouldn't cheat on phone started ringing _Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me. Don't cha._

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is the hospital _Oh they want Jasper

**Oh do you need my brother, Jasper, has he gone loopy again?**

_No, no not this time. We are the plastic surgery department_

**Oh do you want Emmett, he has already had like 5 this year. I don't think he would want another one.**

_Has he really_.

**Yeah, but it didn't go very well,**

_Where exactly did he have surgery?_

**Don't you know?**

_We have so many patients under the name Cullen it is confusing!_

**Oh, I knew Alice, secretly had it. Obviously, not on her boobs, they are FLAT.**

_Okaay… _

**Sorry you were saying…?**

_Well, we were wondering, would you like to have some plastic surgery done?_

**Okay, what do you recommend…?**

_Well, would you like to send a picture to us, we can recommend? And make sure we can see the naturality of your face, so no make up_

**Okay, I have one of me in a tight ponytail, I will send that one to you *Click***

"_YOU HAVE RECEIVED A TEXT MESSAGE"_

_HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE?! Is that you you are uglyyy!_

**Excuse me?!**

_I mean is that you?! It is beautiful!_

**Ohh right. I thought so cos I am so damn beautiful.**

_If that is what you call it nowadays_

**Whatever. Jealousy is a common reaction. So what should I have done do you think?**

_Well we can get a bit of your moustache off _OH MY GOD, oh no they didn't!

**MOUSTACHE?!**

_Ooops, okay, well we can get off that mole off you_

**It's my BEAUTY MARK!**

_If you say so _**[A/N no offence]**

**Actually wait. It's a marker pen!**

_Well, that's lucky._

**Anywhere else**

_Well we could do your hair. Layers, Highlights and dye's. _I looked in the mirror, that would look nice

**Okay. That sounds good, so when should I come?**

_Tonight good?_

**Well umm**

_GOOD SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN, at the local hospital_

_*hangs up*_

I made my way to the hospital it was rather empty. I saw two people. They looked familiar like Alice and Emmett, couldn't be.

"Okay, could you come this way please." I followed them.

EmPOV

Me, Alice and Bella were in the changing rooms,

"Okay, me and Emmett will dress up as nurses."

"Why a nurse?! Why can't I be a doctor?" I whined.

"Shut up Emmett!" Bella pouted,

"Why can't I be a nurse?" Bella said

"Because you smell" Alice snapped

"EXCUSE ME?!" Bella screeched

"I mean, Rose will recognize your scent!" Bella smiled, feeling better.

"Actually, I would rather keep my life, so you guys take the blame you know!" Bella quoted.

5MINUTES LATER…

Rosalie entered. Emmett spoke, "Can you please come this way." Rosalie followed.

We started by blindfolded her.

"Excuse me, why are you blindfolding me?" I thought quickly,

"So we can surprise you, when it is finished."

AFTER SURGERY…

After hours of surgery, we had penned a moustache and beard and in bold writing written SLUT across her forehead. All in permanent marker. Rose will kill us. We had also. Died her hair pink, bright pink, with green streaks in it.

"Are you done yet?!" She complained.

"Yes" I said, I directed Alice out of the room. We sprinted out.

**RosaliePOV**

I was getting bored,

"Are you done yet?!" I complained

"Yes," they replied. I heard faint footsteps, I unravelled my blindfold. I looked around, I approached a mirror. I screamed. My hair was bright pink and green. And I had a permanent marker written all my forehead, saying SLUT also I had a beard and a moustache..I looked at the bottle of hair dye. I saw the 5 words that made me scream three times louder.

**STAY IN FOR A WEEK**

**REVIEW REVIEW I MIGHT UPDATE TOMMOROW!!!!! SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!**

**POOR ROSALIE!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL BAD FOR HER. WHO SHOULD BE NEXT?!**

**SHOULD I END IT SOON?!**


	27. Jessica Part I

**Chapter 2**

_Previously_

"_Yes," they replied. I heard faint footsteps, I unravelled my blindfold. I looked around, I approached a mirror. I screamed. My hair was bright pink and green. And I had a permanent marker written all my forehead, saying SLUT also I had a beard and a moustache..I looked at the bottle of hair dye. I saw the 5 words that made me scream three times louder._

_**STAY IN FOR A WEEK**_

BPOV

Rosalie still hasn't gotten over the whole pink and green hair thing. After about 2 weeks, the writing had finally came off. But the green and pink dye didn't come off. She had refused to come out of her room. Her hair was rather horrible. Thank God, she didn't find out it was us. We would die.

Emmett was a bit upset that he didn't get to have sex with Rose. But for me and Alice it was worth it. I am really surprised that Emmett and Alice could keep their mind blocked. I woke up in Edward's arms. I heard a scream. I ran into Rosalie's room, she was looking in the mirror,

"What's wrong, Rose," I said sweetly.

"MY HAIR IS GREEN AND PINK" She screeched.

"Urh, Rose it's been like that for 2 weeks," I said. Bad move.

"WHAT?!"

"No one will notice it." I assured, Rose smiled,

"Your right Bells, no one will notice it, IF THEY ARE BLIND!!" She screamed back. I backed out the door. I got changed and walked up to Edward.

"What are we doing today?" Edward looked down guiltily.

"Well, I have to go hunting with everyone." I frowned,

"Okay,"

"But two people can stay behind, who do you want"

"Umm can it not be you?" He shook his head, "Okay. Emmett and Alice." Edward disappeared and returned in 5 seconds,

"Sorted," He said with his crooked grin. I smiled back.

3HOURS LATER…

Edward and I had gone to our meadow to relax, suddenly he said,

"I have to go, love" He kissed my temple. I frowned, "I'll be back later, okay I love you."

"Love you too" With that he vanished.

Suddenly I was swept up into someone's arms, I screamed. Something, it had red hair. Victoria. I screamed as loud as I can. The red hair fell off. I looked at the head of the person, it was someone with brown curly hair… Emmett.

"Emmett, put me down," He put me down and pouted.

"How did you know it was me?! I had a red wig, and make up on!" I looked at his face, it was covered in blusher and red lipstick and wonky eyeliner. I laughed.  
"I see the make up didn't go to well…Now take me back to my house." I said, Emmett picked me up and started running, full speed to my house. I had gotten use to the speed, and no longer felt sick. We had arrived. We made our way to my room.

"LET'S PRANK CALL" I screeched

"Who shall we prank call?" Emmett questioned.

"Jessica" I said,

"Brilliant" He said, ruffling my hair, he started dialling, there was a loud crash. Alice stood in the door way.

"Sorry bout that. Why would you prank call without me?" She said pouting. I shook my head,

"I wasn't finished, LETS PRANK CALL, BUT WE WILL WAIT UNTIL ALICE GETS HERE!" I said defensively, "See," She nodded. Emmett put the phone on loud speaker and dialled Jessica's number:

**Hello…? Mike I swear to god If it's you…!**

_It isn't… this is…_

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW AND I MIGHT UPDATE TONIGHT.**

**BUT **

**I WILL UPDATE MY OTHER STORY NEW LIFE OLD FRIENDS FIRST SO…. IF I GET MORE REVIEWS I WILL UPDATE THIS FIRST!**

**WHAT SHOULD THEY SAY TO JESSICA?!**


	28. Jessica Part II

**DISCAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY CHARACTERS**

**I TELL YOU NOW, I NEVER WILL**

**ALL BELONGS TO SMEYER**

**Chapter 28**

"_I wasn't finished, LETS PRANK CALL, BUT WE WILL WAIT UNTIL ALICE GETS HERE!" I said defensively, "See," She nodded. Emmett put the phone on loud speaker and dialled Jessica's number:_

_**Hello…? Mike I swear to god If it's you…!**_

_It isn't… this is…_

…_TMA_

**Come again**

_A little deaf are we? TMa_

**What is the TMA?**

_Teenager Modelling Agency _

**OMG?! Why are you calling mee? **

_Well, we were wondering---_

**It better not be about those nose hair clippers, because I just ordered them, **Jessica had nose clippers?! Weird

_No you have been awarded an award!_

***squeal* What award?**

_We can not tell you,_

**Why not…?**

_Because_

**Because what…?**

_I just don't want to tell you! OKAY_

**No need to be so mean. *sniffle***

_I'm sorry, wel,l come to the awards tonight, you will be awarded the trophy_

**When is it?**

_Tonight_

**Well that is a bit short notice---**

_YOU BETTER BE THERE! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, SO… _I looked at Emmett, he grinned stupidly.

**I would say you are a stalker, but I am winning an award so… by the way how did you find out where I live…?**

_We asked someone…? _Emmett said, sounding like a question. I laughed. Alice smacked Emmett, it made a loud echoing noise

**What was that…?! **Oops

_Umm…I fell down stairs _

**That was a bit loud **Double Oops

_They were stone stairs_

**Well, how did the phone stay in your hands.**

_CAN YOU STOP INTERRAGATING ME! STOP YOUNG PEASANT!_

**What..? back to my question how do you know where I live, do you stalk me or something?**

_Yes_

**Okaay…**

_So come to Forks high school at 8pm Don't wear a dress_

**OMG that's where I go to---**

_Nice to know _

_*hang up*_

We burst out laughing. We need to set up. We made our way to the school. I walked up to the gates. I tried opening them, they were locked, I turned around,

"It's locked!" I said. Emmett came up, holding a bunch of keys, there was about 500 on there, I decided not to ask. He put the key in the lock, and opened it.

"Nice one" Alice said. We walked in the hall.

"Okay guys, we need to call as many people as we can, invite them, now"

I dialled Mike's number:

**Hello Mike, it's Bella**

_Bella…! _

**Come to the school hall!**

_When?!_

**NOW!**

I started calling lots of people in total, 150 people had gathered in the hall. They were starting to get bored. They started singing, _Why are we waiting we are constipating, we want to GOOOOOOO. _

I walked on stage. There were some catcalls, and some shouts. Lauren shouted out "PLASTC SURGERY!" I smiled at her.

"Guys, just wait 5 more minutes! And if Lauren asks, you lot are celebrities" I begged. I went back stage. Emmett was dressed as a tv host. Jessica walked through the doors, and sat down next to Mike and Mr Banner.

**JessicaPOV**

I was in my room dancing to songs, shaking my hips seductively, I picked up my book. Me and Lauren had made it. The title was;

**HOW TO GET EDWARD CULLEN IN 50 DAYS**

It doesn't really work. I mean it has been over 2 years! My phone started ringing. I went to get it_ This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot, this is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot. _ Too true, too true

_**Hello…? Mike I swear to god If it's you…! **_I threatened

_It isn't… this is TMA_

**Come again**

_A little deaf are we? TMA _Insult?!

**What is the TMA?**

_Teenager Modelling Agency _

**OMG?! Why are you calling mee? **

_Well, we were wondering---_

**It better not be about those nose hair clippers, because I just ordered them, **

_No you have been awarded an award!_

***squeal* What award?**

_We can not tell you,_

**Why not…?**

_Because_

**Because what…?**

_I just don't want to tell you! OKAY_

**No need to be so mean. **I sniffled

_I'm sorry, wel,l come to the awards tonight, you will be awarded the trophy _Trophy OMG.

**When is it?**

_Tonight_

**Well that is a bit short notice---**

_YOU BETTER BE THERE! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, SO_…WHAT?!

**I would say you are a stalker, but I am winning an award so… by the way how did you find out where I live…?**

_We asked someone…? _If it was Lauren I have to thank her

**What was that…?! **

_Umm…I fell down stairs _That was loud!

**That was a bit loud **

_They were stone stairs _Ouch

**Well, how did the phone stay in your hands. **I really was nosy wasn't I?

_CAN YOU STOP INTERRAGATING ME! STOP YOUNG PEASANT! _Peasant?

**What..? back to my question how do you know where I live, do you stalk me or something?**

_Yes_

**Okaay…**

_So come to Forks high school at 8pm. Don't wear a dress_

**OMG that's where I go to--- **I began, but they interrupted me

_Nice to know _

_*hang up*_

I went up and got changed.

2HOURS LATER…

I had decided I was going to wear my red tank top, I now had to pick what else I would wear. After a couple more hours I decided what to wear, I was wearing a blue,green,white, blue and yellow t shirt and dark blue. I made my way to the school. I arrived, I entered the hall, a sign reading TMA was sellotaped across the wall. I sat down. I looked to my left,

"Hello, what is your name?" The man thought for a minute.

"Justin Timberlake." He said, smiling. I looked carefully, he looked like Mike,

"You look like my annoying ex-boyfriend." Justin frowned **[A/N justin IS mike btw]**

"Maybe he wasn't annoying, he was just persisitant!" Justin debated. I looked at him. Justin looked down,

"Read in a magazine," He defended. I nodded, I looked to my right,

"Mr Banner?"

"No I am Michael Jackson," He said smiling. He held up his white glove. I nodded, lookink away. He better not sexual harass me! Just then a woman walked on the stage.

**BPOV**

I walked on the stage.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, after handing the awards for, prettiest man to Michael Newton and the most plastic surgery taken girl to Lauren…" Lauren scowled, I smiled, angelically. "The next award goes to. JESSICA STANLEY!" The hall was silent,

"Fine don't cheer, guys." We all started to cheer, On the whiteboard, I swiftly, in large writing wrote,

**BEST DRAG AWARD**

"NOW we know what you do in your spare time Jess!" Mike shouted out. Jess blushed. I lifted the microphone to my mouth.

"Why do you think you won this award?" I asked innocently, she looked blank, I turned to the audience.

"She has a definite jawline"

"She walks like one, very well,"

"She is probably one in disguise,"

"WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR TOP?!WAS SOMETHING SICK ONI T?!"

"HOW DO YOU SHAVE YOUR BEARD SO FINELY?!" one person shouted out.

Jessica was confused, I smiled.

JessicaPOV

What, this weird. I turned around and read the board

**BEST DRAG AWARD**

I turned around fuming, everyone had left. Chairs were upturned. I will kill the person who did this. In the corner of the board I saw 2 words

**FROM MIKE**

Made my way to kill MIKE NEWTON. Now where is my knuckleduster?!

**NOT THAT GOOD, I KNOW, ONE OF YOUR FAVE CHAPTERS?**

**HOW LONG UNTIL I FINISH? TELL ME. NO REVIEW I WILL END IT! SO REVIEW**

**WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE PRANKED?!**

**REVIEW I NEED AT LEAST 10 BEFORE I CARRY ON SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	29. Mr Banner Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT,**

**I WILL SOMEDAY, THEN YOU WILL BOW**

**DOWN TO MY FEET!!!!**

**Chaper 29**

Jessica never got over the whole, Best Drag award. But here at Forks High gossip changes quickly. It's been 3 weeks since our last prank call. I woke up, I quickly looked around, Edward wasn't here, I wonder where he was? I got up and got changed in my light blue tank top and dark blue skinny jeans. I went downstairs, to make my breakfast. I started speedily gulping my cereal down, all of a sudden Emmett jumped out behind the sofa. I screamed.

"EMMETT, WHAT THE HELL?!" Emmett smiled stupidly,

"Well it's our 6 month anniversity," He replied, I was confused,

"Since what?"

"Our prank call, mayhem,"

"Well, technically it's mine and Alice's now, scatter, I am trying to eat." I snapped. He had a pohne in his hand. OH no,

"Emmett, 1, I am not in the mood right now, and 2, I AM EATING!" I screeched the last bit, Emmett looked upset, I would of said sorry, but I was eating.

My home phone began to rang.

**Bella** _Mystery Caller_

**Hello…?**

_Hello Bella_

**HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME, AND HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER STALKER!!!!**

_1, I guessed and 2, it was in the phone directory, _I hung up and walked up to the counter, got a note pad and wrote

**TO DO LIST:**

**Get rid of number in phone directory!**

I wrote it in bold letters, Emmett came up to, Alice behind him,

"Now are you in the mood?" Alice questioned.

"YEYA" I picked up the phone, "Who should we call?"

"Mr BANNER" Emmett shouted. I looked at him,  
"You have his number?"

"Yes, for emergencies."

"Whatt emergencies,"

"SHUT UP AND DIAL!" He demanded. I dialled the number.

**Hello Bella**

_WHAT THE HELL, HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW MY NUMBER!_

I hung up. "Emmett burn the phone book." I dialled Mr Banner again

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…?_

**WHAT SHOULD I SAY? REVIEW REVIEW**


	30. Mr Banner Part II

**DISCLAIMER: THE LATEST ON THE WHOLE, TAKING OVER TWLIGHT**

**IS STILL ON PROCESS, I AM GETTING THERE,**

**I HAVE A PATROLLING ORDER, I HAVE TO STAY 50 YARDS AWAY FROM , THEY SAY I STALK HER! I MEAN IT'S NOT MY FAULY WE GOT TO THE EXCACT SAME PLACE AT THE EXCACT SAME TIME!!! **

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT…YET!**

Chapter 30

"SHUT UP AND DIAL!" He demanded. I dialled the number.

**Hello Bella**

_WHAT THE HELL, HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW MY NUMBER!_

I hung up. "Emmett burn the phone book." I dialled Mr Banner again

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…?_

…_Geek Convention For Geeks_

**And you called me because…?**

_Well, we have been advised that you have an inner geek._

**An inner geek…? WHATEVER THE POLICE SAY, I DID NOT EAT THAT LITTLE BOY GENIUS! **

_We know, we don't mean it like that_

**Well what do you mean…?**

_A human with a geeky side, like a human nerd inside of them,_

**Is that like the saying every women has a d**k, vice versa?**

_Not really…_

**Okay, then explain…!**

_Well, apparently you are clever,_

**Well, I would not like to boast… BUT I AM CLEVER!**

_We would like to invite you to a geek convention,_

**A geek convention…? You mean, people that are like me? **

_Yes,_

**So, no more hormonal teenagers…?! BONUS**

_Well, there might be some_

**They are really annoying, **

_Teachers, might be there as well, they are annoying, I mean you know them ones, that are like biology teachers, that endlessly flirt with their students, thinking they are good looking, you know them types, don't you hate them. And they like live in a tin. _

**Yeah, who does that?! Losers **We started laughing

_So what do you do for a living?_

**Farm…chickens?**

_*hangs up*_

What the hell…? Me, Emmett and Alice went to set up the 'Geek convention'

**MrBannerPOV**

I was reading my book:

**HOW TO BE A GEEK**

I was on chapter 5. My phone began to rang. _Soulja boy up in his hoe, why _**[A/N: Random much?] **I picked it up.

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…?…Geek Convention For Geeks_

**And you called me because…? **I asked

_Well, we have been advised that you have an inner geek. _I thought I was proven guilty

**An inner geek…? WHATEVER THE POLICE SAY, I DID NOT EAT THAT LITTLE BOY GENIUS! **I demanded,

_We know, we don't mean it like that_

**Well what do you mean…? **I was confused.

_A human with a geeky side, like a human nerd inside of them,_

**Is that like the saying every women has a d**k, vice versa?**

_Not really…_

**Okay, then explain…!**

_Well, apparently you are clever,_

**Well, I would not like to boast… BUT I AM CLEVER!**

_We would like to invite you to a geek convention,_

**A geek convention…? You mean, people that are like me? **

_Yes, _YESSS!!

**So, no more hormonal teenagers…?! BONUS **I questioned.

_Well, there might be some_

**They are really annoying, **

_Teachers, might be there as well, they are annoying, I mean you know them ones, that are like biology teachers, that endlessly flirt with their students, thinking they are good looking, you know them types, don't you hate them. And they like live in a tin. _

Are they serious? I am a biology teacher.

**Yeah, who does that?! Losers **I made up.

_So what do you do for a living? _Crap. What should I say?

**Farm…chickens?**

_*hangs up*_

Great. I just told a geek convention manager, that I farm chickens! Why didn't I say inventor of the light bulb, or something. Oh wait everyone knows that Isaac Newton invented the light bulb **[A/N for those who think I am stupid I KNOW that Isaac Newton didn't invent the light bulb!] **I shoule of said, high tech inventor. My phone began ringing again.

**Hello…?**

_Hey, Mr Banner it's Mike, I was wondering, what was the homework yesterday? _

**YOU KNOW WHAT MIKE I DON'T CARE, I WILL BE AN INVENTOR, TELL THE WHOLE SCHOOL, I HAVE MOVED ON TO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS, AND THAT THEY WERE JUST HOLDING ME BACK!!!!! **I screamed down the phone. Mike was silent for a moment, taking what I had just said in.

_You know what, I'll just ring Jess…_

_*Hang up*_

Whatever. I better things to do than, talk to 17 year old stalkers, I ran upstairs to get changed. I didn't know what to pick to wear, I could either go for a shirt and tie, or trainers and a tshirt, what says, I am a clever50 year old man? **[A/N did it ever say how old Mr. B was?] **I will call Mr Spark, He would know. (He works at the school.)

**Hello…? Tanya get off me for a moment,** I could tell he was busy.

_Hey, Bart it's Eric _

**Oh hey Eric, Tanya, you have already had 5 minutes of my time, I will be back in a minute! **Wow he was quick!

_What would you wear to a sophisticated meeting?_

**Tshirt and trousers **Okay, shirt, and tie

_Thanks _

_*hang up*_

I went and tried on my shirt and tie, I wore a yellow shirt, and a gold tie. I made my way to the school. It was filled with people, I walked in.

BPOV

Emmett called loads of random people, in the phone book, I heard him in the background speaking,

**Hello, Ken adams. You sound smart are you?**

**Fine, are you gay?**

**You know what,it doesn't matter, come to Forks high **

**NOW**

**You live in China? **

**Well you better hurry up then! **He screamed. Poor Ken.

2HOURS LATER…

We had set up the hall, we had put posters up saying GFCG in big bold writing**.[A/N make sense later]**

A man with a grey beard walked in. He looked like a Ken, I walked up to him,

"Hello, Ken?" I said like a question,

"Hello,I have come all they way from 2 blocks away!" Emmett came running,

"YOU SAID YOU LIVED IN CHINA KEN, WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME? WE WERE FRIENDS KEN!!" Emmett shouted. Me and Alice started laughing.

"Well we were on the phone for 3 minutes, so I guess we aren't best Buds" Ken stated.

"Didn't them 2 minutes and 34 seconds mean anything to you?" He said sadly,

"Not really?!" Ken shouted, he stormed off. Alice walked on stage,

"Guy's Mr Banner will walk in in a minute, so act geeky, say random complex stuff okay!" There were some mumblings,

"HOW DO WE KNOW WHO HE IS?" Someone brvaelt shouted, Alice thought for a minute,

"Well, he has black hair, very little though, and has a bald patch. Quite fat, small," Just then Mr Banner walked in, Me, Alice and Bella ran backstage, grabbed the camera, and discreetly took pictures of Mr Banner and some men, and some signs.

A couple of hourse later, the hall had been cleared, we had downloaded the pictures on the computer, we walked into a newspaper store. Emmett charged up to the desk/

"WE have front page material," He said forcibly placing the photos in her hand,

"Well, our front page was going to be a dying soldier,"

"SCREW THE SOLDIER, PUT THIS ON IT!!!" **[A/N I love soldiers btw (Y)] **The lady was scared.

"I will try,"

"Try hard!" Emmett growled. We went home.

MikesPOV

I woke up in the morning, I walked to the door, my weekly issue of Gay Magazine came early. I love my postman. I opened it. The first page, was a picture of Mr Banner around a **lot **of men. Talking animatedly. I scowled. He was so mine, I have a thing for older men. I am starting to like Cheif Swan…

Anyway, I read the Article

**BIOLOGY TEACHER**

HAS OPENLY ADMITTED BEING GAY, GOING TO THE GFCG AS SHOWN IN THE SIGNS, GAY CLUB FOR GAYS!! HATS OFF TO THIS FINE LOOKING CHAP!

No way, is that Mr Banner! It really was. I ran to get changed for school. I walked into biology, as always Bella and Edward were holding hands all lovey dovey. Edward will be mine one day! I will make sure of it, even if I have to kill her. I swear I heard a growl. Oh well. The head teacher walked in,

"Where is Mr Banner?" I stood up,

"Well in his words he said, he has gone off to do better things, something along them lines." I said. Everyone looked at me. I smiled proudly. All of a sudden Mr Banner walked in, all red and puffy. Everyone burst out laughing.

"Quiet guys," He shouted, we all went quiet. I raised my hand,

"So, Mr Banner, you are gay?" I said innocently. Everyone laughed, he looked confused.

"I saw you in the Gay magazine." Everyone looked at me.

"Mike, you read the gay magazine?!" Jess .

"Where did you guys read it?"

"Newspaper" They said. Great, always say newspaper! I am in for it now!

**HOW YOU LIKE…?**

**ONE OF FAVE CHAPPY? I DOUBT IT? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**REVIEW**

**I NEED AT LEAST 5 REVIEW**

**THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS LAST CHAPPY **

**LOVE YOU GUYS,**

**I WANT TO TRY AND REACH 300 REVIEW SO HELP!!!!**


	31. Renee Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, DO FAN FICTION LIKE ME ADMITTING IT, THEY ARE CRUEL!**

**CHAPTER 31**

Mike had finally openly admitted being gay, we all knew that though, but he didn't tell anyone about his slight obsession with Mr Banner, because it's not normal. Mike isn't normal though. I woke up to see Edward wrapping his cool stone arms around me, his eyes were closed. I got up and showered and got changed and went downstairs. Edward opened his arms to me. I snuggled into his embrace. Alice came storming down the stairs. "Bella I need you let's go," Before I could say no I was yanked out of Edward's arms, and was being dragged into her Porsche. I struggled in the seatbelt, but Alice had firmly locked all the car doors. Screw her! I huffed and sat patiently. She came in the car,

"Alice, can you at least tell us why I am here?!" I asked,

"No, you will have to wait." She said starting the engine,

"Well can I say bye to my boyfriend?" I asked

"No time" I looked at her weirdly. After a couple of minutes we had reached our destination.

"Stay in here, don't move, AT ALL" She disappeared. My phone started ringing,

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is Aro_

**Emmett, Alice I know this is you guys, we have been prank calling people together, I can't believe you would betray me like that!!!!!**

_JANNNNNNE_

***hang up***

Alice came into the car again,

"Hey Bella, I can't find Emmett, and who was on the phone Bella?" I looked at her,

"You and Emmett,"  
"Itwasn't…"

"So you mean, that was The volturi, I heard someone shout Jane at the end,"

"I think everyone is finding out about our mischief, this may be the last prank call we do **[A/N should it? REVIEW] **Emmett walked in,

"I heard the news, let's do this" We were all sad,

"Let's call Renee!" I shouted, they nodded, I dialled her number

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is…_

**WHO SHOULD IT BE??REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	32. Renee Part II

**DISCLAIMER: *LOOKS DOWN* YUP I'M STILL ME THAT MEANS I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**SAD. YES BUT I WILL GET OVER IT.**

**TRUST ME, MY FRIENDS ONE DAY TWILIGHT WILL BE MINE, EVEN**

**IF I HAVE TO GO TO EVERY BOOKSTORE IN THE WORLD**

**AND CROSS OUT 'S NAME AND TIPEX MY NAME ON THEM**

**I BETTER GET STARTED. I SHALL START IN CHINA! BYE**

Chapter 32

"_I heard the news, let's do this" We were all sad,_

"_Let's call Renee!" I shouted, they nodded, I dialled her number_

_**Hello…?**_

_Hello this is…_

…_Charlie_

**Hey Charlie, **

_Hey Renee _

**Is something wrong Bella? Did she fall of the roof…again,**

_No she didn't, and how can she fall of a roof_?! Emmett asked astounded

**I ask that question to myself to, but it's Bella, I swear that girl trips over everything** I looked down, Emmett nodded his head in agreement I slapped him gently on the arm,

_Don't worry she is fine, at the moment, I can't assure you that for the rest of her life,_ Emmett said, grinning stupidly. I stuck my tongue out. Alice giggled; I silenced her with a glare. Wow I silenced a vampire, and not any vampire, Alice.

**Okay, so why did you call me, if this does not contain anything about Bella…?**

_Well…I have something to tell you_

**Have you **_**finally **_**paid off your debt, or are you just asking for more money, **Charlie was in debt? Wow, I should cut down, and live on essentials. I could be one of them people who live with a cat, and buys nothing, and stays in the house. Nice image.

_No, umm… well I could do with some money…_

**Well how much do you want, I can't over 10, 000, we need some of Phil's baseball money. He is an excellent player, all his mates say.**

_They are probably paid to say that. And You do know Phil doesn't play baseball, whenever there is a match, I have to dress up as him, and play. So I am good he isn't._

**Charlie, when we together, you couldn't hit a football with a 10 metre bat! **We all laughed

_I didn't want to reveal my skills, my coach said not to_

**And who is your coach? **What should Emmett say? Mr Spark I mouthed, Emmett misunderstood

_Mr Fart _

**Sounds professional! **Mum said with heavy sarcasm. I slapped Emmett, again.

_So back to that money loan… you said no more 10, 000, right _

**Yes…**

_Well can I have 9,999 pounds and 99p please _**[A/N: **_**Phil-Italic bold**_**]**

**Wait there, Phil, **_**Yes **_**Can we lend someone £9,999? **_**Yes sure even though my season is going downhill**_

_Isn't it always _Emmett murmured down the phone. "Shut up!" I whispered

**Okay, Charlie we ca--- **_**Wait Charlie, big head, unshaved messy beard? THAT Charlie? **_**Yes **_**HANG UP BITCH HANG UP!!!**_

***hang up***

I looked at Emmett,

"Shall we call them back?" He nodded, we called them back

**Hello…Charlie**

_Yeah hey, what was that about _

_**Renee, Who is that? **_Phil's voice came through the phone, **It's Charlie, **

_**CHARLIE?! **_

**No, CharlENE…**

_**Who's called Charlene**_**?**_**!**_

**Your ex-wife**_**…! **_Phil's voice seemed to disappear. Wow he really didn't like Charlie,

_So about that 9,999.99, how is it looking?_

**Not good, I don't really want to give you any money. So Bye**

_NOOOOOO DON'T HANG UP ON MEEE_

**I will have to if you keep acting like that…!**

_Like what…?_

**A retard… [A/N no offence to retards, or mentally disabled people, sorry if you find that offensive] **

_Okay, but I need to tell you something,_

**What…?**

_I want to get back with you._

**What?!**

_I need you back Renee,_

**Charlie, I am with a wonderful man,**

_You're not with me yet._** I laughed**

**I mean Phil.**

_I know, I was kidding, but are you sure he isn't on steroids, he is rather strong, you don't want to be included in drugs now do you. HE WILL DRAG YOU DOWN.._

**Have you seen, Bella's boyfriends brother?! **Emmett flexed his muscles,

_He is not on steroids, maybe he just works out_

**Too much.**

_Anyway, I need to tell you something, _

**IT BETTER NOT BE---**

_It's another thing.__** B**__ella has fallen down the stairs, she is on her deathbed. You need to come, now_

**You said, she wass fine.**

_WELL SORRY, I CAN'T READ THE FUTURE._

**How come I didn't hear anything? **Emmett ran over to me, and threw me into a wall. Alice speedily picked me up. I gave the evils to Emmett

_I am on my way. Hang on my darling Bella,_

*hang up*

"I will, but I am not sure about Emmett," I snarled menacingly. I stopped for a moment,

"Guys, what are we going to do when she comes, and she sees I am not on my deathbed?" I asked, Emmett pondered,

"We will say you recovered!" Emmett said. I nodded, not bothering to fight with Emmett, verbally anyway. I went up to him and whacked him.

"What was that for?"

"For being you!" I hit him again.

"Be carefull Bella, if you hit me any harder, my arm might fall off!" He joked. I ran out of the room. I walked back in. Emmett's eyes widened, in my hand was a crowbar and a lighter. I started manically chasing after him. I was surprisingly fast.

**ReneePOV **__

I was cooking food for me and Phil to eat. When I had finished, I went to the computer to see if I had any emails from my little girl. None, that girl could be so untrustworthy, I told her to email me everyday, that's not too much. It's not like she doesn't have time in her so called life. A song started playing. _Some people think I'm bonkers, But I just think im freeee _What the hell, there was a vibration. I saw a rectangular object. It was ringing. I pressed the green button.

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is Charlie _Great just who I wanted to talk to.

**Hey Charlie, **I tried to say politely

_Hey Renee _He said back

**Is something wrong Bella? Did she fall of the roof…again,** I wondered why he was calling me.

_No she didn't, and how can she fall of a roof?!_ I wondered myself

**I ask that question to myself to, but it's Bella, I swear that girl trips over everything**

_Don't worry she is fine, at the moment, I can't assure you that for the rest of her life,_ I knew that was true

**Okay, so why did you call me, if this does not contain anything about Bella…? **I asked curiously.

_Well…I have something to tell you_ I bet it includes money. Him and stupid unpaid bills.

**Have you **_**finally **_**paid off your debt, or are you just asking for more money, **

_No, umm… well I could do with some money…_

**Well how much do you want, I can't over 10, 000, we need some of Phil's baseball money. He is an excellent player, all his mates say. **I said proudly

_They are probably paid to say that. And You do know Phil doesn't play baseball, whenever there is a match, I have to dress up as him, and play. So I am good he isn't._

**Charlie, when we together, you couldn't hit a football with a 10 metre ball **I laughed, remembering.

_I didn't want to reveal my skills, my coach said not to _Sure

**And who is your coach? **

_Mr Fart _Mr Fart…?

**Sounds professional! **I said sarcastically

_So back to that money loan… you said no more 10, 000, right _

**Yes…**

_Well can I have 9,999 pounds and 99p please _**[A/N: **_**Phil-Italic bold**_**]**

**Wait there, Phil, ** I called, He appeared in the room.

_**Yes **_He questioned

**Can we lend someone £9,999? **I asked

_**Yes sure even though my season is going downhill **_Oh.

_Isn't it always _Still rude.

**Okay, Charlie we ca--- **I started, but Phil ran in the room, towering over me. Oh yeah Phil, didn't like Charlie. Whoops

_**Wait Charlie, big head, unshaved messy beard? THAT Charlie?**_He said rather rudely

**Yes**

_**HANG UP B***H HANG UP!!! **_Did he just call me a female dog?

***hang up***

"Phil, why did you call me a b**ch?" I asked. He looked down,

"You know the saying, Bitch is a dog, dog's bark, barks on trees, trees are nature, nature is beautiful, so TECHNICALLY I called you beautiful!" He argued. I looked at him,

"Whatever," I said. My phone began to ring again.

**Hello…Charlie**

_Yeah hey, what was that about _What to say?

_**Renee, Who is that? **_Phil said, Sugar **It's Charlie, **I answered. Wrong move

_**CHARLIE?! **_He screamed

**No, CharlENE…**

_**Who is called Charlene? **_I looked at him,

**Your ex-wife… **Phil laughed, "Oh yeah," He then walked off

_So about that 9,999.99, how is it looking?_ Not good.

**Not good, I don't really want to give you any money. So Bye**

_NOOOOOO DON'T HANG UP ON MEEE _What the fudge?

**I will have to if you keep acting like that…! **I bargained

_Like what…?_

**A retard… [A/N no offence to retards, or mentally disabled people, sorry if you find that offensive] **

_Okay, but I need to tell you something,_

**What…?**

_I want to get back with you._

**What?!**

_I need you back Renee,_

**Charlie, I am with a wonderful man,**

_You're not with me yet._Idiot

**I mean Phil.**

_I know, I was kidding, but are you sure he isn't on steroids, he is rather strong, you don't want to be included in drugs now do you. HE WILL DRAG YOU DOWN.._

**Have you seen, Bella's boyfriends brother?! **I argued

_He is not on steroids, maybe he just works out _Yeah. 24/7

**Too much.**

_Anyway, I need to tell you something, _

**IT BETTER NOT BE---**

_It's another thing.__** B**__ella has fallen down the stairs, she is on her deathbed. You need to come, now W_HAT?!

**You said, she wass fine.**

_WELL SORRY, I CAN'T READ THE FUTURE._

**How come I didn't hear anything? **There was then a massive thud. Ouch

_I am on my way. Hang on my darling Bella,_

*hang up*

I ran to get tickets, I ran out the door. Phil rushed out.

"Where are you going?"

"Forks," I replied.

AT FORKS…

I ran into Charlie's house.

"Bella, Bella," I shouted repeatedly. I saw her in the lounge, eating Doritos with some Cullens. "Bella?!" I asked, she turned.

"Yes mum,"

"You were on your deathbed." She looked around. I swear she was fighting a smile.

"Yes, mum, watching cartoons, with Emmett and the others, can be life-threatening." She joked.

"Where is Charlie?" With that Charlie walked in, he still had is awful stubble. I walked up to him and punched him.

"MUM?!" Bella shouted. I shrugged.

"It was only a prank call, Renee" Emmett said.

BPOV

Aww snap! We are screwed.

**GREAT NEWS GUYS, I HAVE AN IDEA,**

**THE NEXT CHAPPY OR TWO WILL BE EVERYONES REVENGE ON THEM 3, AND THEN AFTER, EMMETT, ALICE AND BELLA WILL PRANK CALL, OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. SO HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? SO I WILL KEEP EVERYONE HAPPY?!**

**REVIEW OR I WILL JUST END IT AND NOT DO MY MASTER PLAN!**

**REVIEW REVIEW, I THINK THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER WOOHOOOO, YOU SHOULD FEEL PRIVELLAGED! (SP?) LOL,**

**I HAVE GREAT NEWS.**


	33. Planning REVENGE Part I

**DISCLAIMER: SO THE WHOLE TIPEXING MY NAME ON **

**THE BOOKS,**

**WELL UMM, I AM BANNED FOR ALL BOOKSTORES IN CHINA, I GOT**

**INTO AMERICA BOOKSTORE, BUT I LOST MY TIPEX, SO **

**I WILL GO BACK LATER!**

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT…YET**

**ALL BELONGS TO …NOW ANYWAY!**

**MWAHAHAHA**

**NO SERIOUSLY, OWNS ALL RIGHTS **

**GIVE ME A MONTH THOUGH!**

**Chapter 33**

"What?" Me, Emmett and Alice sprinted out of the room. When we reached a safety point we shouted at Emmett,

"EMMETT, YOU HAVE NOW BLOWN OUR COVER," I screeched. Alice nodded,

"YEAH, NOW THEY WILL KILL US! They are probably planning their revenge this very minute!" Alice said. Emmett looked down,

"I'm sorry, it just came out, I think they might not realise." I considered that for a minute.

"He's right, we didn't actually tell them, what we did, so maybe, they didn't understand." I said. Alice thought for a moment to.

"You're right, the only safe thing to do is to go into hiding."

"We're shall we go?" I questioned.

"England?" Alice suggested  
"No, too close." Emmett said

"Australia." Alice suggested

"No, Emmett will go crazy, seeing the kangaroos" I said. Emmett looked at me.

"True, he would," Alice realised.

After many hours debating, we still hadn't decided on where we will hide,

"Guys---" Emmett started, his other suggested where stupid, I couldn't be bothered to listen to another one.

"EMMETT, I WILL NOT LISTEN TO ONE OF YOUR IDEAS," I screeched. Alice looked at me astonished at my outburst.

"But, Bella---" He started.

"EMMETT I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO YOU! AND WE WILL NOT, I REPEAT NOT MOVE TO AUSTRALIA" I screamed, losing my temper.

"Why not…? I mean Kangaroos are tremendous, intriguing creatures, and we should be able to see them in their habitat." Me and Alice looked at him. That could not of been Emmett talking like that, he could not construct a 18 word sentence, with two adjectives. Alice thought the same I bet. Emmett shook his head,

"Actually that was not what I was trying to say, we should stay at Bella's house, then if they suspect something, we can go on a car journey." I looked at him,

"That is actually a good idea, let's go to Bella's" Alice said. I nodded, we made our way to my house.

**EdwardPOV**

We were all hanging in the living room. My angel was eating horrible Doritos,

"Bella, Bella," A voice shouted repeatedly. "Bella?!" Renee walked in. I swear she lived in Arizona.

"Yes mum," Bella asked innocently

_Great, the plan is in action _**Emmett**

_Bella is a good actor, good thing she is, other wise we would be screwed _**Alice**

"You were on your deathbed." She looked around. WHAT?! I could see Bella's face light up.

"Yes, mum, watching cartoons, with Emmett and the others, can be life-threatening." She joked.

"Where is Charlie?" With that Charlie walked in. Renee walked up to him and punched him.

"MUM?!" Bella shouted. She just shrugged.

"It was only a prank call, Renee" Emmett said. What? Alice and Bella looked angrily at Emmett, they ran off.

"Now to make sense of that…" Rosalie muttered, there was a knock on the door, I went to answer it.

It was Aro, what was Aro doing here? "Aro," I greeted, he swiftly walked in, He came and sat down, "I have something I would like to talk to all you guys about---" Aro started he was interrupted by a knock of the door, It was Mike, Lauren, Eric and Jess, what were they doing here.

"We need to talk." Jessica said. There was another knock on the door. It was Mr Banner, What?! "Mr Banner, Emmett isn't here, sorry if he skipped detention, again." Mr Banner shook his head,

"No, I want to tell you something, I am suspicious." He started,

"MR BANNER I SWEAR IT WAS TYLER WHO NICKED THE MICROSCOPE NOT ME!" Mike shouted, Mr Banner nodded. There was ring of the door, so some people were smart enough to ring the doorbell, as I walked to the door, I smelt a horrible wood smell, as I opened the door, standing there was, Jacob and Paul, they walked in. Our room was filled with 15 people. Everyone started talking at once.

"SHUT UP GUYS" I shouted, Esme stood up,

"So I am guessing you are all here about weird phone calls." She asked, Eric rolled his eyes,

"No I am here for the free food!" He said sarcastically. I smirked,

"No need to be so rude Eric!" I defended Esme, she smiled at me, gratefully. I nodded.

"So how many of you have received weird phone calls, that made you look like an idiot." Everyone raised their hands, saying 'me' Wow they got us all good!

"Well I think they need payback." I couldn't plot on revenge on my angel, I ran up to my room, excluding myself from their plans,

After a couple of minutes I decided to listen, I could hear them talking clearly.

"THAT IS A BRILLIANT PLAN!!" I heard Lauren squeal.

**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFY, REVIEW REVIEW**

**WHAT SHOULD THE PAYBACK/PRANK BE?! HELP, CAN'T CARRY ON TILL I GET IDEAS FROM YOUG UYS SO TELL ME, AND SHOULD I DO THE WHOLE CARRY ON PRANK CALLS AFTER THIS? REVIEW, I MIGHT NOT, YOUR REVIEW MIGHT COUNT!**

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	34. Planning REVENGE Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.**

**I HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM ENTERING ALL AMEICAN BOOKSTORES ******** SO I WOULD BE GRATEFULL IF SOMEONE COULD DO IT FOR ME ANYONE?! IF YOU WANT WE CAN SPLIT THE CHARACTERS, BUT I GET EDWARD, BELLA AND JACOB ******** YOU CAN HAVE BILLY BLACK ******

**I DON'T OWN ANY CHARACTERS ******

I went downstairs to hear their plans and maybe warn Bella. As I entered Mike looked at me, "Edward, you better not tell Bella our plans, I would have to decapitate your head!" He warned growling slightly, I would love to see him try that!

"I wasn't going to, but I don't feel comfortable planning revenge on my fiancée," I stated. Everyone rolled their eyes, expecting me to be the caring fiancé. Rose sighed,

"Edward listen, you have to help us get revenge on them three," I shook my head vigorously,

"No, give me one good reason why I should." I asked, everyone thought for a moment,

"Well they vandalised your car," Mike shouted. Everyone looked at him,

"How do you know?" Jasper asked,

"Yeah, how?" Aro questioned, Mike looked at Aro, taking in his appearance, black cloak and red eyes. Mike looked frantically around,

"Okay, who is this guy?" He shouted,

"Yeah, he is really freaky, he looks like he wants to eat us, or something," Lauren said. Aro gave out a dark chuckle out of the reality of it. I decided to read Aro's mind,

_DON'T EAT THE HUMANS DON'T EAT THE HUMANS_

"This is Aro, he is our uncle." I said the first thing I could think of.

"Oh okay," Eric said.

"So back on task, Mike how do you know they vandalised my car?" I questioned inquisitively, everyone swivelled their heads to look at him.

"Well I was on my way to the magazine store to buy my ga—it doesn't matter, and I saw Emmett painting your car pink and stuff," He explained,

"Well that doesn't mean anything I mean, Bella was with me, and Alice was with Jasper so, they might not of done anything!" I said. Everyone nodded, Jasper muttered,

"Stalker" under his breath, I smiled at him,

"You told me in the morning Jasper,"

"Oh yeah." He said.

"But when I went modelling," Everyone laughed, she silenced us all with a glare, "There was 2 men that looked like Bella and Alice and 1 women that looked like Emmett," She started, Rosalie cut in,

"But Emmett does have some feminine features I guess," We all nodded,  
"Okay, put your hand up if at your prank them three were there, or if there were 3 people that looked like them," Half of us put our hand up, "Okay put your hand up if Emmett, Alice and Bella were home alone on the day you got the phone call," Everyone put their hand up. "So let's go round to see what they have done, to rate the cruelty of the revenge prank **[A/N I decided it would be pranks, not a prank call] **We all formed a circle,

"They told me Emmett was gay," Carlisle said,

"They gave me a conditioner, for umm my dog that stunk," Me, Aro, Esme, Carlise, Rosalie and Jasper understood, we all laughed. Jacob growled.

"They called me saying that Edward loved me…" Mike blushed, not a beautiful colour like Bella's but a shade of red. This sent everyone into hysterics, Charlie murmured in the corner, he started to stir, he stood up, "Woo, what happened?" He asked, Renee looked down, we all explained to him what had happened, and filled him in on what we were doing,

"They rung and told me Bella was pregnant…with Emmett's baby" There were 'ooohhs'

"They told me they were a magazine company, and wanted a photoshoot with me, and did green screen on me **[A/N I hope you know what that is]" **

"Oh, so you aren't really a women with a dick?" Mike questioned out loud, Lauren stared at him coldly,

"NO"

_I bet she is_ **Eric**

_I think she is lying _**Jasper**

_Yeah right, I know she is _**Jessica**

_I will ask Tyler, he probably has been down her pants! _**Mike**

_DON'T EAT THE HUMANS, DON'T EAT THE HUMANS! _**Aro**

I realised Aro was doing quite good job, with his self control.

"Moving on, Paul what did they do to you," He looked down,

"They pretended to be anger management, and put a video of me admitting I abuse old ladies on the internet," Mike gasped,  
"THAT'S YOU?! On .com?!" Mike asked, Paul nodded,

"They pretended they were Lauren, and said for me to come to school in my pink boxers and to follow her around,"

"So that's why you were stalking me!" Lauren said, Eric nodded,

"They said they were a garden makeover show, and did my garden, but ruined it, but I think only Emmett did it," Esme said. I was next great,

"They painted my car pink, and wrote HONK IF YOU THINK I AM HOT on it, so I can't ride in it until it can be repainted," I said sadly, Aro looked really embarrassed at what he was about to say,

_Wow, Aro is feeling really embarrassed about something, _**Jasper**

"They pretended to be a dress company, and delivered a blue dress which I was forced to wear, and they took a picture," He said,

"YOU ARE A CROSS DRESSER?!" Carlisle asked, Aro looked down,

"THEY PAY GOOD,"

_And I have the right shape for it… _**Aro **

"They told me they were a emotional clinic and I was taken to a mental hospital for 3 weeks, until they finally realeased me." Jasper said, everyone laughed, imagining it.

"They said they were a make over crew, and dyed it green and pink." Rosalie said,

"They said they were TMA and I was awarded a award, for drag act," Jessica said, we all laughed.

"They said I had been invited to a geek convention, but they put it in the papers that it was a gay club for gays," Mr Banner said,

"They said Bella was on her deathbed and Charlie wanted me back," Charlie looked up,

"So that's why you punched me," He thought aloud, Renee blushed,

"Yeah, sorry about that!" Charlie nodded,

"So they have done rather mean stuff, so I think we should go all out," Lauren said, we all nodded,

"Okay, I think we should alter the plan, we can keep it but we have to do more,"

We all discussed what we would do, this was what we had decided we were going to do,

"Okay so, Team 1 will prank Bella, Team 2 will prank Alice and Team 3 will prank Emmett, then we will all meet and do the big prank." Eric announced, we all nodded in agreement.

"Let's all go," Jasper ordered,

"THIS WILL BE THE BEST PRANK EVER!"

BPOV

I have the feeling they are planning their revenge…

**REVIEW WHAT DO YOU THINK?**

**TEAMS WILL BE REVEALED NXT CHAPTER, ANY IDEAS ON THE PRANKS?? TEAMS?? THERE WILL BE 5 ON EACH TEAM. MORE REVIEW QUICKER UPDATE. I HAVE TO VISIT MY FRIEND IN HOSPITAL AT 6 SO REVIEW FAST I MIGHT UPDATE B4 THEN ******** REVIEW REVIEW.**

**I HAVE DECIDED TO ALTER MY MASTERPLAN, INSTEAD OF THEM CONTINUING PRANK CALLING PEOPLE, I THINK THEY SHOULD JUST PRANK PEOPLE. WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? REVIEW REVIEW**

**FAVE CHAPPY? REVIEW**


	35. REVENGE Part III

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT BLAH BLAH…..**

**Chapter 35**

EPOV

"Okay, does everyone understand what the teams are?" We all nodded, Mike however shook his head,

"Can you run through them again please." He asked, everyone sighed,

"Okay Team 1 pranking Bella, that is Lauren, Mike, Jacob, Aro and Mr Banner, Team 2 will prank Alice that consists of Paul, Carlisle, Renee, Jessica and Edward, Team 3 that will prank Emmett is Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and Eric,." Everyone looked at Mike,

"Did you get that Mike?" I asked, saying it jokingly slow. He nodded blushing,

"Thanks" He said,

"Okay, let's all go, you know what to do don't you guys?" Lauren asked, we all looked at Mike,

"YES WE DOO, STOP ASSUMING I AM DUMB AND TAKE LONG TO REALISE THINGS!!!" He shouted, I decided to annoy him,

"Mike we don't assume, we KNOW" This sent everyone into hysterics. Mike scowled ay me, this made me laugh more,

"Okay, guys, let's go." We all split up into our teams, We reached the garage,

"Edward, we have to take your car, it's the only one," Jacob said, smirking, knowing what was written on it. I grudidly handed him the keys, he ran into the garage, seconds later he pulled the car out, everyone gasped,

"Wow, Edward, I didn't know this is what they did! Poor you" Lauren said soothingly, I nodded looking down, not daring to look at my beloved Volvo, we all fitted into my car. Jasper sat at the front with me.

"So guys, does everyone know the plan?" Everyone nodded, Eric looked unsure,

"I will run through it one more time,"

_Stupid forgetful human _**Rosalie**

_DON'T EAT HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Control yourself _**Jasper**

"So we will wait until Emmett is alone, and kidnap him, making sure he can't see us. Then we will release him into a crowded area in a care home with old ladies and men, Jasper you will send waves of lust to him, and I will video it while he is making out with random old people." I explained, Eric looked shocked,

"How can you send waves of lust?" Eric questioned. What do I say? Jasper said something first though.

"Well, I am batman, don't tell anyone, and I have superpowers." He explained with a smile. I looked at Jasper, who would believe that?!

"I thought you were! I'm superman!" Eric exclaimed. I looked at Eric,

"Yeah…Eric no your not, sit back down and put your glasses back on, you are not superman, my nan is." I commanded. Eric looked at me.

"Your nan is superman?!" He asked in awe. I nodded,

"wow" I laughed,

_He is really gullible! _**Jasper**

_Wow, and I thought he couldn't get any more stupid! _**Rosalie**

I carried on driving.

"THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND ROUND AND ROUND…. THE WHEELS---" Eric yelled at the top of his voice,

"ERIC, I swear to god if you repeat that song again. I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!" Rosalie screeched. Eric whimpered. Good he shut up. After a few minutes Eric started to get bored. "Let's play I spy," He suggested,

"Fine,"

"I START" Eric shouted. I shook my head,

"Whatever." Eric started to frantically look around.

"I spy, with my little eye something beginning with E" He said. I thought for a moment, I then realised I could read his mind

_Edward Edward Edward Edward Edward _

"Is it me by any chance?" I asked, He shook his head. What the…

"Is it Edward, Eric?" Eric nodded,

"That's what I sa---" I stopped mid sentence and sighed.

"You know what Eric I'm bored let's stop," Eric looked down,

"Eric, I really don't know how your bus driver could cope, that's probably why he killed himself," Rosalie stated. Eric looked shocked,

"He died? Everyone told me he quit :(" Poor Eric. We continued playing 'I spy'. It was Eric's go, we had been guessing for ages,

"Eric, we give up, what is it?"

"CEILING!" He shouted,

"Oh really, well the problem there is, IT DOESN' START WITH AN 'S'!!!!!" Rosalie shouted.

"Yes it does!" Eric argued.

FINALLY REACHED THE DESTINATION…

We all got out of the car.

"Finally fresh air," Eric blushed,

"how many times, I didn't fart, it was Jasper!" He defended, we all laughed, we knew it wasn't Jasper, vampires, couldn't fart! I walked up to a building, music was blasting from it. I looked in the window, Emmett was dancing on his own. I ran in vampire speed, blindfolded him, and taped his hands and feet together. Emmett squealed like a girl. I picked him up and ran back to the car.

_WHERE THE HELL AM I?! _**Emmett**

"Emmett, you really need to loose some weight, mate" I advised, disguising my voice,

"I'll have you know this is muscle." He defended,

"mmhhmmm" I said sarcastically. We drove to the nearest nursing home, I unravelled Emmett's blindfold and untapped his hand. I quickly sprinted round the corner, this was where we were all spying on him. I brought out the camera, and pressed RECORD. Emmett looked around frantically,

"INVASION OF THE ELDERLY!" He shouted. We all burst out laughing. I nodded to Jasper, he started sending lust waves to Emmett, they got stronger and stronger. Emmett started making out with 2 old ladies, the ladies were taken by surprise, but allowed it. Emmett then stopped, and moved on to some old men, they agreed to let him do it as well. This was classic, Emmett went to man to woman for ages. He then went up to a 80 year old woman, and started frantically making out with her, the lady pushed him off her and shouted at the top of her voice, "RAPE, RAPE" Everyone stopped and stared at Emmett, They all bundled him, they pinned him down until the police came.

**HOW YOU LIKE? FAVE CHAPPY? HOPE YOU LIKE THE REVNEGE ON EMMETT! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW 10 PLUS ILL REVIEW TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!**


	36. REVENGE Part IV

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANYTHING IN IT

Chapter 36

The police soon came and arrested Emmett. One police officer grabbed hold of Emmett,

"Sir can you please come with me,"

"WHY, WHY?!"

"You have to sir,"

"WHY, WHY DO I HAVE TO?!" Emmett asked, the officer looked annoyed,

"You have made out with over 100 elderly women AND men without their permission! Emmett looked around, and pointed to a elderly man,

"He kissed me back," The elderly man nodded,

"He had tender lips," Emmett smiled, this was sick. The police officer started pulling Emmett out of the room,

"CAN YOU LET GO OF ME, YOU ARE MANHANDLING ME, I WILL CALL THE POLICE!" Emmett screeched. The police officer made no move to let go,

"I am the police," Emmett thought for a minute,

"Whatever, just testing you." He mumbled. The police officer carried Emmett out of the room and into a police car, we followed behind, camera in Eric's hand. Emmett was shoved into a cell,

"We could go get him out now," Eric said, we all looked at him,

"Yes, we could Eric, but we don't want to!"

JessicaPOV

We were on our way to prank Alice, we went to her favourite mall and stuck signs on the door reading USE OTHER DOOR and a arrow to the right, this was genious, we waited in the bushes waiting for Alice to come,

APOV

We had been in hiding for 3 days, Emmett had disappeared. God help him, he is probably locked away in a dungeon. We decided not to go find him, I mean anyone that could kidnap Emmett must be ridiculously strong, my phone began ringing, I looked at the Caller ID, unknown

**Hello….?**

_Hi this is Mall of America, I am calling to say there is a sale,_

**WHERE?!**

…

**TELL WHEN AND WHERE IT IS. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!!!!!!**

_*HANGUP*_

I rushed into our hotel room, Bella we need to go to the Mall of America, she nodded, probably because we haven't been out of our room for ages. We got into my Porsche and drove off. We soon reached there.

"Bella, wait in the car, I am going into shopping mode!" Bella nodded, I walked up to the entrance, there was a sign that read

USE OTHER DOOR

I went to the other door, it had the same sign on it. I went to the last door it said the same thing. What the… I tried pushing the door, it wouldn't budge. I saw a security guard hovering, I went up to him, he looked a bit like Carlisle,

"Excuse me, how do I get in?" He looked at me stupidly,

"Use the door," He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I nodded,

"Yeah I thought so to, BUT THE DOORS A LOCKED!!!" screeched, getting impatient, the security guard ran off. I took a run up and smahed through the I am in the mall. The security guard looked at me I smiled and ran to the nearest shop I picked up 5 items of clothing and ran up to the till, I placed my credit card in. it read DECLINED. What the hell?!

"HOW CAN IT BE DECLINED?! I USED IT YESTERDAY, WHY GOD WHY?!" I screamed breaking down. I decided to take the stuff and come back later. I ran into the car,5 security guards chasing me, "Drive BELLA DRIVE," She was sleeping, I slapped her, not that hard, but pretty hard, she woke up, and started driving fast out the car park,

"EAT MY DUST YOU SONS OF---" I stopped. The car suddenly stopped,

"BELLA?!" Bella looked at me,

"We are out of gas…" Crap. The security guards came to arrest me. One grabbed hold of Bella.

"Every woman for themselves" She whispered so only I could hear,

"Officers, I don't this lady, she jumped in my car, pointed a gun to my head and commanded me to drive!" She lied. How could she?

CarlislePOV

We had caught that all on tape, Bella was a clever girl! We ran home and went upstairs to Alice's room, got all her clothes, and chucked them out the window, I then walked out with a torched match, "Step back everyone, this could be dangerous, and me being the adult will do it…step bac--" I commanded

"FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST SET IT ALIGHT! !" Jessica screamed, I glared at her, I realised if I did this Alice would kill me when she found ot,

"You know what I am not prepared to set my daughter's clothes alight," He said stepping back, Renee walked forward, got the match and put it on the clothes, they started burning quickly,

"Let's just sit back and watch the show…" Renee said, Jessica looked around,

"Anyone got any marshmallows?"

**OKAY I THINK THIS IS THE MEANEST. SORRY TO ALL THE ALICE FANS, BUT I THOUGHT WHY NOT?! REVIEW REVIEW WHO DID YOU LIKE BEST EMMETTS OR THIS ONE? REVIEW**


	37. REVENGE Part V

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANYTHING I SAY… NOT EVEN ONE WORD I OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAD ISN'T IT**

**Chapter 36**

**APOV**

I had been in this asylum for weeks; I was starting to lose my sanity. I was in a cell. Surrounded by insane people, I swear they were edging closer every minute. Crazy Chris' eyes swivelled to me; I took an involuntary step back. He came towards me, he pulled out a knife. Oh sh*t. He squinted his eyes.

"I WILL EAT YOU!" He screamed. He would try to kill me with the knife, but it would bend, and then he would feast on my-still alive- human remains, so everyone would either think I have a really hard body, or he tried to kill me with a foam knife. Crazy Chris came closer and closer, this is how he was given his name.

"You fat filled thing!" He shouted. Too far Chris, Too far.

"I AM NOT FAT! THESE ARE CURVES! I AM A PETITE 5 STONE" I shouted, feeling my tummy. He looked at me like I was crazy, Me, crazy…! Has he met himself yet..? He was really close to me now, he then walked straight past me, I turned around,

"Are you going to eat that?" He asked, pointing to a half eaten chocolate bar. I shook my head, I picked it up and handed it to him, my hands trembling, I looked at the knife in his hand,

"Why do you need a knife for?" I asked, he looked at me, eyes wide,

"DO I ASK WHAT THE HELL YOU DO WHEN YOU ZONE OUT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES?! NO, but it's so I can kill Peppy Pete later," He explained, I nodded, I noticed there was blood on his knife,  
"Why is there blood already on there?" I asked,

"Well, Stacey looks A LOT like Pete!" I nodded,

"It's the strong jaw line isn't it?"

"Yeah, and the arms, I mean like muscles!," He added

"You know what, could you kill Psycho Phil, he is really annoying!" I said, Chris nodded. He was about to put the chocolate bar in his mouth, it had been on the toilet,

"Chris that---" I started, but he had put it in his mouth, "Don't worry," I said inwardly vomiting. I saw Maniac Martin sitting in the corner, with a piece of A4 paper, He had wrote things on it, I walked up to him,

"What you doing?" I asked,

"Planning to break out, wanna help?" He asked. I nodded, and I went and sat beside him,

"What you come up with so far?" I asked,

"Dig out, with a spoon, Don't worry, it will only take, 25 years, 30 days and 5 seconds," I got up,

"Sorry, but I have something to do in my life!" I said,

"When I am on the other side off that wall, you will not be laughing! You will be crying, thinking why didn't I go with Martin.!" He said

"You got to stop thinking that will happen, because it won't…!" I said. Snapping him back into reality. He shook his head and muttered,  
"Just you wait."

**JacobPOV**

We were on our way to set up Bella's prank, I couldn't wait. I should record this, so when me and Bella are married, we could look back at our funny times together. We would be married one day, Even if I have to kill Edward.

For the prank we first had to go to their hotel room, and steal Bella's keys, Bella was with Edward, traitor. I snuck in,

"Is it getting hot in here?" Bella asked soon-to-be dead Edward, but of course, I am quite hot…OH she meant physically, not visually. We will work on that later.

"I smell dog," Edward said, sticking his nose in the air, I placed my hand in her pocket, and ran out of the house.

**BPOV**

Where the fudge is my car keys?!

**JacobPOV**

"HOW COULD HE SMELL ME, I WASHED, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES!" I screamed, "I AM WEARING A NEW COLGNE! CALVEIN KLEIN," Mike looked at me,

"Smells lovely, do you have any spares," Mike asked

"Yeah, sure drop by mine later, I have plenty." I said. I waited for the car to start.

I ran into the car,

"DRIVE, DRIVE," I commanded, Mike started the engine, "FASTER MIKE FASTER!" I screamed. Mike scrambled.

"I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!" He said shaking; Lauren shoved him out of the seat, causing him to fall out the car door, falling to the ground with a loud thud. Lauren started it in seconds,

"COME ON DRIVE," I shouted, everyone looked at me,

"I need to do my make up," She whined,

"HEARD OF MULTITASKING?! I THOUGHT SO! And trust me darling, make-up doesn't make you look any better…" I advised

"What about Mike?" They all asked, I shook my head,

"He was just a burden, leave him," By the time I finished Mike had crawled back into the car. Damn. I thought.

We drove to Bella's house, I jumped in her car, Mike followed,

"Holy hell Mike, why oh why did you come in this car?!" I asked, he shrugged. I ignored him and started driving to our destination,

"82 BOTTLES OF BEER ON A WALL IF ONE FELL OF THERE WOULD 81 BOTTLES OF BEER." He sang, he had started on 500,

"MIKE SAY ONE MORE THING, YOUR HEAD, WILL COME IN CONTACT WITH THAT CAR DOOR!" I threatened; Mike straightened up, leaning away from me. We reached our destination in a few minutes; I stepped out the car,

"Thank God, high school musical starts to get annoying after 2 hours!" I said, everyone laughed. Mike blushed,

"You were only in the car for 10 minutes," Lauren pointed out,

"one minute is like and hour with Mike! Have you met him?!" I said, Lauren looked down,

"Yes, I have unfortunately have." Lauren stated Mike blushed,

"It's not my fault my sister watched it repetitively anyway," He defended,

"Mike you don't have a sister…" Lauren said giggling. Mike scowled.

"Okay, guys, we need to decorate Bella's car, has anyone got any glitter?" I asked, Mike lifted up his top, he had a belt with thousands of glitter bottles,

"What colour, white, blue, green, pink, I have lots of pink, turquoise, burgundy…" He trailed off, shoving his shirt down quickly, "It's my sisters…" He said. We used his glitter, to write and customise Bella's car.

"Lauren did you just spill pink paint on the green side?" I asked. She looked at me,

"Umm—Well" She started. I shook my head,

"No it's good, do some more." I praised. Mike looked at me,

"It was all my idea!" He shouted. I nodded. He smiled back. I stuck my middle finger up at him.

**MikePOV**

"Hey, Lauren what does that mean?" I said pointing to Jacob's hand,

**JacobPOV**

We had finished Bella's car, it was now bright pink, with green splodges, red stripes, and a drippy rainbow, with hippy flowers, we had written in bright orange glitter,

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR! This was genius; we drove back to the house. And ordered a crane to be put outside our house, we suspended Bella's remodelled car above the house. Mike held the camera, he was shaking, violently,

"MIKE WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOUR HAND?!" I asked.

"I am scared."

"Of what, poisonous squirrels?" I asked sarcastically, he looked around frantically,

"There are poisonous squirrels?" He asked jumping up, I pulled him down. Bella walked out the door,

**BPOV**

I walked out the hotel, and Edward ran me back to my house, I was about to enter. Edward was by my side. Edward entered first, gallons of pink paint, green feathers and silver glitter came gushing down, covering him, from head to toe. He was furious. I decided not to enter. I looked up, the sun was bouncing off, something metal, I looked closely, HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP…

"Edward!" I shouted, he had disappeared.

"WHOEVER DID THIS, YOU BETTER RUN!!!"

**MikePOV**

"Crap, RUN" I shouted.

**HOW YOU LIKE? ONE OF YOUR FAVES? TELL ME YOUR FAV CHAPTER,**

**SHOULD NEXT CHAPTER BE THE LAST CHAPTER? OR SHOULD I CONTINUE. I WANT TO HAVE AT LEAST 3 REVIEWS IN 10 HOURS!!!! SO REVIEW REVIEW**

**MIGHT END STORY. IF YOU DON'T WANT IT TO END. REVIEW**


	38. POWER OF FREEDOM

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**OR ANYTHING IN THIS STORY**

**UPSETTING! BUT WHATEVA!**

**ALL BELONGS TO **

**Chapter 38**

_**BPOV**_

_I walked out the hotel, and Edward ran me back to my house, I was about to enter. Edward was by my side. Edward entered first, gallons of pink paint, green feathers and silver glitter came gushing down, covering him, from head to toe. He was furious. I decided not to enter. I looked up, the sun was bouncing off, something metal, I looked closely, HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP…_

"_Edward!" I shouted, he had disappeared._

"_WHOEVER DID THIS, YOU BETTER RUN!!!"_

_**MikePOV**_

"_Crap, RUN" I shouted._

**BPOV**

I stormed into the house, whoever did this…you will die! I ran into my room, and stepped into the closet, I entered the passcode, and I stepped into the closet, I walked up into my secret shelf and picked up my chainsaw, I thought I would never use this. I turned around, Edward was standing there, shaking his head,

"Bella what are you doing with that chainsaw Bella," I could see the look of fear in his eyes. Probably not in fear of his safety, but mine. I understood, here I was a 5 foot girl **[A/N: She probably isn't] **with a massive chainsaw,

"Bella, I will repeat, what are you doing with that chainsaw?" He asked. I looked down,

"Well I am, umm—cutting trees," He looked at me pointedly.

"Bella--" He said, seeing through my innocent disguise.

"Fine, I wanted to kill the person that did that to my beloved car," I said, a tear escaping my eye, Edward placed his arm around my shoulder,

"Bella, come on, your car would of died anyway," He said soothingly. I shook my head,

"It was a car that needed to be treated by respect…." Edward nodded,

"It was a car that needed to be destroyed," He said. I slapped his arm, my finger started stinging, Edward immediately placed his cool fingers, I winced at the temperature. He immediately snapped it back,

"Sorry," He apologized immediately, I shook my head,

"No, it's okay, I just think I might of broken my finger," I moaned, he looked down, wrapping his fingers around my finger, I relaxed, his cool temperature felt nice, against my swollen finger,

"We better get you to the hospital," Edward said, I shook my head,

"No, that is like my second home, I'm not going there again," I argued, He dragged me along, we started to walk out the door, as we walked out, buckets of pink paint and silver glitter fell on my head,

"WHAT THE HELL, HOW CAN THEY HAVE MORE SUPPLIES!!!" Edward shouted. I looked at Edward, he was worse, he had glue poured on him and pink feathers on him, I broke into laughter. We walked into the car and drove to the hospital. As I entered Edward walked up to the desk. The lady behind laughed,

"Do you find our appearance funny? Because yours is quite comical!" I shouted, everyone looked at me,

"Bella sit down over there," Edward commanded. I shook my head,

"No, I am standing my ground!" I snapped, Edward looked at me, realising it was the first time I had disagreed with him, he nodded.

"So pink feathered chicken and pink girl, what wrong" The lady behind the desk said. A doctor walked up behind the desk,

"Oh hey Bella, what have you done now?" He asked, I didn't recognize him,

"Why do you assume it's me? And how do you know my name, you aren't a stalker are you, because my list is getting ridiculously full" I said seriously. He shook his head, I caught the slight glow off of his face. I gasped. He was a vampire, he was quite cute, he had dimples. I was mesmorized, Edward saw me staring,

"Hi I am Edward, Bella's BOYFRIEND, and how do you know her, because I am running out of room in my closet to put the bodies," He stressed the word boyfriend, I laughed and slipped my fingers in his hand. The doctor nodded, looking a bit scared at Edward's threat.

"Well there is posters everywhere of you," I looked at him,

"Excuse me?" I asked, He pointed to a piece of paper on the wall, I walked over to it, and read it:

**BELLA SWAN**

**SHE IS A DAILY VISITOR**

**WHO IS ACCIDENT PRONE, IF YOU SEE HER**

**SEND HER STRAIGHT TO MINOR INJURIES WARD,**

**SHE TENDS TO OVER EXAGERATE, **

**SOMETIMES MISTAKING A BROKEN NAIL FOR A BROKEN ARM**

How insulting?! "OKAY, FOR ALL YOUR INFORMATION IT WAS HARD TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, I DON'T HAVE A DOCTORS DEGREE!" I shouted, all patients looked at me. I smiled.

"So, Bella what's wrong?" Mr Humphrey said,

"Oh, I think I might of broken my finger,

**EmPOV **

I was still in jail. A officer walked in,

"Mr Cullen, you are allowed to go now," He said. I jumped about 2 foot in the air,

"REALLY?!"

"No, I just say that to mass murderers to get their hopes up," He said sarcastically, I ran out my cell. I walked up to Murderer Marvin's cell,

"Hear that Marvin? I am going," I said, sticking my tongue out, He made his way to me, a knife in his hand. Aww man.

"I mean, you know, umm- don't kill me, bye," I stammered. I made my way out of the jail, before I went I had to say something,

"Hey Officer Poopsalot, What is up with your name?" I joked, he glared at me. I made my way out the jail,

"I AM FREE," I shouted, celebrating my freedom, three officers started chasing me,

"Mr Cullen, can you please step back inside please," One said, I ran full sprint, for a human.

"NO YOU HAVE SET ME FREE, TOO LATE," I ran back to the hotel, where me, Alice and Bella had been hiding out,.

**AlicePOV **

I decided to go along with Maniac Martin's plan, We had started, we were I 1 day into it. We had built a metre deep hole, we only had a ballpoint pen to dig with, Manic Martin was sitting on the side, eating pizza, with a knife and fork.

"So are you going to help? We have been doing this for 24 hours, and you have done anything, Martin looked at me,

"Excuse me, didn't the first 5 minutes mean anything?" He asked, I rolled my eyes,

"Yes because walking over to find the pen, is an achievement!" I said sarcastically, He nodded, thinking I meant it. A warden walked in,

"What are you doing?" She asked, I looked around frantically, Martin looked pitifully at me,

"Well---umm, I was creating a sand pit," I lied, the warden nodded,

"Okay, Ms Cullen, you are free to go," Before she could say anything else I sprinted out the doors,

"HAHAH GUYS, I AM CUREDDDDDDD" I screamed at the top of my voice, I made my way to the hotel, where we were all hiding out.

BPOV

After the visit to the hospital Edward and I decided to make our way back to the hotel. As we entered I noticed Emmett and Alice were sitting down, as soon as they saw me they ran up and hugged me. They saw Edward.

"Oh hey, Edward," **[A/N they haven't quite realised they were all targets to revenge pranks] **Emmett greeted. Edward nodded,

"So, what happened to you guys?" I asked,

"Well, I made out with some elderly people and was put in jail for sexual harassment," Emmett said, embarrassed, I laughed,

"Well, I kinda broke into a mall, and was put into a asylum,"

"I told you, you would end up there," Emmett muttered, there was a sharp slapping noise, It was so hard, Emmett face, turned red. I laughed, they all looked at me,

"Someone covered my car in glitter and paint." I said, mine wasn't nearly as bad as theirs, but I was still distraught.

"What a coincidence," Emmett thought aloud. I sighed,

"Emmett, you idiot, everyone knows we were prank calling them, and they want to get us back!" Alice stated, I nodded, Emmett looked at Edward,

"Then why isn't Edward in on it?" Emmett asked, Edward shook his head,

"Well, I am a nice man." Edward said. We all scoffed.

"I think we should get payback…"

"But, technically we are even because, we pranked them so they pranked us back. SO TECHNICALLY…" I started, Emmett interrupted me,

"BELLA, DO I LOOK TECHNICAL?! I THOUGHT NOT! WE NEED TO PRANK THEM BACK!"

**HOW DO YOU LIKE?? ONE OF YOUR FAVE CHAPPTERS? I DOUBT IT, BUT REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I NEED AT LEAST 10 REVIEW TILL I CONTINUE.**


	39. PAYBACK PART I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT…! NEVER WILL**

**I HAVE TRIED. BUT I CAN'T!!!!! IT WON'T HAPPEN,**

**ALL BELONGS TO .**

**THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS I HAD TWENTY OMG THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY REVIEWERS IN THE LAST CHAPTER….**

**Annabella1901lover**

**Alice-Cullen-Twila-Reader**

**Blossimbiscut23**

**Plum408**

**HollylovesTwilightMoeThanYou**

**oX Pixie Girl Xo**

**Jadecus**

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**Misscullenwannabe95**

**Karlene**

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**Reyrey95**

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**Amber aka alice**

**Raven Jadewolfe**

**Jasperluvr95**

**Jenlovestwilight**

**Klutz xoxo**

**THEY ARE WHY I AM UPDATING!!!!**

**______________________________________________________________**

**Chapter 39**

"_Emmett, you idiot, everyone knows we were prank calling them, and they want to get us back!" Alice stated, I nodded, Emmett looked at Edward,_

"_Then why isn't Edward in on it?" Emmett asked, Edward shook his head,_

"_Well, I am a nice man." Edward said. We all scoffed._

"_I think we should get payback…"_

"_But, technically we are even because, we pranked them so they pranked us back. SO TECHNICALLY…" I started, Emmett interrupted me,_

"_BELLA, DO I LOOK TECHNICAL?! I THOUGHT NOT! WE NEED TO PRANK THEM BACK!"_

EPOV

Emmett jumped up and picked up a notebook, and jumped back on the bed.

"Emmett, why do we need a notebook?" I asked,

_Is he an idiot? _**Emmett **

I looked at him,

"Well I was obviously going to write our plans," He explained, I still was confused,

_Please, do not tell me he still doesn't understand! He can be soo thick! _**Emmett**

I scowled at him.

"FOR GODS SAKE EDWARD, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A DEGREE IN DOCTOROMENTRY," Emmett said, I looked at him weirdly,

_He doesn't even know Doctoromentry is?! _**Emmett**

I looked at him.

"Maybe because, it isn't a word!" I shouted. He shook his head

_He should look in a thesaurus! _**Emmett**

_Can't Emmett construct a sentence, without giving the impression he is an idiot?_**Alice**

"Emmett, I would use a thesaurus, but considering it would be no use, I would use a dictionary. Actually, I wouldn't considering doctormentry IS NOT A WORD," I screamed the last bit. I was getting really impatient with him. He shrugged.

_Obviously not, _**Alice**

I could see Bella tapping her feet, I knew this meant she was annoyed, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, "What's wrong my love?" I asked soothingly, she shook her head,

"So Emmett, why exactly do we need a notebook?" I asked, Emmett turned his head,

"I am sorry but I am not talking to Edward," Emmett said, directing it to Alice and Bella. I sighed,

"Why exactly are you not talking to me?" I asked, "Not that I mind," I added quickly. He ignored me

"Was that the wind? Because I know that wasn't Bella or Alice, or my brother Jasper," That was cold,

"Ouch, that hurt Emmett," I said. He looked straight through me,

"Alice, please can you tell Edward that I did not physically touch him, therefore I could not have inflicted any pain on him, so I don't know why he said Ouch!" He explained,

_What the Hell, That could not be Emmett, I must of imagined it. That is the cleverest thing he has ever said, _**Alice**

I nodded in agreement. Bella crossed her arms,

"Tell him yourself," She said stubbornly. I laughed.

"I'd rather born," Emmett said stubbornly, "He can hear he has abnormally superhearing ears," Emmett said, I sighed,

"Emmett so do you," I answered,

"God, Shut UP," Emmett demanded, I sighed again,

"Okay, let's change the subject back, why do you have a notepad Emmett?" Bella asked. Emmett sighed,

"Well, they might hear us," he said, I looked around automatically. I couldn't see anything,

"Who can hear us Emmett?" I questioned, he completely ignored me,

"Who can hear us Emmett?" Alice repeated. Emmett smiled at Alice,

"Well, I can tell you my dear sibling Alice, it's so the walls can't hear us," He explained.

_There's Emmett _**Alice**

"Emmett, wall don't have ears!" Alice said. Emmett shook his head,

"Yes they do, you know the saying, the walls will be listening," He explained. I placed my head in my hands,

"Emmett, they call it a saying, because it's a metaphor," Bella explained gently. Emmett looked at her pointedly,

"Bella, does it look like I am clever? I thought not!" He said, admitting he is dumb. I laughed. Emmett silenced me with a glare.

"Emmett, the walls won't be listening," I said, I got up and walked over to him, grabbed his notebook, Emmett came sprinting after me, I stood by the window, he rammed into me, we both fell through the window, we crashed and tumbled to the ground, I got up and sprinted into the bedroom, Emmett was soon behind me. I stood by the window,

"Emmett don't come any closer, or I will drop it," I threatened.

_Is Emmett stupid, If Edward does drop it he could go run get it! _**Alice **

Emmett edged closer,

"You just wouldn't listen," I said sweetly as I threw the notepad as far as I could, out the window, Emmett scowled, and dashed through the window to get it. He would kill me.

30 MINUTES LATER….

BPOV

Emmett returned, looking upset, "I couldn't find it," he mumbled, I went and hugged him,

"It's okay to mourn Em," I said soothingly, he bent down on his knees,

"Thanks," He started sobbing, "Okay, Martin**, [A/N: his notebook name was Martin] **You were amazing, we had good times, remember I would write in you, we had a laugh, even though you couldn't physically laugh. I knew you were, I am quite the comedian." He started, "You were my best notebook, after Pete, the pink fluffy one, but I thought my family would respect you, like I had, but obviously, some people didn't" He finished, glaring at Edward.

"So, let's move on, Emmett, Martin would of wanted you to," I said, I can't believe I said that, Emmett nodded glumly,

"Okay, so what shall we pay them back with?" Alice asked. We thought for a while,

**[A/N Sorry it took so long for the prank planning but I thought It would be really short so review and say whether you prefer short chapters]**

"Well I think we should make them all go into one room, and pour paint, glue and feathers on them?" Alice suggested,

"Maybe," I agreed, I looked Emmett, "Any suggestions?" I asked,

"Umm, we could take all their favourite possessions, and give them to a wolf, but not, Jake and Paul we can put their valuables in Italy by the Volturi, they wouldn't dare go near them because they would kill them so," Emmett suggested,

"That's a good idea," I said, " I think we should turn them on each other, by out smarting them, by rubbing the smell of the items on someone elses clothes, so they blame each other, and probably prank each other, and forget about us." I said, everyone nodded, I looked at my love,

"Edward?" I asked, he looked like he was in thought, Emmett scoffed,

"Do we have to listen to him?" He asked, I nodded, he huffed, and slumped down in his chair, Edward stuck his tongue out at Emmett, and continue.

"Well I think we should prank call some of them, and make them try and find out who it was, they would probably think it's the other people that had not been prank called," Emmett was 'lalalala'ing all throughout Edwards idea, he removed his hands from his ears, even though he probably could of heard. Emmett looked around,

"So what are we doing," I thought for a minute,

"Okay, we wil--" I began, Alice cut me off,

"WELL WE WILL COMBINE ALL THESE PRANKS TO MAKE A GREAT BIG ONE!" She shouted,

"Fine, you can say it then," I mumbled.

**HOW YOU LIKE??? FAVE CHAPPY? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I AM GOING TO FRANCE FOR A WEEK IN 5 DAYS, SO I WILL TRY TO UPDATE 3 OR MORE TIMES BEFORE I GO, IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW MANY REVIEW I GET! SO REVIEW.**

**SHOULD I WAIT UNTIL I COME BACK IN A WEEK AND A BIT? REVIEW TELL ME**


	40. Stage 1 Accomplished

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, AFTER HAVING A CHAT WITH SHE SAID I NEVER WILL OWN TWILIGHT. WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT, I WILL NICK EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAH**

**A/N THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW GUYS, I HAVE HAD LIKE 24 REVIEWS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, IT'S NICE TO KNOW YOU READ THIS STORY!! TANKS TO ALL THE NEW REVIEWERS AS WELL! AND OF COURSE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS REVIEW LIKE**

**PLEASE R&R**

**Chapter dedicated to my first 5 reviewers:**

**xCxBubblezx, blossimbiscut23, HollylovesTwilightMoreThanYou, **

**Raven Jadewolfe. Whisper Marie**

**HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR CHAPPY GUYS!**

**NEXT 5 GET NEXT CHAPPY DEDICATED TO THEM**

**Chapter 40 **

"_Well I think we should prank call some of them, and make them try and find out who it was, they would probably think it's the other people that had not been prank called," Emmett was 'lalalala'ing all throughout Edwards idea, he removed his hands from his ears, even though he probably could of heard. Emmett looked around,_

"_So what are we doing," I thought for a minute,_

"_Okay, we wil--" I began, Alice cut me off,_

"_WELL WE WILL COMBINE ALL THESE PRANKS TO MAKE A GREAT BIG ONE!" She _shouted,

"Fine, you can say it then," I mumbled.

EPOV

Alice smiled at Bella,

"If you wish," She said sarcastically. I felt really bad, I was double crossing them, I was a spy, but I don't get how they pranked me as well. I knew I had to get them three back for pranking all of us, so I guess it wasn't that bad an idea,

_What's up with Edward, _**Alice**

_I hope Edward doesn't hurt himself with all that thinking. _**Emmett**

I scowled at him, he stuck his tongue out.

"Emmett, I wish you would stop being so childish," Once again he ignored me. I decided to let it pass, My phone started vibrating, I moved awkwardly, as the shock of the vibration stunned me. **[A/N he has vampire vibration so he can feel it!] **Everyone saw me shaking,

_What the hell? He does know Bella is on the other side of the room, he could do it when she wasn't here, but now, that's jjust stupid! _**Emmett**

_He is humping the air. What the hell! _**Alice,**

"Guys, get your head out of the gutter! It's my phone vibrating," I said venom coating my words, Emmett looked confused,

"What, my head isn't in the gutter? What are you talking about?" Emmett questioned. I sighed,

"So your talking to me now?" I said sarcastically, Emmett stared at me,

"NOOO I am talking to the air! Of course I am, Einstein. And people tell me I'm dumb!" He said,

"Emmett you are," Alice said,

"So, Emmett, were you or were you not, imagining me humping the air?" I said,

_This could be fun _**Emmett**

"No, you probably were," Emmett said, mocking innocence. Bella believed it, she looked at me astonished.

"Edward?" She questioned. I shook my head, she didn't notice,

"Maybe, you aren't giving him enough Bella," Emmett said, wiggling his eyebrows, Bella blushed and looked down, I wrapped my arm around her and whispered discreetly in her ear,

"Don't worry love" and kissed her. She nodded. My phone was surprisingly still vibrating, the ringtone started to play, it was my favourite song.

_I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie wooorld it's fantastic, _I looked at Emmett, he had changed it, he smirked at me. Idiot. I picked it up

**BPOV**

Edward picked up his phone…

**MysteryCaller **_Edward_

_Hello…?_

**Hey Edward, It's Jake**

_What do you want?_

**Well, have you done your job yet,?**What job? I looked at Edward, he shook his head, and mouthed, 'It's my nan,' I realised he didn't have one, why would he lie about being on the phone to Jake? I mean I don't get that excitable.

**FLASHBACK**

_Edward picked up my home phone, "Hey mutt," I knew it was Jacob, I raced to the phone, Edward placed it high in the air, where I couldn't reach,_

"_Edwarddd" I whined, he shook his head and mouthed, Bad influence, Screw that, Jake was my best friend,_

"_Edward give me the phone," I demanded, he shook his head, "EDWARD GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN PHONE!" I said screaming louder, he still shook his head, I disappeared out the room, and entered with a baseball bat, Edward retreated, I smashed the baseball bat over his head, It shattered. Damn. I was angry. Who does Edward think he is, refusing to let me speak to my friend! I ran up to him and climbed on his back, I started repeatedly biting him. This had no effect, I started running round the room, throwing whatever I could reach at him, every time he would just skilfully doge it. After a while I stopped. Edward calmly brought the phone back to his ear and said, "Bye Seth," What? He then placed it back on the cradle. Edward began walking out, he turned around and looked at me, "So, Bella, you clearing all this up," He said gesturing to the trashed room. _

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

That's when Edward has stopped me speaking to Jake, if Edward picks up. It's understandable.

_What job? _My husband better not be a prostitute! I thought. He wouldn't do that would he, I mean he is rich. But he could pay a female prostitute! No Bella think happy thoughts. Bunny Bunny Bunny Lollipop Bunny Bunny flowers.

**Spying on Alice, Emmett and Bella? SO we can prank them back?**

_Why would I do that, _He said, trying to sound innocent, I knew he was sent here,

**Because that was the only reason you went to find them **Edward looked around at us,

_*hang up* _

"Some weird salesman" He said, Emmett looked at him suspiciously I knew he heard.

"I thought it was your nan?" I said, slitting my eyes, Edward looked flustered,

"It was, My nan is a salesman!" He said, I narrowed my eyes further,

"I thought you said it was a man?" I questioned.

"Sex change," Edward answered quickly. We nodded, I winked at Emmett and mouthed, go along with it, he nodded.

"Okay, THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF, YOU HAD A NAN!" Alice said, obviously not seeing me, Edward looked around,

"Well, she has been undercover salesman and loner." He said, Alice nodded.

Emmett jumped up, "Edward, let's play ball!" Edward nodded, thinking he had gotten away with it. Emmett grabbed an apple and started making his way outside, Edward followed hesitantly,

"Edward go long," Edward sprinted away, but was still in sight, "LONGER," Emmett screamed, Edward further, but he was still in sight, "LONGER, WHAT DO YOU THINK I THROW LIKE, A GIRL?!" **[A/N no offence to girl's, I am a girl, but its something Emmett would say] **Edward ran further, he was now out of sight, Emmett returned inside . "That got rid of the traitor," Emmett said, I thought for a minute.

"Guys, I think we should play the prank on them now, before Edward returns, Time check Alice please," Alice zoned out,

"He will wait for 3 hours, and then start searching for 4 hours, so we have like 7 hours roughly," She said, I nodded,

"Let's go," I commanded.

"So what's the plans?" Alice asked,

"Well, we will prank call one of them, and make them think it's like 4 people in the group, so they will be easier to prank in little groups. That's stage one!" Emmett started,

"Stage two?" Alice asked. Emmett looked at her…

"Well the next stage, Stage 3 is to take each of their best possessions and we will rub the scent on another person, so they will all turn on each other." Emmett finished, We all nodded,

"Okay guys, time for Stage 1!" I announced. "Who shall we prank call?" I asked, Emmett thought for a minute,

"I think Paul, because he is very temperamental and won't be near the others,"

"True," Alice agreed, I got my phone and started dialling Paul's number,

**Paul **_Bella, Alice and Emmett_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is Dorothy,_

**Who the hell is Dorothy?**

_I am the old lady you knocked down yesterday, _I said, hoping he knocks down an elderly person on a daily basis,

**Sorry about that, I was in a rush**

_What for? Going to the sweet store for a lolly?_

**Yeah **He said embarrassed

_Well, I am claiming insurance as I am paralysed for life,_

**Oh my God, I am so sorry, **

_It's okay, I mean it isn't for life, I am better now, but I mean I won't tell them that, pensions aren't to great Nowadays_

***laugh***

_So sonny boy, who are you with? Your mum_

**Well all my friends…no one,**

_Well okay then…_

This was my cue to shout, "RENEE, CAN JACOB CAN I HAVE SOME CHIPS?" I said, imitating Eric's voice, Alice then imitated Renee's voice,

"NO, WE ARE PRANK CALLING SHHHH"

**Guys…what the hell? Why are you prank calling me. Have you formed there own group now? Fine I will call the others…**

***hangs up***

We now need to call someone else, it can't be Paul," I said,

"How about, Carlisle?" Alice suggested. I nodded,

"Okay, Alice can you see the teams?" I questioned, she nodded,

"It's Paul, Jessica, Lauren, Jasper and Rosalie on one, Charlie, Renee, Eric and Jacob on another and Aro, Mike, Carlisle and Mr Banner on the third." She confirmed. We all nodded, I rang Carlisle's number,

**Carlisle **_Bella, Emmett and Alice_

**Hello…?**

_Hello this is doctor splat_

**Do I know you?**

_YOU DON'T KNOW ME, WE HAVE WORKED TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS!_

**I have never seen you **He stated strongly,

_Whatever, that's for another day, Well, I have burst the heart of a patient what should I do?_

**Order a coffin…**

_They are still alive…_

"PAUL, THEY WOULD BE DEAD YOU IDIOT," I shouted, imitating Jessica's whiny voice,

"YEAH, YOU ARE SO STUPID," Emmett said, sounding freakishly like Lauren,

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T PRANK CALL, ME AND JASPER SAID WE WOULD DO IT!" I said imitating Rosalie's voice,

**Paul, Jessica, Lauren, Jasper?**

_Aww crap… _

_*hang up*_

I high fived Alice.

"Good job," They are now planning revenge on each other, as we speak. Time for stage 2!" Alice announced. We all nodded, It had been 6 hours, wow really?

"Guys, Edward will be back soon, remember?" I reminded, Alice looked at her watch,

"Oh yeah, thanks Bella," She picked up the phone,

**Is this a Locksmith**

_Yes Ma'am_

**Good I need my locks changing Hotel Babylon [A/N had to say!] 32****nd**** floor Room 3245**

_You sound pretty, wanna go out?_

**Listen, I pay you to change my locks, not flirt okay, **

_I could pay… _He started trailing off, realising it was a bad idea,

**When you come, ask for Bella**

_Is that you then?_

**No**

***hang up***

**EPOV **

I had been out here for 7 hours now, for some reason I don't think that ball will come…

I made my way back to the apartment. I put my key in the door, it would work, it had been changed, who would do that? Unless they knew I was a spy!

_I can't believe Edward was a spy… I mean lalalalalalal _**Emmett**

That was all I needed to know. Well they don't know that I know they know!

**HOW YOU LIKE. THIS WAS VERYYYYYYY LONG… EVERYONE SAID THEY LIKED LONG CHAPTERS… SO I DID A LONG ONE. I NEED AT LEAST 10-15 REVIEWS. SO REVIEW. AND I WILL UPDATE BEFORE I GO TO FRANCE (FOUR DAYS) SO REVIEW REVIEW**


	41. Stage 2 Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT,**

**STEPEHENIE MEYER DOES! NOT MEEE **

**BUT I DO LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER!!!! I WILL OWN HIM ONE DAY!**

_**Previously**_

_**EPOV **_

_I had been out here for 7 hours now, for some reason I don't think that ball will come…_

_I made my way back to the apartment. I put my key in the door, it would work, it had been changed, who would do that? Unless they knew I was a spy!_

_I can't believe Edward was a spy… I mean lalalalalalal __**Emmett**_

_That was all I needed to know. Well they don't know that I know they know!_

**Chapter 41**

**Dedicated to: **

**Blossimbiscut23**

**Misscullenwannabe95**

**Reneesmay**

**JazzyLuver**

**Karlene**

**Jenlovestwilight (I don't want thirsty Jasper after me!)**

**TEAMEJforeverloveTWILIGHT**

**APOV**

After the locksmith came we heard footsteps outside.

"Everyone. Be quiet," I whispered sharply. Bella and Emmett nodded,

"Don't think of anything" Bella commanded us. Daisy Daisy Poppy Poppy I chanted in my head.

"What should I think of?" Emmett said in a panicked voice. I thought for a minute,

"Well, I would say count to ten in French, but you barely know English so think of Rosalie, that will keep him out of you head, actually, that will be really obvious, count back from ten." I said jokingly. Emmett nodded and immediately started counting down. He paused,

"What is after 19?" He questioned,

"Emmett, just count from ten," Bella suggested,

"I was…" Emmett replied. I sighed. The footsteps outside started to fade,

"False alarm, it wasn't Edward," I said. Suddenly there was key in the lock. Crap,

I heard Edward's distant voice, "What the…" He said, confused because his key was not working. He hovered by the door, and knocked on the door. I signalled to Emmett and Bella to keep quiet and mouthed 'No ones in' They nodded,

"NO ONE'S IN" Emmett shouted. I slapped him, Edward heard and realised we had done this on purpose.

"Emmett let me in," Edward shouted. Emmett made his way to the door and opened it, keeping the chain lock on. The door opened a couple of inches,

"I am sorry, but I do not know you." Emmett said. Edward sighed,

"Emmett! I am your brother" Emmett looked at us,

"Shut the door," I whispered sharply,

"Au revoir," Emmett said, and shut the door on Edward. We heard him hover outside, and then his footsteps faded.

"Guys I hope you blocked your mind," Bella asked. Emmett hesitantly nodded, I was interrupted by a vision

_*VISION: Edward made his way to Paul, Jessica, Lauren, Jasper and Rosalie and started telling them about our plans*_

"Guys. Edward is telling them our plan," I said,

"Well we should go try do Stage 2 and see if it works," We all agreed. We ran to the dressing room and dressed in black clothes, Emmett had forced us to wear,

"Emmett, must we wear these?" I whined. He nodded.

"It's so they can't see us, and of course to add to the Mission Impossible effect," He stated. I sighed, We all got into my Porsche, and made our way to the Cullen house. I looked back from my driver seat,

"Guys, they have split into 3 groups, so at our house there will be Group 1, that is Paul, Jessica, Lauren, Jasper and Rosalie," I noticed Bella wince when I said Jessica and Lauren,

"Don't worry Bella, Also Edward will be there, and probably be on the look out, so we have to be extra careful, we also need to decide what possession to take from each person, or what to do with it." I said, we all sat in silence thinking what we could do,

"Any ideas for Paul?" I asked. We all shook our heads, "Okay Jessica?" Bella nodded,

"We could take all her hair straightners and add green and pink dye to them," I thought about it for a moment,

"That is a really good idea!"

" We could put Edward's finger prints on them, in case she does a CSI investigation, girls' tend to exaggerate" Emmett said, I hit him,

"Any ideas for Lauren?" I questioned Emmett nodded,

"We cold take away all her make up and place it in another teams base and hide it." I nodded,  
"That is a good idea!" I said. Emmett shrugged,

"I am a clever person." I scoffed, so did Bella, we burst out laughing. We soon became silent when Emmett started trembling.

"So who's next, umm Jasper?" I said unsurely, I didn't really want to prank my husband, but he had pranked me so we would be even. Emmett jumped up, causing a dent in car, I scowled at him,

"I pay for that," He said apologetically, I nodded,

"So what is your idea?" I asked.

"Ohh umm—for Jasper we can go to his library and glue down all his books, and when he climbs up the ladder red paint could fall on him, **[A/N I know Stage 2 was take possessions, but I kinda changed it,] **I nodded,

"fair enough,"

"Rosalie?" I asked, Emmett shrugged,

"How about we go to all her mirrors and cover it with sticky tape," Bella suggested, we nodded,

"Paul?" Emmett asked,

"What about---" I started. Emmett interrupted me,

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN" He paused, I nodded signalling for him to go on, he still paused,

"SO EMMETT WHAT IS THIS BIG IDEA?!" I shouted, imitating his tone, he shrugged,

"I forgot,"

"Typ---" Emmett cut Bella off,

"SHUT UP MEASLY HUMAN, I REMEMBER NOW,!" He started. Bella winced at his tone of voice,

"Are you going to share this idea?" I asked, He shook his head,

"no" I nodded,

"Okay be that way," I said calmly. He shook his head,

"that was sarcasm, Oh my God, have you heard of sarcasm?!" He said,

"I have, just didn't know it could be that bad…" I said. Emmett frowned,

"Jealous," He muttered. Me and Bella started laughing. "Well as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, for Paul, we should get all his stuff and CREATE A BONFIREE!!!!" I started having a vision:

_*VISION: Paul saw the bonfire, and started ripping all our limbs off*_

"Not a good idea…" I advised, "If you value your life, don't do it," I said. Bella nodded, Emmett frowned.

"Why don't we just glue down everything he owns?" Bella suggested.

_*VISION: Paul struggling to open the toilet and ends up going in the road, where everyone can see.*_

"Perfect," I said grinning, nearly as big as Emmett's. We had finished just in time, we had arrived at our house. I couldn't hear much movement, only faint humans, and a rusty smell. Me, Bella and Emmett edged closer to the window,

"Okay guys, take this sheet of paper and do two people each, Emmett you can do Jessica, I will do Lauren and Jasper, and Bella you can do Rosalie and Paul," I said handing each of them instructions on a piece of paper:

"Why do I only get one?" Emmett asked.

"Because there is only 5 people," I explained

"So, we could of split it evenly," I decided not to bother, we swapped papers looking at everyone else's,

**EmPOV**

I looked to see Bella's instructions,

**ROSALIE**

**Go to all Mirrors,**

**Cover completely in brown sticky tape,**

**Write in black marker pen something on them**

**PAUL**

**Go to Reservation**

**Glue down all his belongings, **

**Playstation controller, books, dvds, tv's, toilet's, fridge. EVERYTHING**

**NOTE: There is 10 mirrors, 1 in the Kitchen, 3 in her room, 2 in the main bathroom, 2 in the living room, and 2 in the garden. GOOD LUCK**

Bella had one of the easiest, but probably one of the worst person. Rosalie would flip. I looked at Alice's

**LAUREN**

**Remove all make up from Lauren's house, and place it in Group 3's Base**

**Hide it in someone's room**

**Make sure Lauren has no access to any make up of any sort**

**NOTE: Group 3's base is in the school gym. Place in locker preferably.**

**JASPER**

**Go to his library**

**Glue down all books, and all pages**

**Place ladder on floor, **

**Fill 2 bucket's with read paint and silver glitter.**

**Place buckets above ladder.**

**Create mechanism so bucket's will fall.**

**NOTE: There is 257 books. Glitter can be found in Mike's house,**

Alice's was quite simple. I looked at mine, I realised mine was less complicated and broken down into more stages. "Guys, are you implying I am dumber than you guys? By breaking it down more?" I asked, highly offended,

"No offence, But Emmett you are no Einstein," Alice said. What?

"Of course I am not Einstein, I am not a game…" I said, confused, Alice shook her head,

"What are you talking about Emmett, Einstein was a clever man," Bella said,

"OHHH, I knew that just testing you…"

"For what," They asked,

"Umm—for the English test tomorrow!" I said.

"Uh Emmett it's the summer holidays…" I shrugged,

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR WANTING AND BETTER EDUCATION, WHEN I AM LIKE ISPINE YOU WOLD FEEL BAD FOR NOT PUTTING EXTRA EFFORT!" I screamed, Alice shook her head,

"Emmett, it's EINSTEIN!"

"Potato Patato," I said. I looked down and read my instructions,

**JESSICA**

**Purchase pink and green dye, (CAN BE FOUND AT MIKE NEWTON'S PLACE)**

**Enter her house,**

**Avoid her freaky mom,**

**enter her room,**

**Get hair straightners**

**Add pink and green hair dye to them.**

**NOTE: EMMETT DO NOT DO ANYMORE THAN WRITTEN ON THIS SHEET, OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOU AND THROW THE REMNANT IN THE SEA, AND BLAME IT ON AN 'UNFORTUNATE' SHARK ATTACK**

We all had read the instructions, "Mine is less complicated," I said sulkily, Alice sighed,  
"Emmett, it's because we didn't want to fill your brain with all this information, I mean you already have SOO much in there, we didn't want to kick them out. Understand?" Alice said. I swear she said the 'soo' sarcastically, I shall ask later,

"Okay, enough, let's get going." We all ran off our separate ways to go get the stuff required for the

**MASTER REVENGE PLAN**

**A/N THANKS. PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW. I KNOW THIS PROBABLY WASN'T YOUR BEST CHAPTER, AND IT ISN'T THAT FUNNY, BECAUSE THIS IS MORE LIKE A FILLER, TRUST ME, NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE ****FUNNY,**** ACTUALLY HILARIOUS, IT WILL BE THE FUNNIEST CHAPTER YET! SO REVIEW**

**I MIGHT UPDATE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!! SO REVIEW**

**20+ I WILL REVIEW IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF HOURS!!**


	42. Stage 2 Part II

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**DON'T SUE…I HAVE ADMITTED IT**

**OK!!!!!!!!!!**

**Previously**

_We all had read the instructions, "Mine is less complicated," I said sulkily, Alice sighed,  
"Emmett, it's because we didn't want to fill your brain with all this information, I mean you already have SOO much in there, we didn't want to kick them out. Understand?" Alice said. I swear she said the 'soo' sarcastically, I shall ask later,_

"_Okay, enough, let's get going." We all ran off our separate ways to go get the stuff required for the_

_**MASTER REVENGE PLAN**_

**Chapter 42**

**Dedicated to:**

**Nbf4eva**

**oX Pixie Girl Xo**

**jasperluvr95**

**LullaFi De Cullen **

We all began to depart, I made my way inside. I was glad that no one was in, apart from Jessica and Lauren, I snuck in, checking all directions, making sure I was quiet. I was surprised I hadn't fallen yet, just as I inwardly congratulated myself, I fell, brining a glass vase down with me, I sighed, and hid for cover. Jessica came out,

"Hey, Lauren a glass broke," Jess said,

"Clean it up then!" Lauren shouted back,

"No, you can, I do everything!" Jess debated. Lauren sighed and got up and made her way to my fall scene,

"Did you do a Bella?" Lauren asked, laughing. How close they were.

They had cleaned it all up. I snuck out and treaded-more carefully- into the kitchen. I heard Lauren's faint voice, "Jess, can you get me some coffee,"

"Sure," Jess replied. The ONE time they use the kitchen I am in it. Great. I was to slow, Jessica walked in,

"Hey Bella, what are you doing here?" Jessica asked me, I 'shhhed' her,

"Jess, I am hear for a umm--" I noticed the pen in my hand, "A pen," I answered quickly, Jess nodded. This is ridiculous, the one time I don't want her to notice me she does, but when I do want to be noticed It will be, 'who the hell is Bella'. I thought to myself.

"Wait…isn't there pens where you live?" I shook my head,

"No…Charlie took them away, I had been bad," I said. Jess looked at me,

"What did you poke daddy with a pen?" She joked. I nodded,

"Twice…" I said, looking down. When I looked up she was gone. I quickly ran into the upstairs bathroom, I heard Lauren downstairs,

"Jess, I don't see Bella"

"She was here, I swear!" I started laughing, I could imagine the looks on their faces,

"Sure they were, Jess, come on, let's go take your pills…again," I heard an unscrewing of a lid,

"Jess I am only meant to have 2," I heard Jess say worriedly,

"But people, aren't really as crazy as you…" Lauren suggested. Jess took them, I heard a thud. I crept down the stairs silently. I saw Jess sprawled on the floor. Lauren was laughing maniacally,

"Yes, now no one can compete against me for Edward's heart. Screw Bella. Stupid Jess," Jess stirred, and awoke droopily,

"W-what happened?" She stammered. Lauren thought frantically for a moment,

"Umm---Bella came and hit you with a bat, I came and helped you!" Lauren said in a rush. Jess narrowed her eyes,

"Did she think I would take Edward away from her," Lauren forced a smile,

"Likely," Lauren muttered. I made my way back into the bathroom. I started taping the first mirror, I got my black marker pen and wrote

**OUT OF ORDER **

I laughed and made my way to the second mirror, I taped it all up in a speedy 3 minutes and wrote:

**TOO UGLY TO BE **

**SEEN**

I carried on doing that to all the mirrors. In the end I had written 7 more, they read

***SMASHED***

**SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR UGLINESS**

**GO AWAY!**

**WHAT ****ARE**** YOU WEARING?!**

**YOU CALL YOURSELF A GIRL?!**

**I SHALL INTRODUCE YOU TO A FRIEND,**

**YOU DON'T KNOW HIM WELL**

**IT'S A**** RAZOR**

**I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR PARENTS**

**HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT?!**

Rosalie's prank had been done, I started to get ready for Paul's prank. I started running to the reservation, I reached the house, No one was in, that was lucky. I went into his room and started glueing down everything. I glued down his bed covers; the toilet seats; his playstation; remote buttons, everything. I exited the house.

I got my camera out and made my way back to the Cullen house, everyone was just parking in, I crept up into the first place Rosalie would look, the bathroom, I pressed the record button. This would be amazing! Roslie looked at the first mirror and screamed,

RosaliePOV

We had all come back from hunting, we came home, Jessica and Lauren were still here, I really wasn't in a good mood today, as everyone could tell. I walked up to Jessica and Lauren, "Guys you know the term, Overstayed your welcome." I said sweetly. They nodded, not peeling their eyes off the television.

"Guys look at me, stop looking at Spongebob! YOU ACT LIKE 3 YEAR OLDS TRAPPED INSIDEA 18 YEAR OLD WOMAN'S BODY!!!" I screamed, they looked at me,

"Sorry, but I mean, look at him he has put the whoppee cushion in Mr Crab's office," They burst out laughing. I swear I heard a chuckle from behind the wall. I ignored it.

"Guys, so back to my question, you know that term, you have overstayed your welcome," They nodded, "not meaning to be rude, YOU HAVE." I shouted. They got up and scrambled out of the house. I walked into the bathroom, to check my beauty, the mirror was unrecognisable, it was covered in brown sticky tape and printed in black writing was:

**TOO UGLY TO BE **

**SEEN**

I gasped, "Excuse me?!" I screeched, my voice an octave higher then normal, "HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF LATELY?! I THOUGHT NOT, YOU ARE NOT LOOKING TO GREAT EITHER!" I shouted at the mirror, I ran to the other mirror,

The same thing happened, instead it read:

**I SHALL INTRODUCE YOU TO A FRIEND,**

**YOU DON'T KNOW HIM WELL**

**IT'S A**** RAZOR**

I HAD NOT JUST READ THAT! "I can inform you that I shave, TWICE A DAY INFACT!" I screamed at the mirror. I stormed off to the third mirror, it read:

**HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT?!**

"NO I HAVEN'T IT'S THE DRESS, AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! THAT BROWN STICKY TAPE AND BLACK MARKER PEN… WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? IT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT…YES I SAID IT F-A-T!" I was angry beyond words. I moved onto the fourth mirror, it read:

**SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR UGLINESS**

**GO AWAY!**

"I HOPE THIS IS NOT AIMED AT ME!!! BECAUSE I AM BEAUTIFUL!!! I DON'T NEED THIS S**T!! I WILL ASK EMMETT HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM…" I looked at another mirror,

***SMASHED***

" I HOPE YOU SMASHE AT MY BEAUTY!! BECAUSE IF YOU ARE SAYING I AM UGLY." I lost it, I ran into all the rooms with mirrors and smashed them all. I reached in my bag and smashed my pocket mirror. Who would believe a good companion to show you how good you look, could be so evil!! I thought inwardly.

I repeatedly smashed the small mirror,

"DIE, NO MIRRORS BAD MOUTH ME!!! DIE DIE DIE,"

"Rosalie, that mirror wasn't broken," I heard a voice, I turned around, it was Jessica.

"What the hell do you want?????!!!" I screamed. She walked in,

"Just came to get my purse," She stammered unsurely. She edged into the room, I sent her a death glare, "you know what, I don't need that 100 dollars…" She said, leaving. Seconds later, she came back again, poking her head through the door,

"Rose, by the way, you look great." She said, I lost it I picked up the closest possession and threw it at her. She fell to the ground. NOTE TO SELF: Don't throw knives at people. Luckily, she had only been hit in the head, by the handle. She would be unconscious for a while though, I picked her up and shoved her in the cupboard.

"And they say I am fat…" I muttered.

**BPOV**

That was classic. I made my way, back to the reservation. Then I saw Paul enter the house. He must be getting his daily clothes. I followed him in and started recording.

**PaulPOV**

I entered the house, I saw Seth and Claire in the living room. I made my way to my bedroom. I tried opening the closet, it was glued down. What the…

"How many times do I have to tell Claire not to play with the glue?" I thought to myself. I decided, to go the toilet. I let it all out. When I had finished. I realised I had missed the toilet, How can I miss the toilet? I have had 16 years of practice. I looked down, and noticed the lid was glued down firmly. I went downstairs, and got the mop, Seth looked at me,

"accident in the toilet," He said, looking at Clare, I nodded,

"It wasn't Clare," I muttered. Seth burst out laughing. Clare looked at him,

"What is so funny Sethie?" She asked. Seth laughed.

"Well, uncle Paul missed the toilet! Clare looked at me,

"Is that true Paulie? I am two and I can aim properly." Clare said giggling. I blushed. Emily walked in,

"Guys, you have been watching tv for hours now, turn it off." She said.

"No pleaseee Emiwy," Clare said using her irresistible pout. Emily shook her head.

"No," She took away the remote, I stuck my tongue out,

"haha guys, I am going to my room, to watch tv!" I boasted. They sighed. I walked into my room, I grabbed the remote and started pressing the on button, it wouldn't work, "HOLY SON OF A---" I started, Clare walked in, "CHEESE!" I finished. Smiling faintly at Clare. She grinned at me,

"How are you liking the tv?" She asked. I growled and walked out the room and into the kitchen, I began to open the fridge door. I was starving. It wouldn't budge.

"What the hell? CLARE DO NOT COME BETWEEN ME AND MY FOOD!!!" I screamed, she came in,

"What?! I haven't done anything!" Her hands behind her back. I saw what it was. It was glue. "CLARE…" I growled.

"What...i'm sorry I mean your car would of broke anyway!!"

"What do you mean?" I asked. She looked at me,

"Well I kinda had a glue explosion in your car, so it kinda is broke," She said. I looked her.

"CLARE YOU ARE LUCKY I NEED THE TOILET!!!" I screamed. Seth walked in,

"Paul, have you been taking laxatives? I mean you went like 2 minutes ago." Seth asked. My temper was going crazy today,

"IT WAS 2 HOURS AGOO!!!!" I screamed,

"Just checking," Seth said defensively.

"Sorry," I muttered. Seth nodded,

"Just worried for ya man, you are quite fat so…" I chucked a pillow at him,

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT SORRY!!" I screamed. Seth shrugged and walked out. I then remembered all the toilet's had been glued down. Crap. I went into a deserted road. Pulled down my trousers, and started unrinating. All of a sudden the world's most disserted place became the busiest road. Cars were coming, people winded down their windows to get a good view, people were shouting lots of things,

"Liken it,"

"Id tap that,"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! It's like 2 cm!" I protectively covered my privates. An old woman started walking past, she looked at me and gasped.

"What are you doing? Are you lost, the toilet's are over there," She said pointing over the road.

"No, I am okay, I mean, might as well let nature see what I got," She gasped again,

"AWW COME ON LADY, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU AINT SEEN ONE BEFORE! IT ALL NATURAL, YOU PROBS SEEN ONE, ON YOUR HUSBAND," I paused to take in her appearance, "You know what I think you might just be single with that face," I said gently. She hit me with her cane, I started running back to the rez,

"I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I WAS A GOOD LOOKING GIRL IN MY YEARS!"I heard the lady shout, I turned around,

"When was that? 1920?" I asked sarcastically. She shook her head,

"Im not THAT old, it was 1921!" She amended,

"And yet you still look 21" I said, coating my voice with heavy sarcasm, she shook her head.

"Well leet me tell you now, what is that between your legs, you will be my age and would of only lost your viginity with you mum!! [**A/N that is sooo wrong private joke with me and my friends!] **She shouted.

"WELL MY MUM IS VERY GOOD LOOKING, AND ALSO, SHE IS DEAD!" I shouted back, this surprisingly didn't hurt when I said it.

"Do you want to not be a virgin?" She asked me, and winked. I back away.

"GO AWAY YOU PEDOFILE!" I shouted.

**OldLadyPOV**

Ahh, such a good looking lad, I looked across the road, there was a teenage boy crossing the road, I looked and winked at him. He looks nice. He stood in shock. A car came and ran him over,

"WHOOPS, IT WAS NOT ME, YOU CAN'T ADD THIS TO MY RECORD!" I shouted, throwing my cane to the ground and ran away.

**FAVE CHAPPY? YOU LIKE? THIS WAS PRETTY LONG!!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I MIGHT UPDATE 2MORRO SO REVIEW FAST!!!**

**I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY! DID YOU. TELL ME AND REVIEW**


	43. Stage 2 Part III Failed

**DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!**

**Previously**

"_Do you want to not be a virgin?" She asked me, and winked. I back away._

"_GO AWAY YOU PEDOFILE!" I shouted._

_**OldLadyPOV**_

_Ahh, such a good looking lad, I looked across the road, there was a teenage boy crossing the road, I looked and winked at him. He looks nice. He stood in shock. A car came and ran him over,_

"_WHOOPS, IT WAS NOT ME, YOU CAN'T ADD THIS TO MY RECORD!" I shouted, throwing my cane to the ground and ran away._

**Chapter 43**

**Dedicated to: **

**Amber aka alice**

**Jasperluvr95**

**Jenlovestwilight**

**TEAMEJforeverloveTWILIGHT**

**Katie-Grace95**

**EmPOV**

I started heading over to Jessica's house, I opened the door and started bringing in all the stuff I needed, that included pink and green dye. As I entered her house, I heard a loud "meeoooow" I frantically around. She had a dog?! I thought inwardly. I catiously stepped in, there in front of me was a 10 foot dog. With pointy ears, blood red eyes and a long tail. I then realized it was a deformed dog **[A/N incasee you cant think, it is a cat!] **I quickly ran around to avoid it, and started heading for Jessica's room. When I had got there, I saw all her hair straighteners, I made my way over to them. And up green and pink dye on them. I heard movement outside, I quickly put the bottles on her bed and dived underneath her bed, I created a massive hole. S**t. I ran back upstairs in her closet. I saw Jessica enter her room.

**JessPOV **

I was on my way home, as we had been so rudely kicked out the Cullens. They are probably worried, every minute I spend in there, the closer I am getting to Edward, so I guess they are scared. I walked in the house , I went to my room, I noticed under my bed there was a massive hole. And mum said there was no such thing as monsters! I then went and looked in the mirror, my hair looked a bit ruffled, I ran upstairs and started straightening it. When I had finished I decided to look in the mirror, on the way to the mirror, my phone rang,

**Hello **I said questioningly

_Hello, Jess it's like me…Lauren_

**HAHA very funny, this is a rubbish prank callm, you have got Lauren's voice ALL wrong, it's more whiny and man like! **

_Hey, I am not whiney_

**That's Better! Anyway, when you prank call properly call me.**

***hang up***

Some people, just never give up.

**LPOV [A/N OMG sorry for the switch in POV's all the time. I hope you don't hate me!]**

On my way to hunting down Alice, I decided to call Jess, to talk to her, I got out my phone and pressed speed dial:

**Hello ** She said questioningly, How could she not know her BFFL's number! I thought, then I realized I was on my dad's phone. OMG my dad has Jess on speed dial! Pedo.

_Hello, Jess it's like me…Lauren _I said reminding her.

**HAHA very funny, this is a rubbish prank call, you have got Lauren's voice ALL wrong, it's more whiny and man like! **WHAT THE HELL?!

_Hey, I am not whiney _I whined

**That's Better! Anyway, when you prank call properly call me.**

***hang up***

Best friend my ass!

**JessPOV**

I then jumped in my car, I started driving off to the mall, forgetting to look in the mirror. As I stepped in the mall. All eyes were on me, mostly me. People walked past, complimenting my hair,

"Explosion in the hairdressrs," Some one said, I said thanks, it was a nice compliment.

"Very shocking," Another person said,

"Nice blend of colours." What were they talking about? My hair colour was black, **[A/N** **or was hers blonde???]** I hoped they couldn't see my real hair colour. Red. I know they couldn't I had put bottles upon bottles of dye on. **All** the compliments got annoying after a while. So I decided to shout, I stood on a table, in the food court and shouted,

"OKAY, SO I AM A TALENTED HAIRDRESSER! STOP TELLING ME,"

Everyone looked at me, and then started laughing. I realized they were looking at my hair.

"Are you blind," Some one in the crowd shouted,

"OKAY, WHAT IS SO FUNNY?! HUH IS THERE STUFF IN MY HAIR?!" I demanded,

"You could say that," A woman replied.

"LOOK I CAME HERE TO SHOW YOU MY BEAUTY. IF YOU CANNOT APPRECIATE THAT. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE," Everyone filed out whispering, "Drugs,", "Alcohol," "Mentally disturbed," Everyone had soon disappeared, apart from this old woman. She looked freaky. She came up to me,

"Are you a virgin?" She asked me. I backed away fast. **[A/N familiar old lady???lol]** As I was alking back, quickly, I saw the old lady was following me, I then saw a boy with hot russet skin, and dark hair. He was quite big, I had seen him in La Push. I think his name was Paul, **[A/N idea from Katie Grac95 made me ROFL]** He ran up to the old lady, looking rather angry and knocked her down, he then sprinted off shouting, "ME 1 PEDOPHILIC LADY 0." I started walking home. I sat down, my mum entered, she look at my hair.

"Hey Jess, wooo nice hair," I glared at her.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT?!" I stormed off to the mirror. Oh My Freaking God! My hair was green and pink! I frantically tried to wash it all out. I went in my room,

"Jess, are you alright." My mum shouted up sympathetically, I was not in a good mood,

"NO I AM NOT IN A FREAKING GOOD MOOD! MY HAIR IS FREAKING PINK AND GREEN!" I shouted. I noticed two bottles of hair dye on my bed, green and pink. I picked them up. There in black writing was

**MIKE NEWTON**

I went to hunt him down, and decapitate his head from his body.

**APOV**

I started making my way to Laurens house, to do her prank. I got in my Porsche and started speeding off to Lauren's house. I arrived shortly. I entered her house,

"Lauren is that you?" I heard her mum say. I ran quickly taking cover. Lauren's mum poked her head round the door, she couldn't see me. She soon left the room. I crept upstairs, and made my way to Lauren's bedroom. She had tons and tons of make up on her desk. I made my way up to the desk. Her bed was blue. There was a lump under it. I went up and threw the covers back. There was a boy in there, I knew Lauren was a hoe. he was only about 7. Had Lauren turned into a pedofile? She just slept with a underage person and leave them at her house to do their school work! I screamed, so did he. He jumped out,  
"ARGH, WHO ARE YOU?!" He screamed. "AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" He screamed. The make up was his?! He was obviously her brother, I thought quickly,

"Umm—I am Lauren, I had plastic surgery." I said, hoping he would buy it. He shook his head, "No, Lauren has plastic surgery once a week every Saturday, and today's Friday" He debated. I shook my head,

"No, well today is Saturday, I put you in my time machine and we went forward a day," I said. He shrugged.

"Okay then," He said, climbing back into bed. Boys could be so gullible. I heard Lauren's mum's footsteps. I jumped in the closet. She poked her head around,

"JACK?! WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING ASLEEP?!" **[A/N I don't think Lauren has a brother, but go with it,] **She shouted,

"I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL?!" He shouted. Lauren's mum looked at him,

"It's FRIDAY YOU NIKINPOOP," Jack looked at her astonished.

"One: Lauren told me it was Saturday and two: call me a nikinpoop again, I might have to kill you," He said.

"I brought you in this world, I can drag you right back out!!! And where is Lauren? If she is at the plastic surgeon…AGAIN!!" I suddenly remembered her name was Loraine. Jack pointed where I was hiding, I shyly came out,

"Hey mum," Loraine screamed,

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF, YOU LOOK UGLY!!!" She shouted, "WAS THE SURGEON BLIND?!" She shouted, I lost it,

"NO THE PLASTIC SURGEON WAS NOT BLIND!! AND I AM NOT YOU DAUGHTER. THANK GODD!" I said, storming out. Lorraine gasped. I exited the house. I forgot something, I walked up and knocked on the door, Lorraine opened the door, she narrowed her eyes at me.

"I forgot to do something.." I started, she shut the door in my face, I ran back and ran into the door bringing it clean off it's hinges. Lorraine,  
"This is ridiculous, GET OUT," I calmly walked past her, and into Lauren's room. As I entered, Jack and Lorraine gasped. I looked at them,

"What?!" Jack shook his head viciously,

"No one is allowed in Lauren's room," He said. I laughed.

"OOOH I am in, now I am out, IN, OUT," I started saying, jumping in and out,

"AND SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT," Jack finished. I gave him a weird look. I realized Lorraine had gone, I walked up to Jack,

"Hey, Jack, was that make up in your room yours?" He nodded,

"Yes, I have a light complexion," He said. I nodded,

"You should see mine," I muttered, I walked into her room,

"Come help me Jack," He shook his head,

"Sorry, I value my life, I do not want to get killed by Lauren." He said, running into his room. Stupid idiot. I went in and started taking all Lauren's make up, she had loads, I was walking out with the last bundle, Jack walked up to me. And saluted me, "I salute you brave soul," He said. I shrugged,

"the worst she could do is burn me I mean it isn't that bad!" I said, He shook his head.

"Once when I nicked her lipstick she threw me in the sea with sharks and left me, Good thing I was wearing my inflatable shorts, and we had had garlic for dinner," He said.

"You have GARLIC for dinner?" I asked astounded, He shook his head,

"No that is just stupid!!! We have onions as well!" He said, I started walking out to my Porsche, Lorraine walked out,

"What do you think you are doing?" She asked me, looking at the make up.

"I am robbing a bank, what do you think I am doing, Lauren should learn, to show her natural beauty," Lorraine shook her head,

"She deosn't have any…" She replied, I laughed.

"True, but then again, the make up, doesn't make it any better…" I said.

_*VISION: Lorraine and Jack tied by a tree, trying to tell Lauren I had stolen her stuff*_

I went into Jack's room and got his bubble gun, I ran back outside. "JACK LORRAINE, come here," They obediently followed, I pointed to the ground, they sat down, after seeing my 'gun',

"Please-don't-hurt-us," Jack stammered beginning to cry.

"What would make you think--" I stopped, as I realized the gun, "Oh this, Do you like this view?" They nodded, "Good, because you will see it a lot now," I said as I tied them to a tree. I started sprinting, at human speed to my car. And started speeding to the school lockers,

I went off to start Jasper's prank. I drove to the house, no one was in, luckily. I made my way to Jasper's library. The books looked unfamiliar. I started glueing the pages and the books to the shelf. Within hours I had finished. I then got the ladder and placed a bucket above. I filled the buckets with red paint and silver glitter, which I had borrowed- but would never return- from Mike. I placed it all on the mechanism. It was all set up and working. I was pleased with my work. I ran back to Lauren's house, to film her reaction. I hid under her bed, but was prepared to run around, soundlessly.

**LPOV**

I was on my way home, I hadn't seen my family in ages. I made my way back home, I started walking in, I heard some mumbling, I realized my mum and brother were tied up. I went up and untied them,

"Who did this, and why the hell are you tied up?!" I asked

"I don't know, we just like tying ourselves to the tree," Jack said sarcastically. I laughed bitterly,

"No honestly, we were tied up by," My mum started, I noticed she looked at Jack and he was shaking his head, "Well we were playing a game, that got out of hand," She answered, a bit fakely. I nodded, I went up and untied them. They ran in the house, and started running inside, acting like nothing had happened. My mum turned around,

"It's so nice you came to see us Lauren," Mum said, I shrugged,

"Yeah sure, it's not like I came to get my make up," I mumbled. I walked up to my room, all my make up had vanished, "JACCCKKK!!!" I shouted, he came in my room,

"Yes?" He asked innocently, he held his hands in the air, "It, wasn't me." He promised. I narrowed my eyes at him, "It was a girl called Alice, or something like that," He said.

"I NEED MY MAKE UP TO SURVIVE, I WOULD LOOK PLAIN WITHOUT IT!" I screamed dramatically,

"Well, I doubt anyone would notice,"Jack said comfortingly, I glared at him,

"Of course they would, I am Lauren Mallory the most beautiful girl in the school," I said, Jack looked at me,

"Fine, whatever, 17 th," Jack narrowed his eyes,

"I thought Bella--" He said, I interrupted him,

"IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO SAY ISABELLA FRICKING SWAN!!!" I said, not finishing my threat. He shook his head. I walked out, went in my dad's cabinet and grabbed a rifel, and started walking out the door, My mum saw me,

"What are you doing with that gun, Lauren?" She asked me, I glared at her,

"I am shooting the pigeons, no! I am hunting down Alice Cullen." I said evilly,

**JPOV **

I started walking back to our house. As I entered, I felt this urge to read one of my many books, I walked in my library, I started to pick them up, they were glued securely down, I fell to my knees,

"WHAT THE HELL, THEY HAVE INVENTED VAMPIRE STRENGTH GLUE?!" I shouted, frantically trying to remove them from the shelf. I couldn't. I started dry sobbing, "Why, would some one do this to me?" I asked aloud. I said down for hours, talking to my paralyzed books, talking about all the memories. I was having one on one with each book, I was know on 'How to do it,' Ahh good memories. "Remember when you taught me how to have sex with Alice, yeah good times. Sorry I couldn't give you credit for the moves, but I didn't want her to know I read a sex book! I heard faint footsteps, I quickly stopped talking, hoping he hadn't been listening. I turned around to see Carlisle, he walked up to the books,

"HAHA Jasper, all your books are glued down! HAHA, and mine are all clean and non glued," He began to boast **[A/N really OOC for Carlisle] **He started looking at the title of each books,

"Hey Jasper, I have this book, ooh and this one, and this oneee…wow we have a lot of the same books," he paused. "HOLY CRAP, THESE ARE MINE!!!" He scrambled onto the ladder to check if they were all his. He screamed. "NOOO," I shouted as he started falling, I caught him, and it was a reflex reaction. I looked above me, Red sparkly paint started falling, falling fast.

SPLAT

It landed straight on me and Carlisle. We were covered. I was fuming. A banner fell down from the ceiling it read,

**LOTS OF LOVE **

**ALICE**

Me and Carlisle looked at each other, we may be on different teams. But we were now both planning on how to have revenge on Alice's team, the people who started this.

All love put aside.

MikePOV

It was such a good idea to swap Carlisle and Jasper books! I thought to myself,

AlicePOV

I was with Emmett and Bella

_*VISION: Jasper and Carlisle's group were sitting down, planning on how to get revenge on us*_

"Crap, guys, we have been found out…AGAIN" I said. Emmett frowned,

"Great… ABORT PLAN, ABORT PLAN!!!" We started running, fast.

**REVIEW REVIEW FAVE CHAPPY? DOUBT IT. DON'T WORRY EDWARD WILL BE PRANKED NEXT CHAPTER SO REVIEW!!!**

**I AM REALLY SORRY, BUT I AM GOING TO FRANCE FOR A WEEK. SO NO UPDATES FOR A WEEK :9 I AM REALLY SORRY, AS SOON AS I COME BACK I WILL UPDATE LOTS!! REVIEW**


	44. PRANK ON EDWARD

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, OR ANY CHARACTERS, BUT I DO OWN MY BRAIN, WHICH HELPED ME WRITE THIS STUFF!!!**

**A/N: AREN'T YOU GLAD I AM BACK FROM FRANCE?! I MISSED YOU GUYS! I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO BAD. I HAVE HAD LIKE 16 REVIEWS FOR LAST CHAPTER.**

**I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPPY.**

_AlicePOV_

_I was with Emmett and Bella_

_*VISION: Jasper and Carlisle's group were sitting down, planning on how to get revenge on us*_

"_Crap, guys, we have been found out…AGAIN" I said. Emmett frowned,_

"_Great… ABORT PLAN, ABORT PLAN!!!" We started running, fast._

**Chapter 44**

Carlisle POV

Me and Jasper decided we needed plot our revenge on Emmett, Bella and Alice. We made our way to my room. I paused. Jasper looked at me, questioning why I stopped, "Wait Jasper, I am going to shower" I said pointing down to my paint drenched clothes. He nodded,

"I should too," He started walking behind me, I swiveled around, giving him a weird look,

"Jasper, you can't come shower _with_ me," I said, emphasizing the words. He looked down, looking embarrassed,

"I know, I was just coming to get this," He said pointing at a box, I looked at them,

"Condoms?" I asked out loud, I then remembered Mike had probably left them here, in hope that one day he would need them with Bella. I laughed at this. Jasper sent out more waves of embarrassment,

"Umm, yeah, can never be extra safe," He said, walking out the door. I laughed, and made my way to the bathroom. I put on the shower in order for it to warm up.I started peeling my clothes off, I was down to my boxers when someone barged through the door, I guessed it was Jasper,

"JASPER, YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN OUT THE CONDOMS NOW GO AWAY!!!" I then turned around, startled to see Lauren standing there,

"Lauren?" I asked. She flushed,

"Sorry Doctor Cullen, I thought Jasper was in here" She said, stammering. I smiled at her,

"And you thought he would be in here, when you could hear distinct sound of shower water," I said, she shook her head, "And you didn't knock?" I said, Lauren was getting more uncomfortable by the minute,

"I was brought up to umm—not knock," She said. Who were her parents? Perverts. I thought to myself.

"MY DAD WAS WRONGLY ACCUSED, HE WAS NOT A PERVERT!" She shouted, I then realized I had said it aloud, I was silent, "IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HE MIGHT OF TOOK PLEASURE OF SEEING PRIVATE PARTS...that aren't his," She trailed off. She quickly ran out the bathroom. I stepped into the shower.

After a quick shower I got changed. I heard lots of people downstairs. Some more distinct,

"No, I'm telling you Jess, he called me," I heard Lauren boast

"Sure Lauren." Jess said, her voice coated with sarcasm

"Honestly, he literally cried when I left,"

"That could have been the water droplets…" Jess suggested  
"He wasn't in the shower," Lauren argued

"I thought he was…" Jess accused

"Umm, he stepped out, dry."

"Anyway, must have been tears of happiness Lauren," Jess joked.

I made my way down the stairs, as soon as Lauren saw me, she quickly whispered something in Jessica's ear, "Don't tell anyone, I mean, I don't want Esme to find out, of me and Carlisle's affair," Jess looked at her doubtably,

"Of course Lauren, I mean barging into someone's bathroom, while they are showering and seeing them nearly naked. Is definitely the definition of an AFFAIR!" She said sarcastically, while rolling her eyes. I came and sat down next to Lauren, I heard her breathing go in more quick and sharp breaths.

"Okay guys, as you know Alice, Emmett and Bella are still pranking, we need to get them back," Jasper explained, I looked around the room, there was, Jasper, Paul, Jessica, Lauren, Rosalie, Aro, Mike and Mr. Banner. They all nodded,

"So any ideas?" I asked. Lauren fainted,

"I guess she is a little excitable," I said, winking at Jasper.

BellaPOV

We started running, well Emmett and Alice did, and I climbed on their back. Emmett started panicking, I noticed him slowing down.

"RUNNN!" I commanded, he looked frantically around,

"WHERE?!!!" He said back,

"MEXICO!!!!!!!!!" I shouted, Alice shook her head,

"No…just go back to the hotel," she amended. He nodded. We quickly made our way back to the hotel. Suddenly, Alice came to a halt,

"Wait, guys Edward is in there, he is trying to pretend to not be a spy, but he doesn't know that we know, so let's go in and act innocent," Alice explained. I shook my head, she gave me the evils,

"No, I think we should prank him," I said evilly, Emmett grinned,

"Bella, you are finally a Cullen," He said. I smiled.

"I know," I said cockily,

"I am surprised that you want revenge on your fiancé Bella, you always seem so nice," Alice said, I laughed,

"Never judge a book by it's cover," I said smiling, Emmett looked at me,

"What, you aren't a book, you may be thick, but that doesn't make you a book!" Emmett protested. I sighed,

And you call me stupid," I knew Emmett could hear. All was forgotten, we made our way to my house, and we sat around the kitchen table.

"So any ideas," Alice asked. I shrugged,

"I GOT ONE!!!" Emmett jumped up and crashed into the ceiling, making a little hole, I sighed,

"Emmett, bad luck, Charlie has a gun.." I said, he shrugged.

"I don't mind, I am a unique person that is specially gifted with invincibility," He said proudly. Alice looked at him,

"Emmett first off, you are not specially gifted with invincibility, you are a vampire, and… well I guess you are unique, but then again there are plenty other idiots alive. For example Mike, Eric…" She was interrupted by Emmett,

"ALICEEEE SHUT UPPP!" He whined. We burst out laughing,

"So back on subject, how shall we prank him?" Alice asked, Emmett shrugged, "Fine, prank or prank call?" She asked,

"Both," I said.

"Okay, let's call him now, and we will prank him later," She concluded.

**Edward **_Bella, Alice and Emmett_

**Bella…? Is that you, **

_No…this is the car company_

**Have you got my baby?**

_Bella? No…_

**NOT BELLA!!! My car**_**,**_

_Oh do you mean the tatty grey Volvo with worn out black seats. _

**Yes**

_The unfashionable one?_

**IT WAS IN FASHION IN THE 1970's!**

_Don't you mean the 1870's!_

**Whatever, so why did you start this totally pointless conversation?**

_Well, we have had an incident with the car,_

**WHAT, **

_*silence*_

**GOD DAMN IT tell me!**

_It is missing the 'L' _

**WHAT?! So it just reads VoVo?**

_Yes,_

**Well that just sounds gay!!! I am going to drive around in my little silver vovo!**

_It sounded gay to start with! Anyway that isn't the main thing,_

**What is then?**

_Well our driver was test driving it, and it turns out he doesn't know the difference between a cliff and a road,_

**WHAT?! I ASKED FOR THE BEST DRIVER!!!!**

_That was our best driver!_

**HOLY CROW! IS HE OKAY?!**

_Well he died,_

_**NO NOT THE DRIVER. I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM, although it makes me feel a little better to know he is dead **_**[A/N OOC! Lol] but is Rupert okay?**

_Rupert?_

**MY CAR**

_Oh, yeah that's kaput!_

**It doesn't work at all?**

_Well unless you like to drive in a circular shape and have no steering wheel, brakes, windows, doors, seats, etcetera…_

**GREAT! THANKS!**

_Your welcome sir. Also we came to your house and saw a Aston Martin Vanquish…_

**YOU CRASHED SYLVIA?!**

_NO, although, that could be arranged_

**No, what happened?**

_*hang up*_

"Guys, what shall we do, I mean, he is going to notice his car is still there," I asked. Alice nodded her head,

"Well, since we should run quickly now, and dump it, on the roof then we can do something to his piano, we have a while because he is waiting for Bella to come to the hotel, so let's go," Alice said. We made our way to their house, as I went in to start on the piano, Emmett and Alice placed the car on the roof. They soon came to join me and painted Edward's piano.

"Does anyone have pink paint?" I asked, Emmett nodded,

"Yes, it is in my room, next to my ribbon drawer…" He paused, "I mean they are Rosalie's," He amended,

"Suuure," I said sarcastically. We started painting and glittering.

In the end we had had painted it pink with red swirls and blue stars, and had glued the keys together, we then put writing on it, we had little bits of writing they read,

**TOUCH ME EDWARD**

**I PLAY THIS THING BECAUSE I HAVE NO SEXUAL ENTERTAINMENT**

**HOW GAY AM I**

**I LIKE TO TOUCH MYSELF**

**I PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC, HOW SEXY AM I!**

I started laughing when I read them all. To finish it off we placed superglue on the seat. We then walked off, back to the hotel. Edward had already departed.

**EPOV [A/N cba to do the whole phone convo again:)]**

I waited for an hour, Bella still hadn't come. I decided to go visit my late car. I ran as fast as I could to the house. I noticed that my car was in a clean condition. So I was prank called… I wonder who by, I walked inside to see if there was any witnesses. The house was empty. I made my way to the piano, to start finishing my new lullaby for Bella, even though she wouldn't need it when she is one of us, but it's the thought that counts, as I walked over to my pride and joy, I noticed it was not the normal pearl white, but it was pink with blue stars and had red swirls. Oh My God. I started looking around the piano, it was covered, it had writing all over it.

**TOUCH ME EDWARD**

I didn't get this, I played this piano mostly all day. I then suddenly got the second meaning. That is gross, why would I make out with my piano.

**PLAY THIS THING BECAUSE I HAVE NO SEXUAL ENTERTAINMENT**

This was kind of true, because if I had better ways to spend my night, other than watching my angel sleep, I wouldn't be playing this piano!

**HOW GAY AM I**

Everyone always says I am gay. I mean, why can't a man cry in a film, it was Tom and Jerry, it must be hard for Jerry, always being chased. It was too emotional. I am a man who shows his feelings.

**I LIKE TO TOUCH MYSELF**

Well since Bella won't, I do! Some men like pleasure, and if a woman aint offering you any, DIY!

**I PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC, HOW SEXY AM I!**

Myself, I think I am rather sexy! I mean Debussy. He was a good looking chap. Not in a gay way. In a kind of bromance.

I sat down on the chair and tried to forget all the writing and compromising, and concentrated on the piano. I pressed down C, it wouldn't budge. I started banging on the notes. At that moment, Emmett, Bella and Alice walked in,

"Edward I thought you were a good pianist?" Alice asked, too innocently. I scowled at her, I got up, ready to attack her,

"Edward," My angel said. I smiled at her,

"Yes my love," I answered, lost in her pit of chocolate brown eyes.

"You have a chair stuck to your butt," With this, they all burst out laughing.

**BAD NEWS. I MIGHT BE ENDING THIS STORY SOON :( I AM RUNNING OUT OF MY IDEAS. TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK REVIEW REVIEW. SHOULD I CARRY ON. HOW MANY MORE CHAPTERS?**

**HOW YOU LIKEY? FAVE CHAPPY??**

**AREN'T YOU GLAD I AM BACK???! LOL REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE! WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT**


	45. PRANK ON PAUL

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**NERVER WILL. I KOW THAT NOW :(**

"_Edward I thought you were a good pianist?" Alice asked, too innocently. I scowled at her, I got up, ready to attack her,_

"_Edward," My angel said. I smiled at her,_

"_Yes my love," I answered, lost in her pit of chocolate brown eyes._

"_You have a chair stuck to your butt," With this, they all burst out laughing_

**Chapter 45**

**Dedicated to: My first 5 reviewers **

BPOV

I think we were pushing it. Edward looked pissed. I felt really bad. Edward made his way out of the door, I ran up to him and stopped him,

EPOV

I was really pissed at them. I was especially surprised at Bella, I would of never thought she would do this. I bet she refused to do it, and was dragged along.

_Bella, is amazing, I can't believe she thought of that brilliant trick_** Emmett**

_Bella is now the Prank Queen, thinking up that prank for Edward _**Alice**

I now thought differently. I scowled at them all. I then looked at my angel.

"Bella, love, how could you do that to me?" I said quietly. She looked down. I immediately felt bad for making her feel guilty. I wish I could read her mind, now more than anything.

"Well, Edward. Thing is…" She started. "I was bored," She said simply. I was now angry.

"SO I AM JUST YOUR PLAYTOY?!!!" I shouted. She winced back,

_Wow. Did Edward shout at Bella. What the Hell?! _

"No. Of course not Edward. You are my Cute, Lovable playtoy" She said with a grin,

"WHAT?!" I screamed. Bella shielded her ears.

_Oh Em Gee Eddie just shouted at Bella. This is a sick cruel world! First I cant see and have sex with Rosalie. Now Eddie is being mean. I think I might die! _**Emmett**

I looked at Emmett.

"Emmett, it is your own fault you can't see or have sex with Rosalie!" I exclaimed. Bella gave me a weird look.

"From anger to horny…Wow Edward," Alice mumbled. I looked at her,

"Shut up Alice, Emmett was thinking of something." I answered.

"How can I not think of Rose, I mean it has been years! I need sex!" He shouted. He turned his head, he was now facing Bella. He then began wiggling his eyebrows.

"Emmett," I growled, Bella finally getting the concept of what he meant blushed deep red.

"Aww come one Eddie I'm HORNYYY please, as a kind brother! I would let you have sex with Rosalie to fufill your pleasurable needs!" He exclaimed. Bella was turning darker shade every minute.

"EMMETT I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY SISTER!" I shouted.

"Fine then. Jasper is now my favourite," He snapped.

"Aww really. Please no Emmett," I said sadly. I then shrugged, "Over it," I said simply. Emmett pouted, He started pouting harder

_Oh my god ITS NOT WORKING? I AM LOSING IT!!!!!!!!!! _**Emmett**

I got up and started walking away. Bella stopped me before hand.

"Edward, please I am sorry. Help us!" She begged. I looked at her. I nodded,

"Okay, fine. Maybe, what are you doing?" I asked.

_How can we trust him __**Emmett**_

_He better not be lying _**Alice**

"Guys I swear on my life," I said, Emmett shook his head,

"Your life has no value, to us anyway" He stated. I shrugged.

"Guys, I can't say that didn't hurt, but I feel the same way about your lives so, I will let you off. So, fine I swear on Bella's life," I knew that would make him believe me. They nodded.

"Okay well we are planning to prank Carlisle…again. How would you feel about that?!" Alice asked. I nodded.

"Reasonable enough, what do you have in mind?" I asked curiously,

"Well we are planning to give him his first doctors training course.…" They said. I smiled.

"Sounds good, let's do it." I ran and picked up the phone. Emmett ran in front of me

Blocking my path.

"Edward, since you are new to this whole prank calling thing, you need to know the rules." He began glaring at me, that were close to burning holes in me.

"FIRST…I DO THE PRANK CALLING. SECOND I AM IN CHARGE…" He started. Bella interrupted him,

"Uhh Emmett your not in--" He then interrupted me.

_Oh no she didn't _**Emmett**

"THIRD NO ONE INTERRUPPTS ME" He declared.

_Pushy much! _**Alice **

Everyone nodded. Emmett grabbed the phone, "and Edward I think you should stand and watch, this prank call buissness can be a bit difficult" Emmett soothed. I shook his head vigorously, "IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD!" I shouted, Emmett looked at me puzzled

"What would make you think that dear brother?" Alice asked

"YOU DO IT!" I shouted at Emmett, grabbed the phone and began dialing.

**Carlisle **_Emmett,Bella,Alice and Edward_

**Hello..?**

_Helloooo_

**Oh hey Edward how are you?**

_What the hell old man_

_*hang up*_

I can't believe he knew!

_Typical he gets caught. Man I might have to let him go… _**Emmett**

"How did he know," I asked aloud,

"Maybe because you, being not talented demanded to take the call and DIDN'T EVEN DISGUISE YOUR FRICKING VOICE!" He said, his voice rising ever higher.

"Yeah sorry…" I apologised.

"Yeah Edward this isn't working, you need to let go… okay." Emmett began.

"What the hell Emmett? Your holding to my arm…" Emmett looked down.

"Oh, my bad," He said. I started laughing. I turned to Bella, I mouthed I love you, she smiled I leaned forward a placed my lips on hers. Cool shivers broke through my body. Emmett fake coughed,

"Leave them alone Emmett" I heard Alice say. "Wait until they are finished."

"They better be less than 5 minutes." He demanded.

"Emmett you are longer than that with Rosalie!" Alice argued, I saw Emmett shrug

"What can I saw, I have more stamina than him," I saw him smile. I broke away from Bella.

**[A/N I know Edward was surprisingly observant while kissing Bella]**

"Finally!" Emmett sighed, I smiled. "Okay guys, now you have finished that snogging we can continue!" He said. Bella blushed, I just laughed,

"Well we have decided to prank call Paul,"

"What should we say," I asked.

"We will start his first Anger Management class!" Alice declared. Emmett picked up the phone and began dialling.

**Paul **_Emmett, Bella, Alice and Edward_

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is _

**[A/N aint updated in ages so I will put two chapters together plus it would be short otherwise! Say your thanks by reviewing]**

_Anger Management Society For Young Peers_

**Oh My God… FINALY **

_Are you ready for your first anger management class?_

**Well you have cheek…I mean I wait for weeks and you just think I will come back to you…Well maybe I have moved on..!**

_Have you…Okay then_

**I MIGHT HAVE. I DON'T THINK IT IS ANY OF YOU BUISNESS!**

_Well I guess you haven't! Your tone can be demanding_

**You know me so well *sniffle* when can I come?**

_Tonight…_

**Okay… in the hall**

_Yes_

**I will be there. Is it normal for a teenage boy to have anger---**

_*hang up*_

"Let's get ready guys!" Alice shouted. Emmett began running off and exited the room. Me, Bella and Alice began organising it.

_3…2…1 _**Alice**

Emmett entered. "What do we do?" We all laughed.

"I knew it," Bella muttered, Alice stood up,

"Well we need to undergo plastic surgery! We will be in the best high tech disguise," We walked off to start our plastic surgery

HOURS LATER…

We had had top plastic surgeon by the top surgeon in the world. We were now unrecognisable.

_What the hell…! How did it take 3HOURS just to put a mask on?! _**Emmett**

Alice stared at him, as if he had thought it out loud.

"Emmett McCartey Cullen I know what you are thinking! The masks had to be on at the right proportion, one millimetre off, and it could give it away!" She defended.  
"Yes, but, not arguing or anything, wouldn't Paul guess by Emmett's size I mean only Emmett and Mike Tyson have that body!" I argued.

"Yeah and I doubt he would think Mike Tyson would work at AMSFYP!" Bella agreed. Alice shrugged,

"Wait, you guys are talking about Paul. The dog that doesn't know the difference between jelly and jam?! The Paul who is DUMBER than Emmett?! That Paul?!" She said. I realised she was right.

"Point taken!" We agreed. We made our way to the hall.

PaulPOV

**Paul **_Emmett, Bella, Alice and Edward_

**Hello..?**

_Hello this is __Anger Management Society For Young Peers _That rings a bell. OH I remember

**Oh My God… FINALLY **I was a tad bit angry, but overwhelmingly happy. I mean I have been getting more and more frustrated.

_Are you ready for your first anger management class? _Hell yeah!!! But I think I should play hard to get.

**Well you have cheek…I mean I wait for weeks and you just think I will come back to you…Well maybe I have moved on..! **I annouced

_Have you…Okay then _They took that calmly

**I MIGHT HAVE. I DON'T THINK IT IS ANY OF YOU BUISNESS! **I was losing control

_Well I guess you haven't! Your tone can be demanding_ Think happy thoughts. .HipidyHip.

**You know me so well *sniffle* when can I come?**

_Tonight…_

**Okay… in the hall**

_Yes_

**I will be there. Is it normal for a teenage boy to have anger---**

_*hang up*_

I ran upstairs to get ready. I couldn't wait.

HOURS LATER…

I had dressed in a suit, in a attempt to look my best. I started making my way to the hall. I got in my car a revved the engine. It made a painful grunt,

"WHAT!!!!" I did it again it repeated this. "WHY ME?! WHY NOW GOD. I WANTED TO MAKE MY SELF A GOOD REPUTATION!!!!!!!!! I WAS IMPROVING MY FUTURE!" I whined. I got out my phone.

**Paul **_Jake_

**Hey Jake can you give me a lift somewhere?**

_Where?_

**I need to do some lessons**

_I thought you were underachieving! Wait…haha very funny Paul I know you are going to prank me!!! _

_*hang up*_

Great. I got up and started walking. I soon got there, the hall was empty. I was early! Good. I looked at my clock. I was 20 minutes late. Aww crap. I stared around the empty hall.

"WHY ME?! I WALK ALL THIS WAY, MESS UP SETH'S ONLY TUXEDO AND I DON'T EVEN GET MY LESSON!! I AM SOOO ANGRY!" I shouted aimlessly. Four people began walking towards me.  
"Sorry we had to go pin down Julie…again," I nodded.. One of them approached me it was a girl with HUGE muscles and could easily pass off as a man, I shook her hand, she gave me the evilest look I have EVER seen.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?! DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION?! I THOUGHT NOT!!" She screamed. I trembled back and sat down.

"I'm sorry I am Kate, this is Jack and Petula. Julie here has some severe anger issues." A girl that resembled Bella said.

"You can tell," I mumbled. Julie gave me the evils again. I stuck my tongue out at her,

"IF YOU STICK THAT SLIMY PINK THING OUT YOUR MOUTH ONE MORE TIME I WILL CUT IT OFF!" She shouted. I whimpered at the thought.

**[A/N: Julie is Emmett; Kate is Bella; Jack is Edward and Petula is Alice]**

Petula looked at me, "Seriously, she's not kidding," She said while pointing at Jack. I realised he had a bandage aroung his tongue.

"Wshe Weawy ibn't" Jack tried to say **[A/N He is saying She really isn't]**

"Can we get this class started please. Sit down," Kate said.

"What about the others?" They looked at each other.

"They are running late…" They said.

"1 hour late?" I said questioningly.

"It can happen…I mean especially in supermarkets!" Julie whispered. I laughed at that. I sat down quickly.

"So for the first lesson you will be given this leaflet." They said, and handed me a leaflet. They then started walking off.

"What?! That's it?!" I asked they turned around and nodded. I growled.

"WHAT THE HELL?! THAT IS RIDICULOUS!"

"See you next week!" Kate shouted, laughing,

"Okay then, bye," I sighed. I sat down and started reading the booklet. I sat on the edge of my seat, Julie was intently staring at me.

"h-haven't you g-g-got one?" I stammered. She shook her head. Great. I started reading the booklet

**FIRST STEP IS ADMITITNG YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! OR OTHERS ADMITTING IT FOR YOU! WELL DONE **I smiled at that.

**Don't feel guilty if you knock down old ladies. They are travelling under the speed limit. Just knock them down and carry on, people may think this is cruel. If they do show them this booklet.**

**Smashing things: Some may say it's because of anger. Here at AMSFYP we think it is to show your creative ability. And strength.**

**HERE IS A £5 NOTE WHICH WILL HELP YOU BUY A HELMET FOR EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY, FOR WHEN YOU BLOW**

**GOOD LUCK**

"That's all they say?! What" I asked out loud.

"I know, Typical," Julie said. I could feel her breath tickling her neck… WHAT?! I turned around swiftly.

"What the hell Julie?!" I asked. Julie pouted,

"Don't you want me?" She questioned.

"I have a size limit, you are exceeding it. By a lot!" I know it was mean. But it could never work

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! IM FAT?! I HAVE BEEN GOING TO FATFIGHTERS. I HAVE LOST 6LBS!"

"Wow. In how long?" She looked down,

"5 years." She paused. "BUT MY COACH SAID I WAS DOING WELL!" She argued. I looked at her. I said the 3 words that could possibly end my life…

"Yeah they lied,"

CarlislePOV

We had been planning how to prank Emmett, Alice and Bella. We couldn't think of any ideas.

"Why don't we do a MAHOOSIVE prank on them?! That is like 10 times bigger than theirs on us?!" Mike suggested, "Oohh I know, we can take all their pride and possessions!" Mike thought. And evil smiled broke through my face.

"Why stoop that low?" I said trying to keep my poker face on, "When you can stoop lower?! LET'S KIDNAP THEM!" I declared

**YOU LIKE?! FAVE CHAPPY?! THIS WAS TWO CHAPTERS PUT INTO ONE. SO I AM HOPING I GET LOTS MORE REVIEWS!! 20 AT LEAST GUYS HELP ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL UPDATE SOONER THAN I DID LAST TIME ONLY IF YOU REVIEW REVIEW**

**DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE KIDNAPPED?**


	46. Kidnapping Part I

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT ALL BELONGS TO STEPEHENIE MEYER.**

**Chapter 46**

**READER NOTICE: I might be ending this soon so review if you don't want me too!**

**Tell me what you think. Vote on my Poll! Otherwise I probably will end it :S**

**Review and say if I should or shouldn't AND a reason! **

**THANKS**

**PaulPOV**

**Recap:** _"5 years." She paused. "BUT MY COACH SAID I WAS DOING WELL!" She argued. I looked at her. I said the 3 words that could possibly end my life…_

"_Yeah they lied,"_

Julie's eyes went round, she edged closer to me growling. I backed up. I was all alone. I was terrified.

"I was joking Julsie Baby," I said soothingly.

"ARE YOU MY DAD?!" She asked. I vigorously shook my head. "WELL WHY THE HELL WERE YOU CALLING ME JULSIE BABY?!" She paused. I decided not to reply. "SO SHUT THE HELL UP!" She shouted. I was shaking worriedly, I could only say 4 words, which only dug the hole deeper.

"Please don't eat me," I whispered. That was the worst thing I could say. Julie stared at me,

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" She shouted. How could people not hear me, and come rescue me?

"Didn't you hear me then?" Phew.

"OF COURSE I HEARD YOU!"

"Well sorry, but you referred that you didn't by stating that fact!" I can't believe I said that. Julie raised her arm. Aww s**t she is going to slap me. I shielded my face, 5 seconds later, nothing had happened. I snuck a peek out. I then heard loud wailing noises,

"WHO THE HELL IS FREAKING CRYING WHEN I AM ABOUT TO BE MURDERED BY A 10 FT BEAST?" I shouted. I looked around frustrated. I then saw Julie on the ground, shriveled up and crying, although no tears were falling,

"Oops, what's wrong Lard—I mean Julie," She looked at me. "Oh your not crying," She shook her head.

"I AMMM" She wailed.

"What's wrong?" I soothed,

"WELL—I AM NOT THAT FAAAAAT. I MEANN WHEN IT'S SUMMER WHY DOES MY DAD LAUGH AT ME FOR WEARING SHORT SHORTS?! IT'S NOT THAT FUNNNYYYYYY" She said inbetween wails. I nodded,

"It's normal for a big girl to wear shorts," She let out another wail, "I mean big as in height wise," She still wailed. "Oh My God I need to get out of here," I stood up and began walking out, my feet felt really heavy, I looked down. Julie was hanging on my leg, wailing,

"DON'T LEAVEE MEEE" She wailed. I sighed.

"I'm sorry, but I have a life,"

"SHARE MINEEEEEEEEE" She begged. I shook my head. I had had enough. I bent down and slapped her,  
"LISTEN TO ME! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. THE SOONER YOU REALISE YOU ARE A FAT LUMP OF LARD, THE BETTER, NOW GET UP AND SHOW THE WORLD YOU ARE NOT FAT!" It went silent, I had shut her up. I silently cheered. All of a sudden she started wailing again. Dear Lord.

"Butt I Am f-f-f-fat!" She wailed.

"Not a fan of the tough love? Okay" I said mainly to myself. "ANYWHOO, STRIDE OUT THAT DOOR WITH PRIDE," I said pointing to the door, She lifted herself off the ground **[a/N : remember she (Julie) is Emmett,]** She began walking,

"That's it, go on Julie," I encouraged. The floor started shaking.

"EARTHQUAKE. EVERYMAN TO HIMSELF!" I shouted. I turned to Julie she was on the floor, Crap.

"THAT WAS MEEE" She wailed. I decided to run out the door. As I reached it, the three other helpers entered.

"So how was Julie?" Kate said. I shrugged. "Any fits?" Kate asked,

"Just a little brief one," I answered. I strode out the door. Oh My god that was the worst hours in my life! I looked at my watch. It had only been FIVE minutes.

**Emmett/JuliePOV**

After my fake fit. I walked over to Bella, Edward and Alice. They were all laughing,

"That was priceless! His thoughts!" Edward said.

"Oh My God, Even I didn't know what was next!" Alice laughed.

"I applaude you Emmett," Bella said patting my back.

**[A/N sorry for the shortness] **

**CarlislePOV**

**Recap: **_We had been planning how to prank Emmett, Alice and Bella. We couldn't think of any ideas._

"_Why don't we do a MAHOOSIVE prank on them?! That is like 10 times bigger than theirs on us?!" Mike suggested, "Oohh I know, we can take all their pride and possessions!" Mike thought. And evil smiled broke through my face._

"_Why stoop that low?" I said trying to keep my poker face on, "When you can stoop lower?! LET'S KIDNAP THEM!" I declared_

Everyone cheered and clapped.

"That is a brilliant idea" Mike said. I smiled radiantly.

"So we need to plan how, when and where" I explained. Everyone nodded, "Any ideas?" I asked openly. Everyone shrugged.

"Well, I think we should do it like now, they would be at Bella's I think, and for how. Umm we could get them one by one, splitting into groups." I explained.

"Okay, let's split into groups,"

"Jessica, Lauren, Mike and Mr Banner can kidnap Bella," I said, Lauren shook her head,

"No way am I kidnapping her!" She debated.

"Yeah, why can't we kidnap Edward?" They whined. I shook my head. So did everyone else.

"no way are you kidnapping Edward! You would probably harass him and tie him to a chair with ropes!" I said whilst laughing.

"We're not that obsessesed." We all laughed. Out the corner of my eye I spotted Lauren put a long rope back into her bag. Jeez, they are crazy.

"Well anyway we are not kidnapping Edward…" I said.

"So moving on…Jasper and Rosalie can kidnap Emmett, and Paul, Me and Aro can kidnap Alice. Everyone okay with that?" I asked. Everyone nodded,

"Okay, everyone split!" I commanded. My group came over.

"Okay guys, let's go get Alice," I said. We all got in to my car and made our way there.

"Won't Alice see us?" Paul asked. I shook my head,

"Oh, I forgot to tell you if someone is near or with a wolf she can't see, the future disappears." I explained.

"Extraordinary," Aro whispers.

"Oi Doc can you roll down the windows, the Vamp smell is killing me!" Paul whined. I began rolling down the window,

"Trust me, you don't smell to good either!" I said back, laughing Aro soon joined in.

"Were here," Paul grunted. We got out and made our way up to the door. I heard heavy footsteps.

"Ooh Big Footed Giant, lighten up," I whisper shouted. He scowled, but obeyed. I peeked through the window.  
"Guys, Alice is sitting down, Let's knock on the door and hope she answers it," I said,

"And if she doesn't…" I thought for a minute,

"Then we in deep crap." I said simply. I went and knocked on the door. I then ran back to cover.

"Hello?!" Alice said whilst looking round,

"Ready guys," I whispered.

"I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS!! EMMETT IF THAT IS YOU, YOU HAIRY, LARGE EFFING IDIOT!" She threatened.

"3..2..1.." I started counting. "Zero," On that we all sprinted to the door and lifted up Alice,

"AAAHHH, what the hell?! GET OFF OF ME!" She shrieked. We quickly ran into the car, and chucked her in the car boot. She started banging on the boot.

"Alice, stop it!" I said.

"Carlisle?! I thought I was your favourite." She whined.

"Your not!" I yelled back. "Bella is" I answered.

"BUT SHE'S NOT EVEN BLOOD RELATED!"

"NEITHER ARE YOU!" I yelled back. "NOW DEAL WITH IT AND SHUT UP" She then went silent. We began driving back.

**LaurenPOV**

We started driving to go capture Bella. MWAHAHA. I need to work on that evil laugh.

"Why do we even have to kidnap stupid Bella?!" I asked aloud, everyone looked at me, it had been the billionth time I had said it,

"Lauren, we are not in school, so I am pretty sure I could kill you," Mr Banner said. Mike shook his head,

"As much as I would LOVE you to kill her, I am pretty sure it is illegal anywhere," Mr Banner looked down,

"Well that means I could be put away for a while then," He said.

"You've killed people?!" Mike said in awe,

"One," He said. I looked at him, "Fine Two," We all looked at him again "STOP LOOKING AT ME, IT BURNS! Just a few dozen." He said.

"Mr Banner." I said,

"aww don't Mr Banner me! You've thought about it too!" He mimicked.

"I may have with some *cough*Bella*cough* but I don't go through with it," I answer. We soon arrived at Bella's house.

"Guys, be really quiet." I warned, everyone nodded, I crept to the window. "She is eating in the kitchen." I waved everyone in and mouthed 'Let's Go' Everyone followed.

**BellaPOV**

I walked over to Emmett,

"Emmett, where is Alice?" I asked,

"How would I know where that hoe is?" He said.

"Emmett! She's your sister!" I scolded. He looked at me.

"Sorry, it's the Xbox speaking!" He said. I nodded.

"Whatever, anyway, she is missing,"

"She's probably shopping," He said. He then turned his attention back to the screen,

"No I went upstairs and it looks like she was in the middle of sorting out here cashmere tops!" I said. Emmett jumped.

"Something terrible must of happened!" He paused, "Oh well, she was no use to us anyway! She was dragging us down, our anchor to the ship, our--"

"I get it Emmett, it's just it would be nice if you actually show some care." I said.

"Oh, my bad, I mean. Where could she of gone, this is disastrous, I cannot function without her here, kill me, kill me now!" He said dramatically. I laughed. He paused the game and got up and walked to the kitchen. He came back with a drink,

"Emmett you do know you are a vampire," I asked.

"Yes, of course, what do you think I am, stupid?!" He said. I opened my mouth to say something, but he interrupted me, "Don't answer that actually," I laughed.

"So is that for me?" He looked around the room,

"Well, seeing as you are the only human, I guess so,"

"What is it?"

"Water," He replied coolly, I looked at the glass carefully, it was fizzing

"Emmett, why is it fizzing?" I asked suspiciously. He shrugged.

"Are you sure you aren't drugging me?" I asked. He looked up,

"umm, nooo I am not drugging you, that is evil. I may have put some alcohol though," He whispered the last part, but I could hear him, I decided to pretend I didn't.

"Okay, thanks," I raised the glass to my lips, I was planning to put it on my lips and not drink it. I was about to drink it. Emmett smile grew wider and wider. Just then the door rang.

"Aww what a shame," I said sarcastically, Emmett pouted,

"Aww what that is unfair!!" Emmett whined. I skipped off smiling,

"LIFE'S NOT FAIR EM," I shouted back,I opened the door, Lauren was standing there,

"hey Bella, we have come to like, kidnap you so be flexible okay, good!" She said in a bored voice. Her, Jess and Mike all grabbed hold of me and shoved me in the boot of their car. I started slaming the sides.

"LET ME OUTTTT" I screamed. I could hear there muffled voices,

"Well done team," Mr Banner said,

"What do you mean team, you done nothing but do Sudoku!" Lauren snapped. I laughed.

"It cleanses the soul," He said. I tuned out and slamed the sides of the car.

"LET ME OUTTT" They just ignored me,

"Bitches," I whispered.

**JasperPOV**

Me and Rosalie got in the car and made our way to Bella's house. We looked in, Emmett was the only one in there,

"Rose, Emmett is all alone, let's get him," I commanded

**EmPOV **

"BELLA, WHO WAS ITTT!" I called, there was no reply. I started to get worried. I should go find her. But I was nearly making a world record on the Xbox. Should I stop it and pause it and look for my sister, or should I carry on, I mean she can fend for herself. I could pause but I would lose the flow. I stayed on the game. Bella can find her way home. Hopefully. I saw 2 quick blurs I was then seized by two people, obviously vampires. I screamed like a girl.

"LET ME GOOO" I shouted. they laughed. I heard it was Jasper and Rosalie. Traitors. I was shoved in the boot. I realized I was in my Jeep, I then decided not to hit anymore. I heard Edward's faint voice,

"ladedaaadidaaadeedaaa" He started singing, "I can't believe I double crossed the others, Emmett, Alice and Bella all the way" He chanted. Jasper heard him and him and Rosalie went and caught Edward, he was shoved in the back with. It was cramped.

"THIS BOOT ONLY FITS ONE PERSON!!!!" I shouted. Edward turned around,

"Oh, heyy Emmett, they got you too!" He said. I laughed,

"Yup," Jasper started accelerated, suddenly the car came to a massive stop, me and Edward were flung into the back seats.

"ow," I muttered. I peeked out the window. I saw two police officers.

"Excuse me, you were going quite fast, but that is not the main concern, we thought we saw two people in the back of our car, tied up, are we correct?" One said, Rosalie looked at Jasper.

"You are incorrect," Jasper said coolly,

"Well, you wouldn't mind if we check," They said,

"Of course, not. But in advance we have two VERY lifelike mannequins in there," Rosalie said quickly,

"That will be taken into consideration." The officers said. They started coming towards the boot.

"Edward come on, let's go to the other seat," We quickly transferred into the other seat. One officer opened the boot,

"It's empty boss," The other one looked confused,

"Oh okay," They then got in the car and drove off, me and Edward hopped back into the boot. We had gone about 5 miles, we were stopped again.

"OH MY GOD, GUYS KEEP YOUR EFFING HEADS DOWN!" Rosalie whisper shouted. We ducked.

"WHAT IS IT?! STOP CARS DAY?!" Rosalie shouted at them,

"No, that's tomorrow," One answered. I laughed.

Without warning the officers opened the boot, Crap.

"What are these gentleman doing in here?" One asked.

"They are our siblings,it's a family joke," Jasper said, laughing. The police officer didn't buy it.

"Let's ask the gentlemen," I looked at Edward.

"Well, we are being held against our will in this cramped car, they should be arrested!" I said. Jasper and Rosalie looked at me. I stuck my tug out, "We have been In there for days, without food or water!" Half of it was true, I guess. The police officers looked appalled. Young Lady, Young man, please step out of your vehicle.

"It's not mine," Jasper debated.

"So it's stolen!" The police officer said.

"no, no it isn't."

"Guys, you could be facing 5 years minimum," The Police officer warned.

"We have eternity but," Jasper started "RUN ROSE RUN," They both jumped in the car

"GET IN THE CAR GUYS," We hopped in, they immediately drove off. "EAT OUR DUST POLICE," Jasper and Rosalie shouted.

10 MINUTES LATER…

BPOV

We had been blindfolded for like 10 minutes. I could feel I was tied to a chair. The blindofolds were soon removed. All I saw was a bright light. I couldn't see anything.

"Is this really necessary?" Emmett asked.

"Oh sorry," I heard a voice say. The lights were faded into a bearable view. I saw Emmett, Edward and Alice tied to a stone column with metal chains. I saw; Japer, Rosalie, Carlisle, Mike, Jess, Lauren, Aro, Mr Banner and Paul. They were all dressed in the same thing…

Black cloaks, red contacts, long nails, high white collar and bright white fangs dripping with fake blood.

"Aww Crap…" Me, Emmett, Edward and Alice muttered.

**LONGEST CHAPTER YET I THINK :) GOO ME**

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	47. Kidnapping Part II INTERROGATIONS

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, never have**

**Never will. I am now over it!**

**Deep down I am not!**

**Previously**

_BPOV_

_We had been blindfolded for like 10 minutes. I could feel I was tied to a chair. The blindofolds were soon removed. All I saw was a bright light. I couldn't see anything._

"_Is this really necessary?" Emmett asked._

"_Oh sorry," I heard a voice say. The lights were faded into a bearable view. I saw Emmett, Edward and Alice tied to a stone column with metal chains. I saw; Japer, Rosalie, Carlisle, Mike, Jess, Lauren, Aro, Mr Banner and Paul. They were all dressed in the same thing…_

_Black cloaks, red contacts, long nails, high white collar and bright white fangs dripping with fake blood._

"_Aww Crap…" Me, Emmett, Edward and Alice muttered._

**Chapter 47**

**EPOV**

"What's up with the costumes, Carlisle?" Bella asked. Carlilse looked shocked.

"How did you know it was me?!" He said astonished,

"We—" Bella started. Emmett interrupted.

"Well first off, your fashion sense, I mean red eyes. SOO last year! And the high white collar. What vampire movies do you watch. And don't get me started on the--" He said

"That was a rhetorical question, but thanks for that Emmett," Carlisle said through gritted teeth. Emmett shrugged.

"Someone had to tell you hun," **[A/N SOOO OOC for Emmett] **Carlisle forced a smile. Carlisle began approaching us, with a lamp.

"For the benefit of you, I will tell you. It was 3 for 2" Emmett crossed his eyes,

"But there is 9 of you," He said. Mike nodded,

"Yes Emmett, do the math!" Mike said.

"MIKE, in case you haven't noticed. I AM NOT THAT CLEVER!" Emmett shouted. Everyone laughed. I looked at him weirdly.

"Okay, everyone SILENCE," Aro demanded, his voice echoing through the room.

"Carlisle, is this really necessary?" I asked. He nodded.

"Well, my dear son, since you all have been pranking us, we want our own back." Carlisle said with a grin.

"Ooohh, the pranks. That was them," I said whilst pointing to the others.

_OMG you ratted us out! _**Alice**

_EDWARD YOU A-HOLE _**Emmett**

I felt immediately guilty, Carlisle looked taken aback.

"Edward, grassing your fellow team members? Well since you didn't do anything, you are free to go," Carlilse announced, he released me. I jumped out my seat and began skipping away.

"HAHAH GUYS, I am freee!!!! You guys suckkkk. I just lied and they believe me GUTTED!" I said without thinking. Carlisle and Jasper seized me.

"Thanks for grassing _yourself_ up there Edward. You can now go in the dungeon," Carlisle said with a evil laugh. "Mike, take him there!" He shouted. Mike looked confused,

"Where is that?" Mike asked. Carlisle sighed.

"It's the store cupboard." Carlisle said pointing to a cupboard. Mike nodded and walked off, with me in his grasp. I started to struggle

_Yeah. BYE Eddy _**Alice**

_Loser! _**Emmet**

"Let Goooo Mike," I begged. He shook his head. "Please,"

"No, kandooo mate," Mike joked. I glared at him.

"Fine, YOU DON'T NEED TO MAHANDLE ME!" I shouted. Mike immediately let go, and started leading me into 'the dungeon'.

"Mike, Carlisle meant that cupboard." I said poiting. Mike shook his head.

"Oohh, my bad," He said and shoved me in the cupboard. He turned off the lights. It was pitch black but I could see with my eyesight. The door was closed and locked it. Rats scuttered across the floor, cobwebs hung from the ceiling. I looked in the corner. I was blinded by a bright pink thong. Inside it had a label

**MRS COPE**

I turned away in disgust. I then saw tartan boxers with pink hearts on them. And that's why I don't let my mum shop for me. There was a label surrounded in pink hearts

**MICHAEL PATRICK NEWTON**

OMG Mike lost his virginity to a 60 year old teacher. I need to tell people this!

BPOV

We were still securely tied to the chair.

"We will be back in 5 minutes. THEN we will interrogate you," Carlisle said with authority. Jess looked confused.

"What does that mean?!" Lauren sighed.

"OH EM GEE Jess, you are so stupid interrogate is a make up brand." She said. I laughed.

"No Lauren, it means asks questions!" I said smiling,

"I can still beat your fat ass at anything," She said while sticking her tongue.

"Wow, Lauren that hurt, not only physically, but MENTALLY," I said wiping a fake tear from my eye. With that they all walked off. Emmett shuffled in his chair. He was soon facing us.

"So guys, what have you been up to recently?" Emmett asked. I looked at him in disbelief.

"WELL SINCE I HAVE BEEN IMMOBILE FOR HOURS NOTHING!" Alice shouted. Emmett nodded,

"What about you Bella?" He asked calmly.

"Well Emmett, apart from being tied- against my will- to a chair. NOTHING MUCH!" I paused. "What about you Emmett," I asked sweetly.

"Well thank you for asking. But basically the same situation as you! What a coinkidink!" [**A/N I know it aint a word so don't flame me for it!] **I sighed. "Also, don't be so pessimistic. Just think, instead of seeing yourself tied up to a chair or pole. Think of it as a close friendship you have with it. And you can't bare to part. Let's sing! 100 green bottles of beer on a wall if one fell off there would be 99 bottles of beer. 99 green bottles of beer on the wall"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screamed.

"Out of all the people I could be tied in a room with. It has to be Emmett." Alice said. Everyone soon entered.

EPOV

I had zoned out thinking happy thoughts. Suddenly the door burst open, Mike thundered in.

"Come on, Come with me!" He said in a demanding voice, but it didn't make me budge.

"Why." I asked, Mike crossed his arms.

"Come on Cullen. I am sick with your attitude come now!" He said sternly.

"Why should I?" I asked with attitude. "You're the one who lost your virginity with Mrs COPE!" I shouted. Mike looked open mouth.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW," He shouted. I smiled, but didn't give a reason how I knew. He looked panicked.

_I swear I left my sex book in my room! _**Mike**

"I have my ways," I said with a wink.

_Did he just wink at me *faint* not the time Michael _**Mike**

"never repeat this conversation again Edward!" He shouted. I shrugged.

"mmkay." He looked at me suspiciously.

"I don't believe you, I think you will tell everyone!" Mike stated. I nodded,

"You're right. I will." I said smiling.

"Fine," Mike huffed and walked off.

"Aww crap, that was my key to freedom." I muttered to myself. "MIKE COME BACK!" I shouted. Wow they were 3 words I never thought I would say! I thought. There was no reply. A dark, big shadow appeared in the doorway. The person turned on the light. It was Aro.

"Oh, sorry wrong cupboard. Sorry. Bye," he started. I began interrupting him.

"NO NO ARO, my dear friend. You know we have always been best buds." I said smiling ridiculously large. He shook his head. " Ooh when I say I want to KILL you, it means I LOVE you, me and my family like to play opposites!" I said fake laughing. He shrugged.

"Okaaay. You want me to let you out don't you?" I nodded, he came unchained me and let me out. We made our way to the hall. I was then tied up against the pole…again.

"Interrogation time" They all said with a smile. I smiled back nervously.

"Okay…Emmett first." Emmett nervously walked into the corner. In a chair.

EmPOV

I sat down in the seat. Looking frantically around. Aro, Carlisle and Lauren were questioning me.

"So Emmett, where were you at roughly 1 week ago?" Aro asked.

"Umm…I have a calendar--" I started.

"GET IT OUT!" Lauren shouted. I frantically reached in my pocket.

"Umm---I-i-I was in the library and started my menstrual cycle." I started. Carlisle looked at me weirdly. It was then I realised what happened. "I think this is Bella's" I said quietly.

"You THINK?!" They all shouted.

"Well anyway umm---I was in my house innocently in my bedroom." I said calmly.

BEEP

"OH MY GOD." I got up and stood on my chair. "DO NOT PANIC. BUT THERE IS A BOMB IN THIS ROOM! DO NOT RUN OR MOVE." I shouted. Everyone looked at me.

"Emmett, it's a lie detector." Lauren said. I sat down.

"I knew that, I was just joking!" I smiled and looked down.

"Next question. Did you prank call everyone with the help of Bella and Alice?" They asked. I started shaking.

"umm---no." They stared at me, "OKAY OKAY, I TOOK THE LAST COOKIE IN THE JAR," I cried.

BEEP

"YOU LIAR," Aro shouted.

"Really, I thought I did. Oh well" I muttered I got out my chair and ran back to the others.

"OH MY GOD, They give you the evils, they make you say everything and I mean EVERYTHING!" I growled.

"Am I next?!" Carlisle shook his head.

"No. Emmett told us ALL the information we need thank you." He said calmly.

"THE LIE DETECTOR IS LYING!" I screeched.

BEEP

I turned to the lie detector. "It's lying!" I declared. Everyone nodded sympathetically.

BEEP

I reached in my jacket, got my baseball bat and started smashing the lie detector. I had finished.

"I think it's broken now." I said, sliding the bat back into my jacket. Everyone looked at me astonished.

"Drastic measures." I muttered.

BEEP

I turned around, "HOW the hell?!" I then see Edward laughing. "Mature Eddie, REAL mature." I mutter. Carlisle went to the middle of the room.

"Alice come with me." She hesitantly followed. Mike bent down to do his laces, a thin book fell out. I raced and picked it up.

"OI GIVE IT BACK," He shouted. I raised it high a began reading it.

**MIKE'S SEX BOOK**

**AUGUST 14 2005 **

It was empty, I flicked through the pages. They all had dates. But was empty. I finally got to one which had writing in.

**DECEMBER 23 2009**

It had swirly writing. I could not read who. Edward looked over my shoulder.

"Oh that's Mrs Cope." Mike flushed red,

"Edward, you promised,"

"Yeah, I also promised to be nice to you. As you can tell. It aint working to well!" Edward said laughing

"MRS COPE?!" I shouted. I was laughing so hard my air supply was cut off, not that I needed it.

"Well, it was cold, I was asking for a icepack. She led me to the cupboard and one thing lend to another!" He explained. The thought made me laugh even more.

"If this was my sex book, number one Mrs Cope won't be in here! and i would have it full on this day, that day, and that day, oooh this day, that was a good day. MOSTLY EVERYDAY!" Our laughter was interrupted by Carlilse's voice

"INTRODUCING THE NEW ALICE CULLEN" He said gesturing her to come out.

"No Carlisle I look like a Gypsy!"

"Your meant to…" Carlisle said as he dragged her on stage

"OH MY GOD," Everyone said in unison

**I Am going on holiday to New York and the Bahamas straight after. So no updates for 11 days! :O PLEASE REVIEW STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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	48. Kidnapping Part III COSTUMES

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight :(**

**BUT I DO…in my dreams**

**I'M BACK FROM HOLIDAY! Sorry I aint updated in so long *ducks from flying rubbish being thrown at me* **

**Chapter 48 **

**BPOV**

We all turned to look at Alice again. Emmett boomed with laughter, everyone soon joined in. I laughed nervously, as I valued my life. I couldn't believe what Alice was wearing. I looked her up and down again. She was covered in necklaces and rings. On her head she had a pink turban. Her face was plastered with make-up; blue eyeliner; red lipstick and bright pink blusher. She had three hooped ears on each ears, fluorescent green stiletto heels, multicoloured finger nails and green and orange leggings.

"Excuse me miss, the fancy dress party is tomorrow," Emmett joked. Alice glared at Emmett and then swivelled her head around to everyone else. Emmett looked at her top. It read:

**MAKE LOVE NOT WAR**

"Not that I disagree, but what the hell is that top?" Emmett said mouth agape; I could see Alice getting angry,

"Emmett you better shut up cos war might break out now" Jess said. Emmett shrugged and carried on

"And them fingers?! Did you dip them in a rainbow?! And what's that on your face? Poor excuse for make-up, I think a blind idiotic hobo could do better. Don't even get me STARTED on that turban. Also lady Gaga called, she wants her clothes back"

"I will have you know that this clothing was not my choice. Well this turban was the only thing I got to choose," She started. I could see in light pink glitter were

**ALICE**

I laughed, it was so typical of Alice.

"Well you didn't really take advantage of your choice did you? I mean you could of had anything. And you pick a turban." Emmett started, Alice growled, silencing him

"PINK," She shouted. Everyone looked at her unevenly. She put her head down. "It's a pink turban," She whispered.

"Really, I wouldn't of guessed," Aro said sarcastically. Alice glared.

"I will have you know that it took me 3 hours to make this velvet turban." She said proudly. Emmett scrunched up his face. I tried to lift my hand and place it on his shoulder, but then I realised I was tied up. Emmett scrunched his face harder.

"Emmett, don't give yourself a migraine with all that thinking," I joked. Emmett turned and slit his eyes. So I'm not that afraid of James or Victoria but Emmett- the dumbest person known to earth I am afraid of.

"FYI if I was not tied up to this damn pole I would sooo bitch slap you!" Emmett threatened. Edward growled.

"Did you just say FYI?! Hell Emmett that is sooo gay," Mike said. Everyone nodded,

"Yeah Emmett, even gayer than Mike" Edward interrupted.

"HEY," Mike shouted.

"Hush, hush Mike," I said, Mike obediently shut up.

"Anyway, ignoring that rude comment, I have realised, Alice that you only were away for 10 minutes…" Emmett pointed out. We all nodded.

"He's right Alice, we brought that for you ages ago for Halloween, and yeah you were only away for 10 minutes, 5 of which we were trying to get you out the door." Jasper stated.

"Okaay Emmett, thanks for pointing that out, for once in your life you actually THINK, and it's when I don't bloody want you too. Screw you" She said, losing her temper,

"Alice, we all figured out way before Emmett sooo," Jasper started

"I HATE YOU JASPER HALE," Alice shouted.

"Love you too babes," Jasper said, smiling. Alice just growled. Feeling the tension, Emmett decided to lighten the mood.

"Sooo Gypsy, what's my future?" He joked. Alice advanced on him, she was about to speak but Mike jumped up and interrupted.

"I KNOW, I KNOW, what she sees. WHAT SHE SEES is-is-is" Mike was bouncing up and down excitedly. Lauren put a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down Mike," She said soothingly. He started shaking his head vigorously,

" I can't Lauren," He said and just fainted, and landed with a thud. Everyone ignored the scene,

"Soo anyway what do you see gypsy?" Emmett repeated. I looked down to Mike,

"Guys, isn't that blood, he could be dying…" I stated. Everyone shrugged.

"Well, he was a waste of a life anyway," Jess said,

"True true," I said.

"So on with the future. Emmett I seee a little girl killing youuuuu," Alice said in a spiritual way. Emmett looked around frantically,

"My one weakness. Little girls. What is her name?!" Emmett said scared. Alice edged closer,

"Alice Cullen," Emmett laughed nervously,

"That's your name, what a coinkidink,"

"It is me," Alice said darkly, Emmett let out a scream.

"Okay thanks Alice, that's all we need." Aro said sliding a camera back into his pocket. I laughed. Emmett soon realised.

"I MEAN aaahh so scary a little girl, I'm not scared!" Emmett began shouting.

"Emmett the camera's off." Jess said.

"Aww man," Emmett sighed. "Oh well, at least Alice looks like an idiot." He said. Aro, Jess, Lauren, Mike and all the others came and grabbed Emmett,

"You are very much mistaken Em, your next," Mike said slyly,

"Well, you can't take me—WAIT when did Mike regain consciousness?!" Everyone shrugged. They began hauling Emmett out the room.

"NOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T TAKE ME!" He protested whilst digging his heels in the ground.

"Emmett be quiet okay!" Lauren demanded,

"NEVERRRR YOU WILL NOT TAKE ME ALIVE!" He shouted.

"Well that's okay then, because technically your dead," Aro whispered. Mike looked at him weirdly.

"Private joke," I mouthed to him, they began dragging him out,

"LET ME GOOO, POLICE POLICE HELP I AM BEING MANNAPPED!" He shouted loudly. "HELPPPP MEEEEEEEE," His voice echoed through the hall. I turned my head to Edward,

"He will be away for a while," I joked. Edward nodded. Edward started moving towards me. There was a fake cough. I looked over to see Alice and Mike.

"What the hell Mike I thought you left…forever." Edward grumbled. I laughed.

"Aww come on Edward, you know you like me," Mike joked. Edward glared. "You must admit before Bella came, we would of got together." He said seriously.

"Yes Mike, if Bella did not come along, we would be together, better yet…married" He said sarcastically.

"I know, if only Bella didn't come, then you wouldn't be hiding your sexuality," Mike said, completely ignoring my presence.

"Mike I was being sarcastic." Edward pointed out.

"Aww come on that prank call, that must of meant something," Edward shook his head,

"That's where you are wrong Mike, that's why it's called a PRANK call, it's a joke." Edward said calmly. Mike started pacing up to Edward,

"Mike back away, Mike" Edward said, frantically trying to move the pole,

"You will be mine Edward." He said,

"Just ignore my presence Mike," I said sarcastically. He looked at me,

"Oh hey Man stealer, I mean wanna go out?" Mike said.

"Ummm, when's good for you?" I asked. Edward looked at me, I winked at him.

"Thursday Next Week?" I shook my head.

"Sorry I am cleaning my dog that day," I said simply. Mike looked confused.

"But you don't have a dog," he replied. I smiled.

"Have you been stalking me or something? But no, I don't have a dog." I said smiling.

"So why can't you go?" Mike asked.

"Because I don't want to," I grinned at him. He looked down.

"So what bout you Edward?" Mike asked. I laughed.

"Mike my true love is over there" Edward said pointing over to me, I just blushed and wave.

"Edward, I am standing right here." Mike said with a flirtatious (attempted) smile. Edward shook his head. Mike's eyes widened. "Bella?!" Mike said in disbelief Edward nodded

"MIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Jess shouted from the other room, Mike looked frantically around.

"Help me," He whined "I mean. I love Jess bye," Mike said sadly and walked off, just before he exited he turned around.

"Bella, tell me when you want a dog. Because I can be quite feisty," Mike said winking, he then let out a growl.

"MIKEEEEEEEEEEEE," Lauren shouted, "GET YOUR FURRY ASS DOWN HERE!" She continued. Mike sighed.

"I SHAVE MY BUTT TWICE A WEEK" Mike shouted back

"NOT TAKING MUCH EFFECT!" Lauren shouted back

SHUT UP I AM SEDUCING BELLA!" He shouted back. I scoffed.

"MIKE NO YOU AREN'T GET OVER IT," She shouted back. Mike looked at me,

"I am seducing you Bella aren't I?" Mike asked me. I shook my head.

"Unless making me sick is seducing then no." I replied,

"It's a start," Mike mumbled, he walked out. I looked at Edward.

"He makes me physically sick." I said. Edward let out a chuckle.

**MPOV**

I walked out and made my way into the room Emmett and the others. I walked in smiling, satisfied that I had moved closer to going out with Bella or Edward.

"Hurry up Mike." Lauren shouted. I started running to them. I walked in.

"What do you want?" I moaned. I then looked up. I saw them all surrounding Emmett, I just saw the top of his head.

"Well we are having difficulty with putting this thing on Emmett, we need you to hold his arms down." Jess said.

"Okaaay," I agreed. They moved out the way I saw what Emmett was wearing. He had a summon wrestling outfit that had a sixpack, a wrestling medal around his waist, a medallion, clown shoes and a dumbbells. "And you need help with…?" I asked. Lauren held up a pink thong.

"This," She replied. I shook my head.

"No way." I said backing away.

"Mike if you don't do it I will shove my foot up your ass!" Lauren said.

"BELLA EDWARD HELP," I shouted desperately.

**EPOV**

"BELLA, EDWARD HELP!" I heard Mike shout. Bella looked at me.

"Do you think we should help him?" Bella asked. I shook my head.

"no," I answered.

"Wow Eddie, your evilness kinda turns me oooonnn" She purred, I looked at her uneasily.

"Bella you know we can't do it." I said calmly. She pouted.

"Fine didn't want to do it anyway." She mumbled.

"Bella, you don't want your first time, when we are tied to her chair and poles." I said. Bella just ignored me. There was an awkward silence. I looked over to her. The silence was killing me. I decided to fill the silence.

"So Bella. Hows life?" I asked looking at her. **[A/N I say that to fill silences lmaoo] **

"Fine, APART FROM THE--" She started a rant she was interrupted by Aro's voice

"INTRODUCING LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION THE CULLENATOR!" He boomed. Emmett came strolling in. I took in what he was wearing and laughed.

"Emmett what is that pink thread in you butt?" I asked smiling.

_Back off Eddie, _**Emmett**

I just smiled.

"Emmett, them muscles are HUGE…shame they aren't yours," Bella said, smirking. Emmett glared.

"Well my muscles are big, aren't they Rose?" Emmett asked. Rosalie looked at him

_PLEASE tell me he doesn't mean his beestings! _**Rosalie **

"Umm yeah babe, they are massive," Rosalie said. Emmett looked at her,

"WHY DID YOU HESITATE?!" He shouted.

"For dramatic effect." She answered. Emmett shrugged.

"Makes sense," Emmett replied.

"So Emmett, in case you have forgotten. What's that crap on you?!" Bella said.

"Oh shut up Edward." Emmett muttered.

"Emmett, who the hell thought of the name Cullenator?!" Bella asked,

"Me," He whispered so quiet humans couldn't hear,

"What's that Emmett?" I asked innocently.

"I DID OKAY!!!" He shouted.

"That's all I wanted to know." I said smiling.

"Your feet are big Em," Alice joked.

"IT'S THE SHOES!"

"And where did you win that plastic medal? Toys 'R' us?!" Mike said.

"I don't know. Mike you got it for me!" Emmett said. Mike blushed.

"Oh yeah…" He said. We all laughed. "I only went there because I was getting something for my sister!" He said.

"I've been round your house loads of times, and I have never seen her," Jess said.

"Well Lilo lives in the basement, AND NO IT'S NOT CHILD ABUSE!"Mike said raising his voice

"Well Em--" Mike started. Emmett interrupted.

"IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE I WILL KILL THEM!" He shouted. Mike smiled.

"Emmett you look amazing…" Mr Banner started. Emmett fluttered his eyelashes.

"Why thank you Mr Banner," Emmett said sweetly.

"Don't turn gay on me now Emmett," He replied. Emmett gave a dark chuckle.

"You are soo funny!" Emmett said laughing. Mr Banner glared at him.

"I'm serious!" Emmett immediately stopped laughing.

"SCREW YOU MR BANNER FROM NOW ON NO ONE SAY ANYTHING!" Emmett screamed. Mr Banner looked taken aback. "Can I still get an A mr Banner?" Emmett asked. Mr Banner shrugged.

"I don't know Emmett, you have to prove your smartness."

"BUT I'M NOT SMART!" He wailed. Mr Banner shrugged.

"I think being dumb is the least of your worries now." I said.

"Just no one say _anything _and they will be fine" Emmett resolved.

"Emmett is hitting on Mr Banner. And his clothes GAY or should I say LACK of clothes. I must say now I feel comfortable showing my chest now I have seen his." Mike whispered to Jess,

"Mike, you do know they are fake right… and you really shouldn't be pleased by your appearance." Mike shrugged a began taking off his shirt. Everyone turned silent and looked at him.

_WTH is he doing _**Rosalie**

_I went out with him _**Jess**

_I thought I saw all the idiocy by humans…I was mistaken _**Aro**

"OKAY OKAY, now who has the hotter body, me or Emmet?" Mike said "Rosalie?"

**[A/N she switched teams] **

Rosalie, looked disbelievingly at Mike

"He's my husband?" She answered

"And if he wasn't"

"Umm, you," Mike smiled. Why did he smile?

"Bella?"

"You,"

"I'M ON A ROLL!" Mike shouted.

"Edward?"

"Mike, he's my brother…"

"And,"

"Fine, I'm not gay--" Mike's thoughts interrupted me

_Yet _**Mike**

"But ummm--- you," I answered. Mike gave a silent cheer. After he asked everyone he started cheering.

"Mike why are you happy?" I asked

"Cos you all said I had a hot body." Everyone shook their heads.

"Oohh Mike we were thinking you said who had the_ least_ hot body" Alice said. Mike looked down.

Mike looked at Jess,

"But you went out with me…" Jess nodded,

"But did she ever say she loved you?" Lauren cut in. Mike shook his head.

"Point taken," Mike sighed. Lauren grinned. "I should just put my shirt back on" He mumbled.

"YES YOU DAMN WELL SHOULD." Emmet shouted. Mike put his top back on, blushing.

"Thank god, now the moobs **[A/N: Moobs= Man Boobs] **are put away!" Bella mumbled.

"Your just jealous of my physique," Mike said grinning.

"Okay Edward your next!" Aro boomed. I looked frantically around.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I shouted

BPOV

Edward started struggling. Help me he mouthed to me. I just turned away. He was then dragged out of the room.

"I wonder how long he will be," I asked Emmett and Alice. They both looked at me in envy, that I still hadn't been tortured, I stuck my tongue out. Bad move.

"Bella, I'm not tied up anymore I COULD slap you." He threatened. I immediately shut up. We waited in silence,

"Dum de dum de dum dum," Emmett started.

"SHUT UP, EMMETT," Me and Alice shouted in unison,

"Well sooorry, I was just trying to start a conversation," He said looking down. We all sighed.

"THE NEW EDWARD," I heard Lauren shout. We all looked at the door. Edward was being dragged in. I started laughing. He was wearing yellow tight short shorts, a tank top with 118 in the corner and I LIKE MEN in pink glitter. Also he had a fake moustache.

"Hey the marathon is tomorrow," Emmett joked, happy that he wasn't laughing stock anymore. "I thought I looked bad." He mummered.

"Shut up cullenator," Edward hissed.

"So Edward, you like Men," Mike said winking, "Maybe me and you…" He trailed off, everyone started laughing.

"Nice one Mike," I laughed.

"What…I'm serious." Everyone stopped. Then exploded with more laughter,

"Bella, looks like you have competition." Emmett said between his laughter. I laughed too. Edward growled.

"So Eddie, what's with the shorts?" Emmett asked.

"I don't even think they are qualified as clothing!" Lauren joked.

"Did they absord the sun or something because they are REALLY bright." I said.

"Okay guys, shut up now," Edward said. Emmett shook his head.

"No no, Eddie I took insults, now it's your turn." He said smiling,

"Aww come on, bro, Em, Brother." He said playfully.

"Shut up Edward, your not getting out of this," Emmett said

"Don't like you anyway!" He mumbled. Emmett got out a knife, then a sword, then a rifle.

"Emmett, are you that angry?!" Emmett looked down then back up,

"Oh these, these are my bare essentials. Also that guy that owns that corner shop REALLY pissing me off. I mean the prices UNBELIEVABLE!I might need this for him" Emmett said putting aside his rifle.

"Emmett you don't even eat," I said. Mike, Lauren and Jess looked at me, "I mean we only eat organic food," I answered. They nodded.

"Back on subject, Umm I am trying to find my camera" Emmett answered. He got it out and took a picture of Edward.

"What are you going to do with that?" Edward asked. Emmett smiled.

"Put it on My Myspace,"

"That's it?" Edward asked. Emmett nodded,

"just that, Youtube, Bebo, Facebook, IM, Twitter," Edward got up, **[A/N i know not all don't do videos :D]**

"WHATTTTT" He said edging closer to Emmett.

"I was joking Edward JOKE like hahah joke…Umm no okay then bye!" Emmett started running. "I'M Going back home. Wait there is no time! Where's the nearest INTERNET CAFÉ?!" Emmett shouted. Edward growled and started running after him.

"Okay Bella so you are next." They dragged me in easily. As I was pretty weak. They got me changed and dragged me out. Emmett, Alice and Edward all laughed. I scowled.

"I thought you two were chasing eachother…" I asked Edward shrugged.

"it's been taken care of." He replied I looked at Emmett, his right arm was missing, I laughed.

"bella, how can you laugh when your brother in law has been amputated? I knew you had been possessed by evilness and Satan." Mike cried.

"Who's Satan?" I asked.

"The Devil,"

"The who…" I asked clueless.

"Don't worry. Your intelligence is obviously not high." Mike said.

"So Bella why are you dressed in a wolf suit?!" Emmett asked. Mike Lauren and jess all looked at everyone,

"Yeah why is she?" Jess asked.

"Well, let's just say she is very close to them." Aro said. I looked down, smiling,

"APART FROM ONE," Paul shouted out. I knew he didn't like me.

"Which wolf," Mike asked.

"The Big Bad Wolf," I replied.

"Make sense," He replied. I laughed.

"Guys, I think we should stop the whole kidnapping stupidness." Carlisle said. Everyone nodded,

"okay agreed," We all went to shake hands. But the doors were burs open

"WE DECLARE WAR," They all shouted.

It was Jacob, Renee, Eric and Jasper

"Wait, I thought you were on their team and Jasper was on Rosalie's team?!" I asked.

"Well Me, Jacob, Renee and Jasper went to the grocery shop to buy food, while you guys were unconscious, but we forgot our way back, so we decided to plot against all of you." I nodded in understanding.

Jacob began walking over to me, "I knew you like Big Bad Wolves,I knew you loved me babes, this shows me" he said while letting out a growl, and winked.

"Come again," I then realised he met the outfit I wore. "Oh Jake, I was forced into this."

"Force of love?" He questioned I shook my head.

"No Force of Revenge.." I answered

"Oh, umm Force of Revenge told me to say that. Friends is just fine."

JacobPOV

One day Jacob. One day. Edward, reading my mind growled. READ MY MIND IDIOT. One day Bella will be MINEEEEEEEE!

"Hey guys, what are you guys here for?"

"REVENGE OF THE REVENGE YOU HAD BECAUSE YOU WERE REVENGING US BEACAUSE WE WERE REVENGED YOU!"

"In English please."

"WE WANT REVENGE!"

"Okay then, could you give us like 5 minutes to plan?"

"yeah sure that will be fine, we will just wait over here," Jasper said, pointing to a corner.

**WOHOOOOOO LONG ONE, COS I WAS AWAY FOR 11 DAYS :D SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. **

**UM FAVOURITE LINE**

**FAVOURITE BIT**

**FAVOURITE CHAPPY?**

**CHOICE OF CLOTHING?**

**THE PRANKS BEGIN!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW MIGHT UPDATE 2MOZ IF I GET 15+ REVIEWS !**

**Costumes explained**

**Alice- She can see future. Gyspy can too. Get it... **

**Emmett- Strong. Weight lifter... Get it**

**Edward- Fast runner. 118 commercial runners.**

**Bella- Wolf Best friend - Wolf**

**SIMPLE! :)**


	49. PLEASE READ: SEQUEL INFORMATION!

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know you don't like author Notes. But please Read VERY IMPORTANT!**

**This story I think will end soon. So I am thinking doing a sequel NOW and not do any more chapters on Prank Calls. Or should I do a 500 word last chapter that will lead into the sequel.**

**Basically the sequel will be about them all prank each other in teams. As a Prank War breaks out between them so it will be Non stop pranking. Sound good? **

**REVIEW if you want me to do a sequel! And I will start it today.**

**SEQUEL? Review and tell me your answers. Should there be a sequel? **


	50. Final Chapter: WAR DECLARED

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight**

**LAST CHAPTER: there WILL be a sequel!!!!!!!!! REVIEW THOUGH!**

**Chapter 50**

**EdwardPOV**

We all went to the corner. Jasper, Esme, Renee and Eric waited patiently.

"Be careful, they could be listening," Emmett whispered, barely audible. We all looked around.

"Emmett the others are far away…" I reminded him. Emmett shook his head.

"I mean the walls. They are watching us and maybe _listening_" He said spooked out. I shook my head.

"Yes Emmett, because walls do listen," Mike said sarcastically. Emmett nodded.

"Finally, Mike we are on the same page!" Emmett said thinking Mike was serious.

"Mike don't worry, Emmett is slow. Very slow," I said. Emmett wasn't even listening.

"So they want to revenge us?" Emmett questioned.

"Well done O' great one," Aro sarcastically applauded. Emmett scowled.

_It really offends me when people make fun of my smartness. _**Emmett**

Emmett then wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes. Everyone soon realised,

_What the hell? Emmett did not just start crying! _**Jess**

_I thought I was emotional! _**Mike**

"Everyone is wondering why you are crying Emmett," I said laughing. All the humans looked at me. Emmett smiled,

"Edward, it seems you have inhuman powers to read minds...or something, please explain," Emmett said slyly. I turned to glare at him. Rosalie turned and slapped him on the head.

_What is the vampire doing? I would result in killing him! _**Aro **

_For gods sake Emmett can't not cause trouble _**Alice**

_I want to SLAP HIM SO BAD _**Rosalie **

_I want—no NEED Bella….or Edward _**Mike**

Ignoring Mikes thoughts I thought of a excuse.

"I could, umm read it in your eyes," I lied.

"Really, because I don't thi--" Emmett started debating. Alice hit him again. "OWW MUM, ALICE HIT ME!" He squealed. Esme sighed at looked over.

"Emmett you deserved it," She stated. Emmett's eyes went wide.

"Your on her side! That is disgraceful, I don't need a mum I shall move out ASAP." Emmett said. Esme shrugged.

"If you wish," Emmett looked scared.

"No, Mummy, the streets are scary these days! I want to stay with YOUUUUU." He shouted running out the room.

_So the vampire is scared of the streets… _**Aro**

I wonder how long he will be," Bella wondered. I put my arm around her and kissed her temple.

"Let's hope a very long long time!" I replied. Everyone laughed.

_That should be me with my arm around Bella! When will Cullen learn that Bella needs a real MAN like me! _**Mike **

Mikes phone started ringing, he read the Caller ID and sighed.

**Mike **_Mike's mum_

**Mum, what do you want? **Mike's mum's voice was loud and we could all hear the conversation

_Michael I hope you are not being rude to me!_

**No Mum, it's just that I'm busy **Mike whined

_Are you trying to impress Stella again? _I laughed at the fact she thought Bella was called Stella, Bella blushed.

**Mummm! **

_Don't worry I won't embarrass you. I just called to say. Where did you put your Bunny rabbit. It's due for cleaning. _

**MUmm! *hang up* **Mike immediately hung up, and blushed.

_That was embarrassing! I better text mum where it is. _**Mike **

Mike then got out his phone. I peeked over and saw what he was writing he wrote

**Mummy,**

**Sorry bad connection. Mr Fluffy**

**Is behind my pink couch :) **

**LoveYouLOTS! **

**MichaelyPoops x x x x x**

I let out a laugh and pretended that I didn't notice.

"So back on subject they will prank us until we turn green," Bella said. Everyone nodded, apart from Mike,

"But we don't turn green," Mike said confused. Everyone rolled their eyes

_Looks like Emmett isn't the only slow one. _**Jessica**

"Exactly," Bella said. Mike whimpered.

"At least there will be no physical damage." Mike said, assuring himself.

"WE DON'T PROMISE THAT!" Jasper shouted from across the room. Mike shuddered.

"So we need to plan what we are going to do. We could run or prank." Rosalie said.

"I don't care, as long as my hair is fine." Lauren said.

"I say we prank!" Mike shouted.

"You don't have to try sound like a man to impress me Mike," Bella said. Mike exhaled.

"Good, LET'S RUN!" He said.

"No, I think we should vote when Emmett comes." Rosalie said. Alice zoned out. I realised she was having a vision,

_Emmett on the side of a road. With a sign reading: RIDE NEEDED FEET HURT FROM PILGRIMAGE. He was covered in twigs and stones. His clothes ripped._

"Yeah. Um Emmett could be a while" Alice said giggling. I laughed too.

"Well we should wait." Jess suggested.

**10 MINUTES LATER…**

Emmett soon entered, stumbling through the door, everyone looked at him.

"What happened to you Emmett?" Mike asked. Emmett growled.

"I was hungry. But the bear attacked me," Emmett said, Mike looked confused.

"You were going to eat a bear? Alive?" He asked astounded.

"Sorry if I like my food ALIVE!" Emmett defended.

"Sorry to interrupt your little bicker but we need to vote declare war or run and hide in another part of the world." I declared. Emmett glared around.

"Everyone says war right," He said giving deadly stares. Everyone nodded.

_He needs to lay off the steroids _**Jessica**

_I swear his eyes are popping out his skull _**Alice**

"Well I actually feel--" Mike started. Emmett looked at him. "nothing, I feel nothing," He quickly concluded. Emmett patted his head.

"Good puppy," He congratulated. "So where's the AK47 and grenades?" Emmett asked enthused. Everyone fake laughed.

"oh, Emmett you crack me up hahah," Rosalie laughed,

"I know. But I am serious." He said with his serious face.

"Umm—Emmett this is a PRANK war not a REAL war…" I pointed out. Emmett's eye's went wide.

"Fine whatever." He started wiping imaginary tears from his eyes

_De ja Vu _**Alice**

"I'm sorry, it's just so emotional!" Emmett wailed. Mike walked over and put his arm around Emmett.

_If you squint REALLY hard Emmett looks like Bella. I mean REALLY hard! Aww who am I kidding. I might as well close my eyes! _**Mike**

I laughed to myself. Emmett glared at Mike.

"WHAT THE HELL…" Emmett said slowly. Mike immediately retreated his arm.

"My bad, my arm just does it's own thing, I mean. What I am saying is--" He rapidly said.

"Mike, shut up!" Aro said.

"My pleasure sir!" Mike said, being quiet.

"SO ANYWAY I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!" Emmett shouted.

**And this is where the SEQUEL COMES IN check it out. It will be on my profile and called Prank Wars. Please review with ideas for what to do first! Should the teams be.**

**Couples vs Couples**

**Boy vs Girls**

**Random teams (you tell me)**

**REVIEW THANKS TO EVERYONE REVIEWING THIS STORY. REVIEW!! SHOULD THERE BE A SEQUEL?! REVIEW REVIEW!**


	51. PLEASE READ: Reminder

Authors Note PLEASE READ:

**I seem not to be getting as many hits for the sequel to this story; Prank Calls.**

**It's called Prank War,**

**I just thought i would inform you guys, incase some of you forgot :D It's on my profile page.**

**Summary:**_ SEQUEL TO PRANK CALLS: The Cullen Pack, Some of the Wolf Pack, Aro, Renee,_

_Charlie, Mike, Eric and others. A Prank War breaks out. Funnyness ENSURED! R&R. Very OOCness_

**Here's a bit of chapter 2: **

_"So this is the sophisticated table of scoring. We put the score on the left, the mean on the right and the median right here, in the middle." Emmett started explaining. _

_"You don't have to act clever Emmett, we know you aren't," Alice soothed. Emmett smiled._

_"Good, because I didn't have ONE clue on what I was saying."_

_"Nice Emmett. So does anyone have any ideas on what prank to do and who one?" I questioned._

_"I HAVE ONE!" Jacob shouted. I looked at him._

_"One that does not include me snogging you," I said. Jacob smiled. "Or me having any contact with you!" I amended._

_"Oh, idea's gone" Jacob said. I laughed._

5 MINUTES LATER…

_"So is it agreed?" Emmett said. Everyone nodded. "We will do THE prank?" Emmett said. Jacob paused,_

_"Wait what's THE prank?" Jacob questioned. Emmett slapped the back of Jacobs head._

_"You ruined the dramatic effect! I was building up tension!" Emmett complained._

_"Sorry, but what is THE--" Jacob started. Emmett interrupted._

_"NO JACOB, IT'S TOO LATE, YOU WEREN'T LISTENING I WILL NOT TELL YOU!" Emmett shouted._

_"But, the thing is you didn't tell me the prank!" Jacob pointed out. Emmett shook his head._

_"You weren't listening!" Emmett debated._

_"Emmett, you wrote it down and passed it to Alice and Bella!" Jacob said,_

_"You didn't hear the prank? Well you better sleep with one eye open then!" Emmett warned._

_"It's midday!" Jacob pointed out._

_"I warned you…Anyway ONWARDS WITH THE PRANK!" Emmett commanded._

_

* * *

_

**So go check it out if you like the sound of it :)**


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